Daughter getting fat in school

She is. She needs to find out why the school are not supervising students in an appropriate way.

Send her to state school where the portions are meagre she will soon lose the weight. State school children who are fat only get fat at home.

at least you can control the home diet

It’s not jumping to conclusions. Stated as fact in her previous thread. I’m in a similar position and having very limited mobility makes you more aware than most of just how few extra calories it takes to pile on weight, and the knock on effects. This could be feeding in to her concern about DD. If DD is overweight then it is a cause for concern. Obesity is a huge problem in the UK and is straining healthcare and benefits. OP is right to be concerned.

Grow up

Your guess is way off the mark. I worked in them and have close friends with snr roles in excellent boarding schools.

OP is getting a lot of criticism here, which is a little unfair. I would definitely take her to the specialist who she saw. The school doctor is out of his depth here. What is her age, height and weight? Was she underweight before her surgery?

Was the tumour anywhere on her endocrine system? If so it may have affected her metabolism

Well so far OP wont answer the following bits of information, even though other posters are posting as if she has told us where and what the tumours were about

Age of child
Height and weight
Type of boarding (so are all meals supplied during term time by school or is she home for weekends)
Where the tumour was, what type
What bloods were done prior to getting it removed, she will have had bloods done then
Whether still open to the surgical team for follow up or whether closed now as tumour has been removed
What the child thinks about the tumour, distressed, panicked, worried, or none of the above
Was it linked to any other illness or condition
What type of lifestyle she has at school, active or not

I’m guessing you’re dead set against boarding schools then ?

The school Dr seems very remiss as well. It's not an effective set up, and for that alone I would certainly transfer her.

Technically not your business and not saying it to stir stuff just as another possibility but she could be on contraception. My best friend had painful periods from endo so started a hormone contraception and ballooned up to 3 times her usual size in just a few months.

I'd rally not jump to any conclusions about the OP and her health.

Yes yanbu in that you need to pull her out. And get over there to see her asap and find out how she really is.

i’m sorry to worry you but large weight gain after surgery for a tumor sounds very concerning to me. I would be getting her to see the clinician who did her tumor removal asap. She must be so worried herself about that even is she is not telling you. You don’t sound like someone it will be easy to chat to about inner feelings so maybe she is bottling a lot up. You need to see her and find out.

OP is disabled. If her mobility is affected she will be much more aware of how easy it is to put on weight, and of its knock on effects on general health. That could be the reason she’s so unhappy about such a rapid weight gain in her DD. And DD has been at boarding school for quite some time - why would she suddenly be going overboard because of free access ?

Daughter had major surgery last year and specifically should not eat sugar loaded food

If this is a medical issue which you make it sound, the school should ne controlling it.

Obviously she could ask friends to buy sweets etc for her so it's hard to control completely.

However if she is now in her teens, some self-care is surely what's needed?

If the drs have told her not to eat a lot of sugar, why is she?

Have you not spoken to her about it?

@joey197860

How old is your daughter, OP?

Was the tumor related to thyroid? If not is her TSH level normal range ? Is her period regular? Does she play any sports at school?

teens tend to survive on junk but they balance it out with sports,

Good pastoral care is not giving every child what they want. It's about building confidence and resilience so that they make the right choices. They are not ensuring that she has adequate care and support, and seem to have some sort of laissez faire approach. Not great.

Thankyou i have asked this question and OP has carefully ignored it while replying to other posts.

Given the OPs attitude to weight i would bet she has 'kept' her daughter purposefully quite thin and her daughter is now going a bit mad with free access to food.

If this teen has had a big growth spurt and grown inches that in itself would represent significant weight so this in addition to filling out and gaining a bit of excess might have equated to 3.5st.

I bet shes not obese though just larger than OP would like her to be.

OP has posted that her younger kids are eager to start boarding school,

I'd guess younger children 'look up' to their older sibling and think it's all jolly good fun at boarding school. Tuck shops and midnight feasts in the dorm (ha ha.)

They don't however have the same personality and presumably not hitting puberty yet.

I think this poster was referring to inability to exercise post surgery. And it does sound as though the tumour was hormone related so possibly that’s the reason for the rapid weight gain.

Poor girl. Why hasn't the boarding school managing the access to food properly? You're paying for care as well as learning.
What have the pastoral team said?.

Is it possible she is eating her feelings? It's possible to be 'thriving' at school n terms of having friends, making progress academically - but that could just be survival. Sending a child away to board at a young age cannot be without consequence. Some of those will be good - resilience, independence etc, but much will be a sense of rejection, learning that she has to rely on herself, because saying that she is sad and missing her parents is not what school or parents want to hear, so she buries those feelings and comfort eats.
Ultimately, no boarding school can provide the level of supervision and support offered by growing up in the parental home unless they can provide a ratio of an adult for every couple of kids. If she lived at home you would know what and when she was eating. With the best will in the world, no school can monitor every child in that way. More crucially, they may be great at pastoral care but they do not love your child in the way I hope you do. Children are not daft, and they know that kind pastoral care is no substitute for being actively loved on a daily basis within the framework of a supportive family. If you are a military family and had no choice but to send her away at primary age, does she fully understand why she could not live with you?