Daughter getting fat in school

It’s not the only explanation. This amount this fast is extremely unusual given that the core diet at school Will be balanced and regular exercise a requirement. There could be endocrinological things at play. You are probably paying for BUPA in your fees, get her to an endocrinologist

Other threads also show a very 'brutal' (her words) way of punishing her teens which she felt was necessary. Some teens might comply with those measures, others might push back.

I wonder what her daughter's doing?

She has a masters degree in sociology and reports herself to be widely read and widely travelled. That's feels intelligent and I think she could have started at a different point for this thread.

Old threads show one year ago it was her 13 year old daughter who had emergency surgery to remove a 2.5 kg tumour and right ovary. It grew from a ping pong ball size in just 3 weeks. Invasive laparotomy with a lateral scar from the sternum to the public bone at least 16 inches long.

Scary stuff, I'm sure. For family and daughter.

But no, mum chooses to opt for "Fat and it's the school's fault"

Removing an ovary doesn't usually mean weight gain. The other ovary takes over.

I would check medical. Bit I piled know weight in high school. School lunches, snacks from school shop, snacks in evening at home after dinner plus not enough physical activity

A friend of mine in her very early 20s suffered huge and rapid weight gain. She had an ovarian tumour. I would be wanting this investigated. Such rapid weight gain seems very unusual to be purely from having an open kitchen.

Everything hasn’t been tried.

If everything had been tried you would know if it’s a medical:hormonal issue. Yet you wondered if it could be that on the thread.

So clearly everything hasn’t been tried.

This sounds like it’s just one of those ‘let’s post this as an excuse to trash fat people and people who think there’s more going on for obese people than just greed’

You absolutely should and investigate this properly. That amount of weight in a few months is not normal. I went to boarding school and we didnt have access to food 24/7 we were expected to eat at meal times and not snack all day.

Boarding school after major surgery. Solved it for you.

2.5kg tumor and removal of an ovary - this has got to be more than just over eating, and is bound to be wrapped up in her prior medical history.

Oophorectomy often leads to increase adipose tissue. Is she on any sort of hormonal replacement to rebalance her?

It’s a very large amount of weight in a short time so I’d also be thinking health issue or pregnancy rather than just over eating.

Hope you get to the bottom of it soon OP.

I noticed that some posters mentioned other points they had discovered on the OP's other posts.

I'm afraid I did have a look and it's worried me. It's where another poster was worried about her badly behaved teens, just a few months ago.

OP your style of parenting is, in some ways, quite controlling in so much as the punishments you have given your children. Your posts don't paint a picture of an always very happy family, but where you were very 'brutal' (your own words) with punishments that some parents would consider excessive and going to make things worse.

Yet you say your home life is happy.

I fully get how awful teens can be! But it's possible your D is reacting to this and it's her way of rebelling.

It makes me see your D's eating in a very different way and say yet again that she may be unhappy and this is disordered eating.

I have read the thread. I'm questioning how happy DD really is at boarding school and whether it is essential for her to be there. Children don't always speak openly to their parents even if they appear to. Maybe there is a hormonal reason for the weight gain but comfort eating is also a possibility.

OP is disabled and a single mother of three. Possibly there’s a reason for her thinking to be clouded a bit ? She says her other two children are looking forward to boarding school. Without prejudice, it’s uncommon for a disabled single mother to be able to afford boarding schools for three children. If there are bursaries involved there will be good reasons.

I agree with you. It would be the latter. I think OP was putting too much reliance on the school doctor’s view but I think she realizes this now.

Have you read the thread ? Boarding school isn’t the cause of all ills. DD has been boarding for several years and OP says she’s happy and well integrated. The fact that DD has had recent surgery to remove a hormone related tumour is by far the most likely explanation for the weight gain.

And she may already have an ED, which is all the more reason to be careful and go softly.

Exactly this.

Perhaps I'm judgy thinking the mother of publicly/privately educated children would be intelligent herself but she negates this by starting straight from "OMG there is no rhyme or reason for this". Posting on a forum rather than methodically working through the medical, physical, mental, emotional and pastoral issues that have been in play over the last year.

Plus the fecking awful "not that kind of girl" pearl clutching response provides another insight into OPs attitude and outlook.

What type of girl is that?

Id be really careful how you speak about this to your dd. Eating disorders and disordered eating is rife and the way you deal with this could literally determine dds relationship with food and herself for the rest of her life.
Im not saying dont get things checked out, but please be careful.
As they say - not every person that diets will end up with an ED, but everyone with an ED started with a diet...

It may not be down to the school. Everything points to it being a medical concern, which OP is going to check out.

If you were in OP's shoes, with the information we have about the surgery and the rate of the weight gain, would you be thinking "the school is making my DD fat" or would you be thinking "fuck I'm so worried DD is seriously ill"?

Oh dear. Are you sure she’s not pregnant? Very worrying thought I know. Maybe there’s a secret love affair and it’s all been very meaningful - not ‘that kind of girl’ at all, as you put it. She might be terrified of your reaction and that she’ll be judged so trying to hide it from you. If so I feel so sorry for her. I hope it’s not of course but if it is please please give her the benefit of the doubt. She’ll really need her mum.

Why is she at boarding school in the first place?
Comfort eating is by far the most likely explanation. She must know how much she is eating and why but perhaps she can't talk openly to you. You could offer to find her a counsellor, or perhaps the school has one.

There are state boarding schools you don’t know she’s not already at one.