Daughter getting fat in school

DO you have any updates? I'm intrigued

Ah ok.. this was in Ireland and perhaps there was a worry for the future. Different area of the body also.

Not usually in the UK unless there is a risk of the tumour turning cancerous at some stage, or requiring treatment within the speciality of an oncologist. SiL was recently referred for tests for suspected cancerous tumour. Biopsies revealed it was benign and referral was to an endocrinologist.

I'm almost sure that even if benign, you'd go under care of an oncologist, who in sure would give better advice that MN on this one. I think this because i remember being surprised to hear itbfrom a friend whose dc had a benign tunour, that couldn't be fully removed. Her dd will be monitored and scanned for years I imagine, after this tumour.

I'm pretty sure I saw an old post of the OP's where she said her DD was put under the care of an oncologist. I know it's bad form to link to old posts on a current post though, so I won't do that.

I assumed it was a benign tumour, the placement of which affected hormones, because there has been no mention of an oncologist or cancer in any of OP’s posts. The only details she gave were that a tumour was removed and the weight gain could be hormonal as a result. Several posters have assumed cancer and mentioned oncology but not OP herself.

I had an ovarian cyst in my teens and as it appeared as an abnormal cyst I was referred to an oncologist as soon as it was detected via ultrasound. It turned out to be a dermoid cyst which was benign but I only had one follow up after the surgery to remove it despite having most of my ovary removed alongside it as well as them diagnosing pcos during the surgery.

She mentions the daughter being put under the care of an oncologist. I am no doctor, but am I right in thinking that a benign tumour would not require an oncologist? Unless the oncologist is the one who would take a biopsy of a tumour then remove it even if it was benign? Perhaps I misunderstood her post on that.

Agree, this thread is sounding like a story that daughter recounts in therapy after a lifelong eating disorder tbh. Whether it’s medical, emotional overeating or a lack of understanding about food, the way this is dealt with needs to be utterly sensitive or there is going to be a lifelong eating issue.

Can’t message her. Her profile is gone

No. It says you can’t because she’s gone from the site. Her username is no more

Just grumpy. Sorry. Felt silly at getting pulled up for using postal order to mean arranging an order by post.

Also tetchy as my DSis had similar issues at that age due to having to take antibiotics dose up to age 16 following a serious illness. It was hard for her to be bigger than her friends at that age. Imagine it's ever harder for young women and girls today.

And thanks for not taking my grrrrr personally.

Why so nasty?

I agree! They are also less yummy.

But it all else is well is OP's DD they could help in phasing out other candy without feeling left out. Or not. It really is up to the OP.

And I have seen postal orders in real life - some people without bank accounts rely in them. Well done for knowing how to use Google though 👏🏻

Ah I get it now! Like a subscription service 😀

I wouldn't know. My intended meaning was to suggest setting up a regular order of sugar free sweets to arrive by post.
Suggested from experience of supporting a sweet toothed family member at risk of diabetes.

I assumed you meant a weekly sweet subscription over the internet.

which again sounds like an odd solution to what is a very serious issue.

sugar free sweets can be unhealthy. They also tend to be aimed at adults and diabetics. I really don’t see how they will solve this issue?

edited to say I used to read about postal orders in Mallory towers books many, many years ago😊. I had to google them to see if they still existed. I have never seen on in real life. I thought they went out with trunks full of tuck😂

How strange, I can’t remember the last time I wrote a cheque and probably haven’t seen a postal order in over 40 years! Probably easier for a child away at school to have money transferred to their bank account I would have thought. I like that they are still around though, makes me nostalgic for birthday cards from my granny that always contained a postal order ❤️

In leui of cheques? Yes they do.
Hope it's clear I meant it as an order by post through?? Which also exists.

Someone said it earlier in the thread, apparently based on another thread by the OP, that it had grown extremely rapidly over a short time period and had resulted in the removal of a 2.5k tumour and an ovary, and included a long horizontal incision. I don't know if that's correct and don't have time to go back through all the posts.

Can I ask why you seem so weirdly over-invested in this? You've posted about 20 times as many as the OP.

There are two reasons. Either it's health related (i.e. hormones or results of the surgery) or she's eating too much.

You need to get to the bottom of why and only then can you do something about it.

Trying to have the kitchen closed down overnight is about the most stupid thing I've ever heard. Why should all the other pupils suffer - the ones who don't have a medical issue and aren't over-eating?

Also just taking away eating options is absolutely the wrong thing to do and is likely to do more harm than good as it can lead to "secret" eating, binge eating, food theft, etc., often blighting someone's entire life (I speak from my own experience).

The core cause has to be worked out and then dealt with. Ideas such as closing the kitchen don't even begin to deal with the underlying problem. That kind of thing is just putting a sticking plaster over a broken leg.

Postal order? Do they still exist???

Thanks. I had an obese friend I've known since we were at school (year 6) and she claims to have been diagnosed with this . I have been sceptical about it but now it seems that it's a real thing! I was worried about her dropping dead from a stroke as she is as big as me (25 stone ) and I see myself in her when I look at her and sometimes it turns my stomach . I feel bad that I've been having a go at her in my mind (never told her how I feel). sHe used to claim bizarre things (claiming her lovely parents were abusive ) so I just assumed this was one of those things .

Now I know, I will go to easier on her too and seek some therapy for myself. Thanks so much, I appreciate it .

apologies to @joey197860 for derailing, me-railing, really, your thread. Hope things get sorted with your DD.

Bingeing and self harm do go together; bingeing can be a way of harming yourself. It's never too late to seek therapy. It isn't a quick or easy process, but it can help and you deserve to feel better. There are quite a few podcasts about this too - I find Christy Harrison very insightful on the subject.

This really won’t fix the issue. Sending a child with an eating disorder or hormonal imbalance sugar free sweets will not fix the root cause of what is clearly a very serious health issue (either mental or physical).

it needs medical assessment and intervention.