Occupational flirting

you think flirty banter with FIL is fine?

How many of those being crytical are the same ones who will talk behind your back and slag you off to get ahead. Know which one I prefer.

Most of us will use whatever 'skill' we have to our advantage. Most guys realise what is happening but still are flattered. Crack on OP.

No, this isn’t Mad Men. Surely you have many more skills to offer in the workplace. I’m not sure why you think flirting is your only asset. As for flirting with your father-in-law, it’s not right at all. You are coming across as having low self-esteem with a husband who doesn’t value your full worth outside of your sexuality.

There are no occupations where this is acceptable in 2024. You’ll have male and female colleagues looking on, losing respect for the ones of you carrying on the way you are.

No, I've worked hard to climb the ladder based on my skills. Not how well I can flirt with some office perv. I also care about other women and what kind of message this behaviour sends out in the workplace.

As for flirting with your FiL. Ew. That's just weird and a bit disgusting tbh.

But you do you. The 1950s are that way. ⬅️ Maybe watching one too many episodes of Mad Men with a Saturday night wine, OP?

You are a HR disaster waiting to happen.

Is 60 middle aged (missing whatever your point is)?

Also wondering how you’d react if one of these men took your flirting seriously?

Have you ever stopped to think how your MIL feels about you flirting with FIL?

You’re not going to be mid 30s forever. Look forward to your husband knowing it’s ok for him to flirt with women half his age. You’re sending the message loud and clear.

There's a director in our office who openly admits he likes women to be assertive with him, always helped me get decisions out of him so why not 😂

I'm blonde and in my 30s working in a male dominated field, whilst I don't class myself as flirty I try and get on with my colleagues in a 'bantery' way, it's up to them how they take it and if it makes my life easier so be it!

flirty banter with FIL is digusting

that is grim 🤢

Nooo!!! Please do not do this. These old guys will just be even more convinced they are attractive to younger women and when they believe that, they're a liability, making a nuisance of themselves to young women who don't welcome their attentions. You are really not helping your younger colleagues here by fostering their delusions. Also, I really doubt you're helping yourself. Men tend to promote to the Big Jobs in their own image, and however much you flatter their egos when it matters they'd still probably pick a man over you. Or if they recruit on the basis of a woman's sexuality then a younger even more attractive woman.

Oh Jane, this thread is not going to go well for you.

What are you getting out of this flirty banter? Obviously not their respect, or deserved recognition and/or progression in your career. And they won’t be doing anything for you that doesn’t come with expectations, so I’m struggling to see what’s in this for you?

I’m sure it’s not uncommon at all. It’s one way to climb the ladder. It’s just a form of manipulation really which some people may need employ for professional gain. I suppose if you don’t mind what these men say about you behind closed office doors then crack on. I doubt they don’t see through the act.

It’s very very ick that you do it with your FIL.

No, I’m a woman and I don’t use my sexuality in the work place. Why on earth would I? I want my colleagues to take me seriously and have no interest in flattering older men — the thought makes me feel a bit sick actually.

What you maybe don’t take into account is the next 30 something attractive woman they encounter at work is now more likely to find they expect her to deliver flirtatious “banter” in exchange for professional gain.

Your behaviour creates an expectation that these older men must be serviced in a sexually flattering way by younger women.

You may not make a problem for you or your DH, but you’re creating a problem for lots of other women.

oh dear

God, lighten up people. It's perfectly fine to flirt with and try to sexually manipulate your FIL and colleagues, while your DH finds it a turn on. And then describe myself as a succubus. It's just bantz, init! Just a bit of fun.

Eurgh

I'm cringing for you OP. Cringing so hard I think I might turn inside out.

Reminds me of at least two episodes of Ally Mcbeal where a woman is a charming and attractive employee who uses her sexuality to her advantage against older men at work. It's not exactly unheard of. Ignore the frosty comments coming up. ☃️

But you wouldn’t do it to a female boss (who likely would have worked a lot harder to get to position than any of these gruesome men). Spew.

No wonder men don't take women seriously in the work place if women like you OP flirt rather than use your intellect and professional capabilities to get on.

Yuck

There's no such thing as flirting in a non-sexual way.