Occupational flirting

Well I believe in equality and men don't need sex appeal to get on in their careers so why should women?
You need intelligence and knowledge and integrity and professionalism to do your job properly. I don't see what sex appeal has to do with it.
And that's aside from having respect: self respect, and also respect for the wife's, girlfriends and partners of these men who women like OP are flirting with.

This! 👏👏

Yes, in general, men love flirty banter - aka 'flanter' - and I don't see any problem with a woman 'using her feminine wiles' to her advantage.

That said, I've always found that 'flanter' comes naturally, ie, it's always just how I myself, for example, would naturally relate to a male co-worker/industry professional that I have a good rapport with. It's not something I'd ponder over, if you see what I mean, as you have here; how you describe it sounds almost a little too 'try hard'.

But, equally, if it works for you, who are we to argue?

Only flirting I'd do with a boss is to the back of the head just after I'd picked my nose.

See, I never understand attitudes like this.

It's a fact that confidence, charisma and sex appeal opens doors for people that might otherwise remain closed.

If a woman knows how to use these characteristics to her advantage in a professional capacity, why should that be frowned upon?

I thought women were supposed to be able to do what they want? Or can they only do what other women approve of?

I cringe at women who go giggly and flirty to get their own way or to curry favour with men.

I would much rather see a confident woman holding her own intellectually than being coquettish.

I work in a mostly male industry. All I say is don't shit where you eat. I've seen women doing this and I've heard men whole appearing to enjoy it the slag the woman off behind their back to the whole male group. You don't want to be that woman, trust me.

succubus, do you mean succaboss?

I'm embarrassed for you.

I feel like I've time travelled. You don't have to get all flirty and silly to get what you want. If you do, you have a problem.

You don't seem to know the difference between banter and flirting, which is concerning.

🤢 flirting with your FIL eughhh

Why not just do your job, OP?

TotHappy · Today 00:15

And yes, on occasion with my FIL too

🤮

I’m in my 50s and have a similar relationship with my male coworkers. It’s just banter

I sort of know what you mean OP. I have to turn on the charm x1000 when talking to potential funders who are mostly middle aged men. I give more consideration to what I wear when meeting them and I'm definitely less authentic than when I'm meeting with women.

The problem with this approach is youth is finite and you are getting very close to the age where it will stop working. Then what will you do?

You don't gain respect by pandering to male ego, you gain it by being three times as good at your job than they are.

Now you could be the very best there is at your job but that won't matter because you've been using your youth and sex instead, they will never ever see how good you are, they will only be thinking of your tits, legs and arse and you are more than that, way more.

I worked with consultants in ag and fish and by and large they started off trying the oh it's a bit of crumpet, chatty banter. But I very quickly turned all that on it's head by remaining professional, talking on their level, and getting the job done quickly and accurately. When review times came along I had the best relationship scores with the consultants because they respected my approach.

That will last right up to your retirement in a way flirting won't.

This is even more nauseating than the OP!

And yes, on occasion with my FIL too.

Nah, I know exactly what you mean, OP. It's not gross because it's not sexual, really. It just kinda flatters them, meets them where they're at.

I find myself doing it almost automatically with a certain type of older man, sometimes at work but not always a colleague. Sometimes socially. In my case its less of the putting them down bantz and more of the 'I'm soooo grateful for your help, gosh isn't it HARD this process' or whatever. I exaggerate slightly but its an almost subconscious little-girl-lost thing that I adopt which helps to sort of smooth down their prickles and get them to show me stuff/give me info I need with the minimum of fuss.

It feels more like armour than weaponry to me and I don't feel bad. Their fault for needing it.

You really flirt with your FIL and DH doesn't mind? Too grim for words.

Oh dear... no OP this is not good. I've worked with women who behave like you and everyone is just laughing at them behind their back. Please don't belittle yourself in this way. It makes you look as thick as mince.

It depends entirely on the relationship between all parties. Consider the lame old line of a guy with his girlfriend meeting her mother....'is this your sister' he asks. It's just jokey words.

Yuck. This is what other women look at and start wondering if you slept your way to the top; a very 80s way to behave in the workplace.

You do you but manipulation is not for me. I don't get any joy from winning with my tits over my wits at work.

I'm sure your MIL and the wives of these men think you're an utter delight. Reign it in Madame de pompadour