I hear you OP!
My husband and I had a registry office ceremony with our parents, followed by a 60ish wedding party on the Saturday with family and friends.
Hand on heart I feel the same as you. I did enjoy the Saturday party, but there were so many things I found still bother me now. Also close to 3 years.
I was so excited to see my fiancé's face when he first saw me and my father walking down the aisle. This is my favourite part of other peoples weddings, I always look at the groom when the bride first arrives to see his happy face, then admire her dress properly.
Sadly I didn’t get to as a guest had unexpectedly decided to bring their children, they were sat at the back, I assume to allow an escape if needed. They were the first people I saw as I walked in so all I could think in that initial second was oh god we have no food or entertainment for these kids! I am so angry with myself that I let it take over that moment but there we go. It wasn't a lingering thought, but I missed his first look at me as I was staring at them. Hopefully
not with a look of horror on my face 😂
Best man was trying to be helpful, but took it upon himself to reorganise the entire table plan to accommodate these additional guests. We had hired an MC so he didn’t need to do anything, the staff would have coped if he had just asked for help. This unfortunately caused total chaos for everyone as the table plan then didn’t make sense and the staff didnt know he had changed things, or that they had more people to feed. Not a big deal initially but the kitchen were then stressed as people took ages going to their seats. This lead to rushed speeches and stressed my dad.
My bridesmaids had bought me a flower preservation gift, but one was so stressed about the flowers being perfect that she took my bouquet off me and put it in water as soon as we entered the drinks reception. I was talking and it kind of vanished from my hand without me clocking where she was taking it, the result though was when we went for our photoshoot I couldn’t take my bouquet as it was soaking wet. Luckily my other bridesmaid was still carrying hers around and so I used hers. But it was different flowers and looks quite small in the pictures. We only had a handful, but I obviously think of that when I look at them.
During the party later in the evening the unexpected children grew bored, best man decided to take them and their parents to a club room off the main area of the party. This was fine, except the main group who know them all went too, so we then had two rooms of people. It was a small event of 60 people anyway but it made the main room feel so empty. Really ruined for me what was the main part as I was unaware of what had happened at the time so it appeared that lots of people had just left super early. That’s the bit that made me really sad. It was only 7:30 and it felt like the party was over before the evening food had even been served. They flitted around in drips and drabs but it totally killed the atmosphere to have such a large space but two bars open.
i am aware these are all small things in the scheme of things, but we deliberately had a low key small wedding to avoid the drama of organising and coordinating. But then the tiny few things we did actually want, a few photos, an intimate party and smooth day were ruined but unfortunate circumstances.
I was on a high from the celebrations for sure, but when I look back these overshadow some of the joy.
It’s not something either of us would ever mention in real life as people were doing what they thought was right at the time with the best intentions and I wouldn’t want them to think we were ungrateful.
I would say though, if you haven’t checked your children are definitely invited. Please just ask the couple. Our upset would have mostly been avoided if they had just asked us if they could bring them, none of our friends or family have brought their children to weddings before, their names werent on the invites so it was a massive very disruptive oversight!’