Partner quit his job to homeschool his autistic son

Not wanting to be that person but surely you saw this coming? How did you both think you were suddenly going to pay for stuff if he dropped 40k a year?

anyway, homeschooling doesn’t have to be all day every day sitting at a desk. How old is the kid? He could do self guided work. No reason your husband has to sit over his shoulder every second.

Also, he could get his job back and pay for online school (at least part time) so his son has some structured lessons if that’s what he wants?

or he could work evenings and weekends? This all sounds a bit like he’s got the dad guilt because his son is struggling and the ex wife has thought woohoo I can get off Scott free here. Nope. Assuming the kid doesn’t need literal 24/7 supervision, Get dh back to work. Get the kid some regular classes and some regular online classes.

you can’t have your kids going hungry because he wants to play supertutor. We all want to give our kids the best education but food and provisions come first (for all kids, not just his kid)

There's also a difference between school being unable to cope with the child, and the child being unable to cope with school.

I understand it depends on where you live and some people have to really fight to get their children suitable provision - but it's not always the case.

My grandson (7) got a EHCP/a specialist school place/diagnosis all within his first year in primary! (In that order...he was registered at ms but trialled a specialist school which became his permanent placement once he was diagnosed)

I realise from reading these posts he was really fortunate - but I'd hate for parents to be put off pursuing support because they assume they won't be entitled/it'll be a unending slog. My DD didn't have to fight at all. He went from not being able to complete a full hour in MS to never having a day off in specialist, he loves it - the difference is immense!

It's really shit that it's a postcode lottery and some kids aren't given the support my DGS has - the right placement really makes a huge difference.

If your DSS has only experienced mainstream op I wouldn't write off school just yet.

Well done to him for homeschooling. His son will greatly benefit from being homeschooled.

But he needs to pick up some work, Obviously routine is important to his son. But could he homeschool up until 1 or 2 and look for a part time job from 3 to 8 or 9 even a couple of days a week and maybe do a full day at the weekend.

What financial arrangements do Mum and Dad have? And where does DSS live…does he live with you during the school week?

Your dp clearly has his son more and does more with him- he needs to claim the carers allowance, he could probably get a part time job too. I would talk to him about this- if he would rather avoid a difficult discussion with his ex than have food for your dc then I’d tell him that kills my support for him.
yoi can start another thread about how to claim the carers etc off her.

And of course the parents can end up being fined and threatened with court if they don't deregister the child.

It doubt it ever is for most families.

If the child has an EHCP and the local authority agree/admit the school is unsuitable then they'd have to put something else in place.
But it can mean very determined parents put in months or years of fighting to get to that point.
More often what happens is the child refuses to go to school and one parent's attendance at work is impacted severely enough that they lose their job. Or the child is left to their own devices at home.

Do you claim DLA for son and caters allowance?

Says in OP he’s 10

Couldn't edit my last post, my son got an EHCP, and he hadn't even been diagnosed yet

My son got his EHCP, and then got into a special school in 2020

Is the mum the residential parent?
Does she work?

I don’t understand why he gave up his FT job.

Surely the mum could have home schooled or they could have done 50/50 homeschooling.

DP could have kept working and taught him on weekends and evenings or gone to part time at spent the other days home schooling.

It’s commendable that DP has done this but it’s not sustainable and I wonder if it was a rushed decision, as I feel like there could have been a better solution.

I don’t have any experience in this area but what happens when parents can’t give up their job to homeschool, does the child just have to go to an unsuitable school or would the local authority then be forced into putting something in place? I just know in your situation I wouldn’t be very impressed with DH giving up work to do all of the homeschooling and the mum doing nothing, even if she’s not teaching him she could be looking after him for half the week so your DH could work part time.

That last sentence is the most horrible thing I’ve heard for ages. So sorry. My mum has done the same with my bro and its the most selfless and impressive thing i have ever seen!

Why are people assuming this child can get an EHCP and will straight away get in to a special school? It very rarely works like that.
Your DP needs to claim DLA for his DS as current setup is ridiculous. You don't say how much you earn but if your DP was getting the benefits and claiming UC you probably wouldn't be struggling.
If for whatever reason he won't/can't claim then the three adults need to sit down and work out a new solution.

Look into EOTAS if an EHCP / special school isn’t an option. The Local authority would then have to cover all schooling costs outside a school setting.

If your dh wasn’t home-schooling, would your stepson be entitled to tuition?

My dc used to do 2 hours a day in a library with a tutor and when that didn’t work out, the tutor came to the house. It’s not an ideal situation as the parent still needs to be in the house but it might be a stepping stone to getting back into education. There was also an agency who used to take my dc out after the tuition for a few hours and they would concentrate on social skills. (This was all arranged by the local authority.) My dc did get a placement in a special school eventually but they were out of school for two years until somewhere suitable was found.

I think you all need to look at this as a short-term solution only.

It really does not seem life this is an affordable option

So was I. Don't regret it, but it does have knock on effects in income and pension etc.

Help DS get education NOW will benefit whole family later.

Are you getting disability allowance for child?

It might also be useful to join your local home ed group if you haven't already, and ask other local parents what they're doing for work and childcare.

Very few home educating families can afford to have one completely SAHP unfortunately.

40k? Did you guys not have any savings?

Could your DP find an evening or weekend job?

Would your DS be able to cope with a childminder setting or home ed club for a day or two a week?