Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To worry that he cant *come*?

60 replies

5599katherine · 23/11/2024 12:59

I have been seeing someone for a while and often during sex he does not finish.
Sometimes, he loses the mood halfway through and its quite dissapointing.
He smokes, smokes weed and is quite unhealthy. I noticed when he takes a break from the weed especially, he can come.
I am in my 30s and want a family...I have tried to talk about it with him but he refuses to acknowledge it. Sometimes he says he has come, but he is lying!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
MissScarletInTheBallroom · 24/11/2024 06:51

LittleRedRidingHoody · 23/11/2024 13:01

The lying and smoking would be red flags for me. Throw this one back OP.

Show quote history

First reply nailed it.

Dotto · 24/11/2024 06:49

Other possible explanation is antidepressants, but an unhealthy addict isn't a good prospect anyway.

LS11ER · 24/11/2024 03:33

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

JMSA · 24/11/2024 03:32

OP, with respect, you are going to have to rethink this. The unhealthy aspect aside, your self-confidence is going to plummet over time due to his sexual issues.
You and your future child really deserve better than this.

JMSA · 24/11/2024 03:30

Finnulafishface · 23/11/2024 13:04

Shove this in the relationship or sex topic - I don’t want to have to imagine your dead beat boyfriend not being able to finish off!

Wow, what a bitch.

pilates · 24/11/2024 03:29

From what you have described I would not want him as my baby’s father. Please rethink this.

Dillydollydingdong · 24/11/2024 03:04

You should choose very carefully the man you want to be the father of your children. A smoker damaged his own health, but more importantly he damages his children's health (physical and mental) as well.

Robinredd · 24/11/2024 02:44

Finnulafishface · 23/11/2024 13:04

Shove this in the relationship or sex topic - I don’t want to have to imagine your dead beat boyfriend not being able to finish off!

You clicked into the thread. It was very clear what it was about. You can hardly blame the OP. 🙄

MarchionessVonSausage · 24/11/2024 02:40

I don't think the weed is necessarily causing this particular problem, although of course it causes other problems in itself.

My ex and I both smoked weed for years, then gave it up and were together for several more years. No difference in our sex life that I could tell.

Whattodo2024 · 23/11/2024 18:37

YABU to date him and want kids with him!

SleepToad · 23/11/2024 18:36

LlynTegid · 23/11/2024 17:23

Are you happy to condone a trade that sees young black men stabbed, and incentivises the gangs who traffic people in small boats across the Channel. Do you hate Mexicans?

That's what in effect you are doing if you continue a relationship with such a man.

Wow young black men stabbed...in the 1980s my mate, young white man was also stabbed over a weed deal..yep murdered for £8 of shite!

See drugs ain't racist...they are an equal opportunities life fuck up

Cosmosforbreakfast · 23/11/2024 18:31

Don't waste your time on a druggie OP. Money for weed will always be the priority, not you, not a child. You can do better. Dump him, raise your bar way higher and move on. Plenty of decent men out there.

GroovyChick87 · 23/11/2024 18:24

Moonmelodies · 23/11/2024 15:43

To be fair a lot of women also struggle to orgasm.

That's not really comparable. A man needs to perform sexually and be able to orgasm 1: To give satisfaction to his partner and 2: To reproduce.

WhatTheFudges · 23/11/2024 18:19

Get your standards out the bin!

You want a stoner for the father of your child…..what are you thinking?!! I feel sorry for the kid already.

Sprogonthetyne · 23/11/2024 18:05

Is a impotent weed smoker who lies to you and isn't capable of having a sensible discussion about things like this really the person you want to start a family with?

ToBeOrNotToBee · 23/11/2024 17:57

Let the Natural Selection do its thing here.
Smoking tobacco and drugs isn't exactly prime fatherhood material, let alone partner material.

FuckILookLike · 23/11/2024 17:49

Finnulafishface · 23/11/2024 13:04

Shove this in the relationship or sex topic - I don’t want to have to imagine your dead beat boyfriend not being able to finish off!

Did you not see the title before you clicked on the thread? Extremely rude and unnecessary comment. Even if it was posted on the relationships board, it can still come up on your homepage anyway!

Snugglemonkey · 23/11/2024 17:46

Finnulafishface · 23/11/2024 13:04

Shove this in the relationship or sex topic - I don’t want to have to imagine your dead beat boyfriend not being able to finish off!

What a horrible response!

Ihopeithinkiknow · 23/11/2024 17:27

LlynTegid · 23/11/2024 17:23

Are you happy to condone a trade that sees young black men stabbed, and incentivises the gangs who traffic people in small boats across the Channel. Do you hate Mexicans?

That's what in effect you are doing if you continue a relationship with such a man.

Well at least you aren't overreacting

LlynTegid · 23/11/2024 17:23

Are you happy to condone a trade that sees young black men stabbed, and incentivises the gangs who traffic people in small boats across the Channel. Do you hate Mexicans?

That's what in effect you are doing if you continue a relationship with such a man.

autumn1610 · 23/11/2024 17:17

Can he come in any other ways and just not PIV like oral or hands or is it totally he does not come? I was seeing a weed smoker/smoker (the horror!) and he didn’t struggle with other ways just PIV

Hateam · 23/11/2024 16:54

Don't have children with a man who smokes weed.

unsync · 23/11/2024 16:52

This man is not father material. What kind of childhood do you picture for your future kids? Drop him into that picture, puffing on a spliff - is that what you had in mind?

Vanadinite · 23/11/2024 16:51

As a man, I’ve experienced this..
Non smoker, fit & healthy, certainly no porn addict.. I can just take a very long time to reach orgasm, sometimes not at all, during sex.
I confess I have faked once before as a partner was upset that I hadn’t and I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.
For me it’s not an issue; I love the intimacy of making love and seeing the pleasure of my partner is the biggest turn on and genuinely makes me happy.
If I ‘see to myself’ in the shower afterwards, it’s all good!

SmallChanges01 · 23/11/2024 16:36

The smell of the weed! It reeks on the person and in the whole house!

Swipe left for the next trending thread