AIBU to think my mum is controlling with me and my son?

You don't need a Dr every time a child has a temperature.

Scary stuff. She shouldn't behave like this and you shouldn't allow her to. It must be very hard having to rely on someone who over rides your feelings like this. Could you somehow extend your support network?

Completely unacceptable, shocking actually.

Your son is still a baby at just one years old. If he's even the tiniest bit below par what he needs most in the world is his mum, and that over-rides anything, including any plans your mother may have made.

Keep your cool while you tell your mum your son needs his mum and if she continues to block your access to him you will call the Police. Find the number so you have it ready (don't call 999) and dial it immediately if it looks like your mum isn't listening. If she can hear the call through the door where she is holding your baby, so much the better. Keep calm throughout, even if she starts raving.

Then take your baby home and re-think your plans for future childcare.

Oh wow, your mum is so out of order on this.

On another note, the baby is ONE. They don't give a crap (pardon language) about seeing other children at this age! They just want to be with their mums.
If the other child is 1-2 years old, they won't even notice a cancelled play date.

This was all about what your own mum wants and she had no concern for the baby.

Awful!

No, this is all kinds of wrong, OP, you need to stand up to her and put her in her place — YOU are the mother here. It can be really difficult to recognise controlling/abusive/bullying behaviour when it’s your own mum (it took me four decades)

Even though she does a lot for us I really think that she tries to take over my parenting and it’s really concerning to me.

It’s easy for boundaries to get blurred when a grandparent is heavily involved but it’s up to you to assert yourself. You’re 27 and you don’t live at home. No one should be stopping you from leaving with your child.

I had similar issues when my son was born. Mum was VERY assertive and insisted she knew best after all "it never did you (me) any harm!".

I learned very quickly to install firm boundaries. No, I was not going to give him formula, no he was not getting solid food before 6 months old..... etc. It was painful to begin with but eventually she learned not to bother trying to push her ideas on to me.

“I’ve tried to get into the room to get my son and she’s blocked the door.”

This is outrageous. YOU are the parent; you decide what’s best for your child. I wouldn’t be going round there for a bit, and when she asks why, tell that you don’t appreciate having your son who has a temperature kidnapped and taken in spite of your wishes to a play date just because she wants him to go. She will accuse you of being unreasonable, but you are the parent, and you decide what is in your son’s best interests. You really need to address this now, otherwise it will happen again. You have the whip hand: he’s your son, and if your mother wants to see him, she is jolly well going to have to learn that it’s on your terms.

Definitely start setting boundaries with her. She is helping you but she can’t dictate to you when it comes to your son.

This would be the first and last time she blocked me from my child if I were you. Get your child when she comes out of the room, take him home and get firm boundaries in place with your mother. This is outrageous behaviour from her.

This is awful, go and get him back! Completely inappropriate on so many levels, you need to draw a firm boundary and seriously consider whether it is appropriate for her to be involved at all.

She shouldn't be blocking you from your son. That goes beyond controlling. However much she helps, this behaviour is unhealthy and deeply wrong. The only circumstances to intervene between a mother and child like that would be if he were in danger. Absolutely no excuse or justification otherwise. She is also making a very bad choice that puts her wishes ahead of your sons wellbeing. This is not a good dynamic.

Which medicine did you give him?
And why have you not taken him to the doctor if he has a fever?
He should not be going to a playdate with a fever. End of.

My parents do a lot for me but it doesn't mean that they can disregard my feelings and parenting. I let a lot go but I will call them out if they have done something I don't agree with.

Just because she helps you out a lot it doesn't mean she can take your ill child against your wishes and block access. Go and get your child right now and tell your mum she will not treat you like a child

That's terrible OP. Do you need so much help from her? I would try and back off and see less of her. She is acting like your child's parent. Blocking the door so you couldn't get to your son is abusive. You are his mum and if you have concerns about him being too unwell to go out, your mum should comply with your wishes. I'm sure her friend will be delighted if your son passes his illness onto her child.

That is hugely unreasonable, absolutely need to draw a really firm clear boundary that when it comes to your child's health and wellbeing YOU call the shots.

It sounds like you might need to build a support network outside of your mum, as if it's got to this stage she's gotten used to taking the reins.

How is your son now?

Sorry, there's not a chance that any other adult would be blocking me from my child, unwell or otherwise.

A one year old child who is feeling poorly should not be out and about, potentially risking making other children unwell too.

Your mum needs to step back massively. Not her baby, not her call. She sounds like a bully.

That sounds absolutely awful. You must assert yourself as the child’s parent. Grandparent must back off