He's p*ssed on the bedroom floor

I'm so sorry you're going through this. But, what an absolute loser he is!! Waste of space - I would be furious and simply wouldn't tolerate this disgusting behaviour. Get the party out of the way, then think about whether you want to live like this.

Who are the 2% of people who say you're unreasonable????

I'd honestly show him this thread and all the replies

I couldn’t get over the drink-driving and that would be the end of the relationship for me. He’s lucky he didn’t kill someone.

I’m so sorry OP, that’s just awful. Get through the day as best you can and then make plans for your next move tomorrow. No one should be treated like this.

My first DH was an alcoholic. He often got so drunk he didn't know what he was doing, although thankfully wasn't a driver. One of the abiding memories I have is him sitting on the edge of the bath and defecating into it because he was so drunk he thought it was the toilet.
I left him because of his drinking.

Your DP obviously has a drink problem. I think the pp who suggested help lines like Al anon was very helpful. But given what you have said about his misogynistic attitude and his contempt for you I do wonder if your relationship is worth saving.

I hope today goes as well as it can do for your birthday boy and yourself. And your DP doesn't find another way to spoil things.

Then it's thinking about the future time OP. Best wishes to you.

The pissing on the floor grim but I could maybe get over it as a one off.

The drink driving , dealbreaker for me. My friend was hit by a drunk driver, fortunately survived but lost both her legs.

OMG I am so sorry

Just to add that you sound like an amazing devoted Mum doing all that you can (new job, getting up early to do the food shop so that you can spend extra time with your DS (personally I would have a lie in though and make DH walk to the shops or order food in). If you need to go it alone, you will make it work.

Whats his drinking like normally? Does he have form for this?

This and the life children have to witness, op do you honestly think this is healthy?

I feel so sorry for you op. You clearly are such a fantastic mum and want your son to have the best day. You are now going to have him and being very tired hanging over your son's day. It sounds like you deserve much better.

Sorry dont know why my post has gone on this thread🥴dont know what I'm doing

My ex pissed on my baby's cot when I was 38 weeks pregnant and all the clothes. I stayed another miserable 10 years. Things didn't get better.

He sounds hideous, but the drunk driving is absolutely unforgivable and I would report him for that. Too many innocent people are killed by selfish bastards like him and he will do it again unless he faces some consequences.

Just to give a different perspective

My DH has never driven drunk. Hard no on that. I am not commenting on the abdicating his responsibilities either.

However - He did pee on the floor in a corner once. It was 24 years ago and the carpet was new. He tried to clean it up with toilet roll but he was too drunk to think straight. He was very embarrassed the next day and cleaned up properly. 24 years later he isn't an alcoholic and he rarely drinks to excess (3 or 4 cans on a Friday or Saturday night). I think the weeing incident was actually a bit of a turning point in his relationship with alcohol. So the weeing in its own is disgusting but not inevitably a sign that he is going to become a shuffling alcoholic.

That's really awful. If it was an absolute one off and he is mortified today and tries so hard for a very long time, and was an otherwise good partner and Dad, then I could probably just about move on from that. However, he knew that it was your son's birthday before even going to the pub. The drink driving in unforgivable. That would make it much harder to get over. The woman's work aspect doesn't endear him does it. So, combined together, I don't think that i could get passed this, even if he was prepared to significantly change. I think that you would be better off without him.

I had a father who would drink too much and occasionally piss everywhere and be sick and as a teenager I would clean up after him. You definitely don't want your kids becoming aware of that sort of behaviour. You need to think about them too.

You really need your own thread for this.

Report him for drunk driving this morning. He’s likely still over the limit.

At first I thought the pissing on the floor was going to be the main point of the thread, and I was already disgusted and raging on your behalf. But with the rest of the revelations… wow! Get the hell out of there!

The absolute shit that women tolerate to be in a relationship bewilders me.

You don't have to put up with this, there are men around who don't treat their partners in this fashion. You deserve much better

Oh and I've conbutied to bills over years he's not paid them all

The driving would be the end of the road for me. But ‘mum job’ ? What a twat

Are you okay @Girlmath?