He's p*ssed on the bedroom floor

Fuck.that.You sound like you are doing everything. Honestly? Id seriously consider going it alone. You might as well carry on doing everything, but just for you and your children.One less set of clothes to wash, one less person's mess to clean up. One less meal to cook.

What's he bringing to your life except stress.

Attempting to make you feel bad because you're "in a mood" because he's pissed all over the bedroom and drove home drunk is so far beyond unreasonable behaviour, I don't even know what to say.

You've got one life to live, is this the life you want?

Well he doesn’t love you OP. Obviously.

I hope you have a lovely birthday with your son 🌟🌟🌟

I literally cant understand people on here saying " I would forgive the weeing if it was a one off". Like, what? I can sort of understand someone being very drunk and weeing the bed, once, then feeling mortified, cleaning after themselves and never doing it again - but this was deliberate? He was not that drunk if he managed to get home, helped with balloons and then even tried to mop up the piss afterwards. He made a decision to piss on the floor, same as he is made a decision to drive home while drunk.

Get him out.

Wow, the whole thing just gets worse as you read it. And now here you are rushing out early this morning on no sleep as he hasn't helped at all. I couldn't be with a man like this. He obviously brings zero to the table.

Drunk driving is an abomination.The rest of the behaviour is deplorable. If this is a one off there may be ways to salvage this relationship. If not it might be time to consider whether you want him in your life.

It's the drink driving that is the worst part of this . Tell him that next time you will report him and if he goes out drinking again he leaves his car keys at home and uses public transport. This is a deal breaker . Make him grovel at your feet for what he had done .

Mine pissed in the corner of the bedroom while I was pregnant. I slept on the living room floor.

One Christmas Eve he went out with work mates. I struggled bringing bikes down out of the roof space. Finally rolled home in the wee small hours of Christmas morning.

so sorry, OP. I feel for you 😢

It strikes me that you're concerned about him 'ruining the day' for you and your children when the reality is he's 'ruining your lives' with his behaviour.

I'd be showing him the door with his misogynistic, useless, man-child behaviour.

It starts young tho! Ds then 4 got out of bed in eurocamp caravan, could find loo ans pissed on dh in bed.

Yes only a child. But my female child has never done this!

You are absolutely right to be so pissed off at Him

YANBU at all

You have nothing to be embarrassed about. You didn’t drink drive or piss the floor.

Don’t keep his secrets for him

That's bad. It would be bad enough on hard floor but carpet is awful to clean up. I would be a little more sympathetic if he was in a hotel or something and was a bit disoriented, but there's no excuse at home.

That made me laugh sorry.
Another one here whose dh has done this but not foe many years now.

Exactly. I had an acquaintance whose partner would sleep in the bath after a night out because he always got too drunk and always peed himself. She went on to have a baby with him (possibly more by now), and I couldn't help but think she would then have 2 babies to look after, including him!
DP has been sick once after having a bit too much, and I helped him clean up. He has done it for me once as well, but we didn't let ourselves get into such a state again, the wasted day feeling rubbish afterwards was enough to put us off!

You need to call a serious at the kitchen table talk with him and tell him everything and if that doesn’t work , leave him!

Gross.

How can you stand to be in a relationship with someone as gross, nasty and selfish as that.

As others have said you need to do some serious thinking once the birthday is over

@MyrtleStrumpet if this is not his rock bottom, he has further to go, do you want to follow him down there?

Very wise words there.

@Girlmath No wonder you needed to vent! So wrong on so many levels.

I remember my ex said once “What have we got my sister?”. That’s his sister. For Xmas. On 24 December. It was the ‘we’ that had me laughing hysterically.

He also didn’t even do stuff when I asked him. Not that I should have had to. He was an adult. But just didn’t do it. Never said he wouldn’t. Never let me know he hadn’t got round to it or might struggle to get it done. Just didn’t do it. With no communication. Like your DP with the shopping.

Needless to say he’s my ex. And he never drunk drove, pissed on the bedroom floor or told me things were for mums to do.

You need to have a serious chat with your DP. Starting with why he doesn’t seem to believe parents have to take responsibility. Both parents. Sounds like he has a lot of work to do on himself.

This! ⬆️

@Girlmath
You sound like a lovely mum. From your posts you've been up most of the night and upset and getting up at the crack of dawn to make up for the things he hasn't done so that your boy can have a good birthday.

Just focus on getting through the day and enjoying your lovely son and his birthday. Those things are the most important in the long run.

There's quite an angry tone in some of these posts, but I just wanted to say its not directed at you. Of course you cleaned up - who could sleep with pee sinking into the carpet.
I think he's really shown you who he is, it seems to be a universal thing that people do things like this at important times in our lives, times which should be a celebration... birthdays and Christmas... those days seem to bring it all to a head, although as you are probably taking stock of it now, its been there for a while, but life is busy and we carry on with the day to day chores.
It sounds like you have a big family and you have your lovely son who will all be with you today. I agree with pp who said leave the useless twit at home to clear up and enjoy spending your time today with those who are important to you.
Everything else can wait for another day.

It must be like having some kind of farm animal in the house. I couldnt live with a man like this.

He disgusting and YANBU! I'd be furious.

I'm divorced now (I divorced him) but stupidly put up with this nonsense for bloody years: multiple events ruined by him, me scrambling to try and sort childcare (I was the breadwinner) after he went AWOL etc. I tried everything to get XH help etc, but none of it worked. I even chucked him out one Xmas Eve after he went AWOL and then came back paralytic. Stupidly, even after all of the crap, I still thought that if we separated, then he'd have the space to get sober/clean and we could work on marriage. By that point he had also found an OW. Don't be me: I should have LTB about 5yrs before. It was actually a thread on here that made me realise that I could actually leave/end things/put in stricter boundaries (hence me throwing him out on Xmas Eve). I quietly watched it for months whilst I got my shit together (and my head together!).

Make your plans on the quiet, diarise all the nonsense he has pulled/is pulling and then LTB. I've been single ever since. XH doesn't have the DC (or pay for them - he's too unreliable for work), and I may be skint...but I wouldn't change one bit of my current life. It's bloody amazing and so peaceful. No disgusting, abusive, drunk man about to make our lives hell and cause nonstop chaos; no worrying about having to clear up trashed rooms after he wrecked them when drunk. No worrying about whether I'll get disciplined at work because of being late/having to dash home because he's pissed and can't look after the kids. It's bloody wonderful :)

Wishing your son a happy birthday.

I am so sorry you cleaned up after a grown drunken man piss. With everything you have said I don't see how things could get much worse tbh. He has shown he will literally piss everywhere and do as he pleases. Using his son as guarantee for your reasonable compliance.

Try and enjoy your son birthday. When your ready think long and hard on if you ever want to risk experiencing this again. Xx

I don’t understand why you are still with this person. You know you don’t get to re-do your life and your children will never be this age again, don’t let him continue to ruin special moments like this.