He's p*ssed on the bedroom floor

Sounds like a charming man. There must have been signs that he was a dickhead before tonight tho.
Not sure why you put up with such revolting behaviour

If it's your house, I would kick him out, peeing on the carpet & drink driving show you what kind of person he really is. The not helping & attitude stink.

What in the hell did I just read!

Firstly, he's clearly an alcoholic. The only men who do this or piss the bed, are alcoholics.

Secondly, it would be over for me the second I realised he drove drunk. Done. Game over. Do not pass go. Do not collect 300 quid. He's be out on his arse.

Thirdly, he treats you with contempt. He sees you as a maid and nanny.

Get rid. Tell him to leave first thing.
Or, take your child, go to your parents for the day and tell him to be gone when you get back.

Don't let him use the birthday as an excuse. Just tell your son he had to work or something.

Seriously, get rid of the scumball.

He has absolutely no respect for you or the family, think about whether this is really good enough for you

Or her daughter thinking that is how men should behave

When his family come over, I would be absolutely clear with them about what he did. Ask his mother for tips on cleaning urine out of carpets and whether or not he did it when he was younger?

His behaviour is absolutely vile. You should not be with this man. It sounds like he cannot be relied on and he is a terrible example to your children. You do not want them to grow up thinking this behaviour is normal or okay.

Stay with this guy and you run the risk that one day your lovely birthday boy will be just like him.
Do better by him OP.

I hope despite everything you manage to enjoy the day, I'm sure your son will because you sound like a great mum. It's not fair that the celebratory lovely bits are being taken from you by this passenger twat.

Hours later I'm just laying here fuming and it's just dawned on me he drove home.It's just like he has zero respect for me
He doesn't have any respect for human life at all if he can do this. Him getting to drink is more important then not killing someone. He could also have killed himself on the eve of your DS birthday. It is way beyond selfish and annoying. I hope manages to behave like an adult and doesn't spoil DS birthday. After that I'd be seriously reconsidering this relationship.

Can you get a tesco woosh delivery? Get the basics for a dinner so you don't have to go out? You will be exhausted, turning this over in your mind and unable to sleep will be so mentally draining. OP he sounds terrible 😔

How could you bear to ever have sex with him again?

Aaah @Girlmath
Try to get some rest now, and enjoy your day with your boy.
Do some thinking over the weekend about how you and your son want to spend the rest of your lives.
Would you want this disgusting creature to be a role model for your son?
You're both worth more than that.
So do some very hard thinking about your future.
Sending a virtual handhold x

Happy Birthday to your darling boy!
🥳🎂🎁🎉🎈

What a prince amongst men
Drink driving is unacceptable I would report him if I were you, you know which pub he was at, he will be on their CCTV and on the road cameras.
The rest of his behaviour is utterly vile.

I note this is a DP not a DH. I am wondering if this is because he doesn’t want to be financially tied to you because that would mean sharing money in the case of divorce. In any case, there doesn’t seem to be very much care and respect from him, especially as he’s going to punish you for being in a mood with him (wtf) when he’s behaved like a pig.

I’m so sorry OP, he’s really really awful. But y’know what when you get rid of him you will have less work to do and the resentment of doing it all will dampen because the useless lump who should be contributing isn’t squatting like a toad in your house.

You and your kids deserve much more than this, you don’t have to live like this, the mood in your home will also lift.

He drove home like that? Irresponsible, selfish, reckless fool.
As for whether he “did it on purpose” because he knows you won’t kick off today? Probably. He knows you won’t let anything spoil your son’s birthday so feels he can do whatever he wants. What a prince!
Honestly op, he doesn’t sound like a partner, he sounds like a spoiled child.

I would be waking him up at 6am and telling him to get his arse to the supermarket, sort out a carpet cleaner and buy you some new slippers. If he even makes a murmur of a moan about any of it, I would tell him that since he is such a massive dickhead, you and all the visiting family are going out for lunch for your sons birthday, while he stays at home and cleans up his revolting mess. And he is paying.

I would get through today then have a very serious think about the future.

He's shown you how super efficient you are by him being completely useless.

He causes you extra work and is repulsive.

Enjoy your sons birthday and then have the talk with him that he's dumped.

Get some sleep now op. This can all be sorted outt after ds birthday. Come back and get some support 💐

He is an alcoholic op.
There is no way I could live with someone like this. He does not care for you, or his son and has no respect for anyone.

Get through today fior ds. Dh can shampoo the carpet when he wakes up. Boil wash his own clothes and buy you some new slippers.

Then on Monday get some legal advice. Start preparing to separate - you would feel a million times better without him op. Your children should not be growing up around this.

The driving drunk absolutely infuriates me and I couldn't stand to even associate with someone that would do that, let alone have a relationship with them. It's beyond disgusting and unforgivable.

The rest is also vile, peeing on the floor, how utterly grim.

Even before he went out, the way he treats you sounds awful. Hopefully this has been the wake up call that you need that you and your children deserve better.

LTB.

But he has some good qualities I'm sure?

Awake as overworked and thinking about money/Christmas as a single parent. I 1 million % would rather be in my position than yours! Awful behaviour and yeah the fact he could have killed someone or himself. He has no respect for himself, you or the children. I would get yourself out of that relationship. I'm sure you don't want to live the rest of your life this way. I hope you have a nice birthday weekend and get sorted. Congratulations on your new job

Why the fuck is it always men who piss on the floor and act like animals?? I have never read of a woman doing this especially leaving a man to sort out all the birthday stuff while she went out and got rat arsed!
Sure, there are some shit mothers out there but THIS never seems to happen!

I'd be raging too OP! Hope you manage to make a good day of it and hope your twat of a husband is sincerely apologetic! If he isn't then you have an answer!

@Ponderingwindow OP has explained why she has cleaned up.

OP I'm not surprised you're fuming.
He is an arsehole.