He's p*ssed on the bedroom floor

He's awful. No doubt he also consider scrubbing his piss off the floor a woman's job and he's probably not even sorry for his behaviour.

Drink driving would be a dealbreaker for me. I feel like once someone's crossed that line, they'll keep doing it. Depending on the age of your kids, I would speak to them about how they never get in the car when the driver has been drinking alcohol (including Dad).

I hope you manage to have a nice day for your son with the rest of your family.

That he drove home like that gives me the absolute chills, OP. The rest of it is horrendous enough that I would be telling you to get rid of him, but the kind of person who would do that is a dangerous liability in general. I'd be so tempted to report him, though obviously it wouldn't necessarily help your current situation!

So sorry: I really hope you have RL support.

Hi just after some advice leaving partner after 25+ years his house as I couldn't get on mortgage as had bad credit back then buying things on catalogues for my baby and house he wouldn't let me work until my youngest went to school as he didn't want them I child care so 7 yrs then I privately house cleaned as had to be there for school drop off and pick ups he never took time off to be with us in holidays he keep all child tax credits and working tax credits I just got child benefit and I bought everything for children growing up clothes/ shoes he's got 7 yrs left on mortgage and was 36000when he bought it now worth 128000 but refusing to give me anything everything in house is mine as bought and paid for by me need some advice don't want have the house but not leaving without anything both kids have grown up ace thanks to me as son said the other day!!!!!

Firstly I hope your son has a wonderful birthday and you manage to enjoy all your hard work.

Secondly your DH is a disgrace. I could not be with such a useless, misogynist and drunken pig.

I truly hope your new job enables you some financial independence, enough for you to move on and enjoy your life.

I'll tell you this, I'm a lone parent, my life is lovely and peaceful! Yes, sometimes hard and crazy but rather this than a life with a revolting man in it.

[Stared blankly at thread]

OP why are you with an inconsiderate, drunken drink driving criminal misogynist?

Seriously why?

The fact he pissed on the floor, expected it to be your problem and then you cleaned it up is testament to how he views you. Your his skivvy doing “mum jobs” whilst he goes off to have his fun risking the lives of other

I don’t normally go down the LTB route but this is a last straw if ever I heard one. LTB

This , @Girlmath .
A fine young Uni Student was killed because two foul drunk women were racing neck and neck- they ploughed into him as he was delivering pizzas at night to earn money for his course.

They were unrepentant and left him to die, one abandoning the car.

A friend of mine heard the crash and went to investigate, and called the Emergency services, but the poor boy didn't make it.

Drink/drug driving is inexcusable.

Your other half has a serious problem. If he is doing this now, what is he going to do in the future. Any man with respect for his family and home and, indeed, himself is not going to behave like this? And, it will only get worse. You need to read him the riot act and start to take a long, clear, cold look at your future. Are you really happy and feel you are worth clearing up the mess of some drunk bloke who does not respect you or yours? You spend your days trying to hold together a home, family, cook food, clean, etc and this is how you are repaid. You really need to take a look at your needs from now on and those of your children.

OP, has he always been like this?

In the gentlest, and kindest possible way (which NEVER comes across over a keyboard) you have an abusive marriage.
Abuse isn’t just physical violence. Some of the most damaging abuse comes from emotional and mental abuse-and this is what I’m reading in your post.
Just setting aside everything else for a moment, the pissing on the floor and the drink driving (when he was clearly too drunk to even walk straight) are both completely unforgivable. I’m not exaggerating when I say I would be heading immediately for the divorce courts-I have zero tolerance for any kind of abuse (I was in a very abusive relationship before I met my DH and it’s hardened me so much that I won’t tolerate so much as a filthy look)

You and your DC deserve so much better OP. So much better

Sounds like this literal pisshead isn't the father of your son- That's good- kick the pisser and drunk~ driver out of your home.
Hope your son has a lovely birthday. 🎁 🎉 🎂

Such an awful situation to be in - he sounds really hideous.
depending on how you feel and want to tackle it - you could either suck it up today for sake of kids then later in week have a private chat with him and calmly without emotion tell him if he behaves so neglectfully again you will leave him. For this to work - he really has to believe he’s crossed a line so you will need to be prepared and icy cool etc.

OR you could start cheerfully calling it out today. Leave the mess in the bedroom, and aay “you’ll never guess what DP did last night, he peed all over the floor.. “ ; don't make the food, go somewhere with your kids today and spend time with them, and leave it to him to sort out and prep, or order takeaway. This approach needs to be done quite cheerfully, assumptively and matter of fact. “oh I thought we agreed you were doing xyz” Leave him to scramble and absolutely face the consequences - don’t cover for him and save him.
HOwever - which kind of path you follow to solve it/ get your point across - really depends on your personality and what you can cope with but I hope you can find the strength to do something as you don’t deserve this. It’s truly disrespectful behaviour - to you, your kids, your family and friends, and society - and I hope you can find the strength to address it with the best outcome for you xx

Have you chucked a bucket of cold water over him yet?

He's a poor excuse for a man. Leave. It is only going to get worse as time goes by.

He drove while dangerously over the limit.

He could have killed an innocent person/people.

Vile arsehole.

Pissing on the carpet is gross.

He's vile.

Is he the father of the children?

You need to kick him out. You need to get him tp buy another carpet {or flooring} before he goes.

Nothing constructive to add that hasn’t already been said, but sending some love. I hope you manager to have a brilliant day with the kids x

What on earth is attractive about men like this??? Did he pee on the floor on your wedding night?

Please value your own self worth and leave. Your life will be less stressful without him.

If he definitely drove home, I'd have to leave him for that alone.

Alcoholics behave like this- staying longer in the pub than promised, letting people down, drinking so much that they pee in the wardrobe or wherever.

I hope you and your dc have a nice day today and that he is sick as a dog.

I would also be hiding the car keys.

This!

Enjoy your little boys birthday but seriously you need to think about the future with this misogynistic, arrogant, entitled, rude, selfish twat.

I hope he has a hangover from hell and he'll probably try and pull a 'poor me' attitude all day so make sure the kids party is LOUD!!

The drink driving would be enough for me. It shows no respect for you or anyone else. These days it just a matter of time before he is caught and his life gets a whole lot harder (deservedly) and your will too (undeservedly).

Unfortunately he wouldn't be prosecuted for it that way. It's too late. He has to be caught at the time or shortly after.

OP I hope you manage to have a nice day with your son. Take some time after today to have a think about your relationship.

I'm very sorry to read about your awful night with him.

Is there any chance he got a lift home or a cab? It doesn't mitigate the rest, though.

Thoughts with you today. Strength for you and your son - you two are the priority right now.

You have my sympathy op. My husband occasionally did this years ago. He is now a barely functioning alcoholic and it's a frequent event. This kind of selfishness is typical of an alcoholic. I cant remember a Christmas or birthday that hasn't been ruined by his drinking. If you're lucky he will be genuinely sorry for a little while, once he reaches my husbands level, even that disappears. At the moment all his problems are due to my (non existent) menopause. This year might b the year I leave him.

If the old proverb “misery loves company” is true, I’m here to tell you that this situation has happened to me too (and I include the weeing on the floor). In fact a couple of my friends and I regularly lean on each other for emotional support, when it comes to our partners not pulling their weight and letting us down when it comes to important events that we’re hosting.

The way I handle it, is not to let my other half off the hook. At a time that works for me, I let him know exactly what he has done wrong and I also no longer keep it between us. If he’s okay behaving that way, then no need to keep it a secret around our friends and family. He has gotten better over the years, but I’m still doing the lion’s share. I’ve pulled back on doing things for his birthday and leaning back when he wants to organise something. There’s a certain sense of freedom in it, but obviously I would prefer that we lovingly worked as a team and helped each other.

Tell his family, and your family what he did.

Do so calmly so your little one has a good birthday.

I broke up with my first fiance and one of the main reasons was because he would wet the bed when he was drunk. Your husband is also shirking his family responsibilities, ace trading you like a skivvy.

You deserve so much better.