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He's p*ssed on the bedroom floor

359 replies

Girlmath · 23/11/2024 03:41

NC for obvious reasons.
I don't know why I'm even sharing this. I think I need to vent because I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone in person.
It's DS's birthday tomorrow (well, today now). DP went to the pub last night, absolutely no problem with that but I asked him not to be too late home because we still have all the wrapping to do, balloons etc.
Children finally fell asleep quite late because they were excited. I got ready for bed and then waited for DP to return. I waited and waited and it got to 10.30 and I was feeling very pissed off and tired so I thought I'm going to have to do this myself or I don't know what time I'll get to bed. Pretty much done by the time he gets back absolutely stinking of alcohol. I'm annoyed so I put the pressies up and he helps me blow up a couple of balloons. I go to bed.
Hour or so later he wakes me up drunkenly getting out of bed in the dark. Then I hear a funny noise, I turn my lamp on and he then opens the door and goes out to the toilet. It takes me a minute to process what the noise was and I realise it was him having a wee behind the bedroom door. It's everywhere. Stinky beer wee. He staggers back in and starts putting his clothes on top of it to try and blot it up. I just get him in to bed and start the clear up. It's all over the cream carpet, splattered up things and all over one of my slippers - it's drenched. He goes to sleep and I clear up as best I can for tonight, I don't want to wake the children.
I'm raging. Hours later I'm just laying here fuming and it's just dawned on me he drove home.
It's just like he has zero respect for me. I started a new job this week, I'm pretty drained. We have family coming over for dinner for DSs birthday. I asked him to do the food shop and the cooking for this birthday tea as I've done them for both children and him for the past 7 years. He scoffed at me and said 'its a Mum job' then reluctantly agreed. Bus has he done a food shop? Nope! That will be for me to do tomorrow - which I didn't want to do as it will be time away from my DS.
He just doesn't take on any of the mental load of anything. As I was wrapping the presents I thought to myself he has no idea what we've got (aside from the main present which he bought) . He hadn't had to think about them, buy them, hide them or even wrap them.
Has he done this on purpose because he knows I won't want to ruin the day tomorrow and 'be in a mood' as he says.
I'm so upset.

OP posts:
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Letmegohome · 24/11/2024 11:03

@Livingtothefull totally with you on that, as I said before I would report him in a heartbeat for drink driving

Livingtothefull · 24/11/2024 11:02

Letmegohome · 24/11/2024 01:51

@Nanny0gg they didn't read the thread and somehow thinks the op partner is just being a bit of a naughty boy! not a massive knob

Edited

And a criminal actually. Which is what a drunk driver is.

Noras · 24/11/2024 10:35

The worrying thing is the denial and suggesting that actual facts are not true. It’s gaslighting and coercive behaviour which when combined within his other remark is concerning. He is flatly refusing to accept provable facts and then having the audacity to get angry with you. That really is not good.

Wolframandhart · 24/11/2024 09:44

MerryUmberHedgehog · 24/11/2024 00:48

No didn't read it properly but all the same this man is behaving like a big kid

You have very low expectations of men.

Makingchocolatecake · 24/11/2024 09:39

I'd be the most angry that he drove like that.

Can you not take your DS to the shop, even if it is his bday?

Letmegohome · 24/11/2024 01:51

@Nanny0gg they didn't read the thread and somehow thinks the op partner is just being a bit of a naughty boy! not a massive knob

Nanny0gg · 24/11/2024 01:49

MerryUmberHedgehog · 23/11/2024 18:50

Are you mad. Balloons and wrapped presents for an adult. He isn't a kid. Go out on your own for his birthday and leave him to clear up his own mess.

What?

The balloons and presents were for their DC not him

He was supposed to help

Letmegohome · 24/11/2024 00:52

@MerryUmberHedgehog slight understatement there

MerryUmberHedgehog · 24/11/2024 00:48

No didn't read it properly but all the same this man is behaving like a big kid

xogossipgirlxo · 23/11/2024 23:01

This isn’t normal. Pissing on the bedroom floor sounds like an alcoholic would do. It wasn’t one beer. You deserve better. Either single or with someone else.

Letmegohome · 23/11/2024 22:59

@GiveMeSpanakopita I would report him in a heartbeat. Dangerous and selfish

ForsythiaPlease · 23/11/2024 22:52

GiveMeSpanakotia

"To those telling OP to call the police and get his licence taken away, having a husband who can't drive his car for a year will not help OP nor her child."

But it will stop him mowing pedestrians down, crashing into other vehicles and killing people, possibly including his own son.

Letmegohome · 23/11/2024 19:40

Tbh you don't even need to read the whole thread, just the ops words

Letmegohome · 23/11/2024 19:29

@MerryUmberHedgehog read the whole sentence before commenting .
Child ,child's birthday .

paradiseonfire · 23/11/2024 19:24

MerryUmberHedgehog · 23/11/2024 18:50

Are you mad. Balloons and wrapped presents for an adult. He isn't a kid. Go out on your own for his birthday and leave him to clear up his own mess.

It's her son's birthday. Try reading

fetchacloth · 23/11/2024 19:12

Honestly, don't stay with a drunk, your life will be an enduring misery.
And it will get worse.

Wolframandhart · 23/11/2024 19:12

Do not wash his things

Teacherprebaby · 23/11/2024 19:10

How was the birthday?

WiddlinDiddlin · 23/11/2024 18:56

MerryUmberHedgehog · 23/11/2024 18:50

Are you mad. Balloons and wrapped presents for an adult. He isn't a kid. Go out on your own for his birthday and leave him to clear up his own mess.

Did you read the OP's posts. Its for her sons birthday, the balloons and presents are for a child.

@Girlmath Honestly... unless this is a totally out of the blue one off, never happened before, event.. and he realises he's been a prick and admits it...

I'd be planning my exit strategy.

I bet that he will claim you're trying to stop him having fun, you're over reacting, he'll blame the dog for weeing on the floor, make out you're inventing things like him sleep walking and being drunk... and he'll do it again and again and again, and your kids will notice this, and your behaviour in response to it.

It's not good for them, or you.

OneNiftyPoet · 23/11/2024 18:50

Time to see a solicitor.

MerryUmberHedgehog · 23/11/2024 18:50

Are you mad. Balloons and wrapped presents for an adult. He isn't a kid. Go out on your own for his birthday and leave him to clear up his own mess.

Pinkbonbon · 23/11/2024 18:11

Thoughts are with you today op.

I think I'd bare in mind that he left you alone last night and literally says things are 'mums jobs'. And that he spent a bare minimum of 20 quid on booze and- drank and drove! He can't gaslight those things, they're facts. Plus I think you know what drunk him is like and he was like that last night.

He doesn't have a leg to stand on. And to make it all worse, he hasn't apologised and begged forgiveness. He's instead, got angry at you for calling him out.

Is this really someone you want to be married to forever? And before you say 'maybe I could stick it out for the kids sake', know that you'd be doing the child more harm than good raising him to think men should behave this way. And that women will accept it. I'm sure you don't want your son to grow up to be like him.

It's not a stable, loving environment.
Much better to get out and show him one emotionally mature home with a happy mum.
Then he can look at your home and look at his fathers home and say 'I don't want a lifestyle like dad's. It's squalor and people leave you'.

Today, now, this is what your whole life will be with this man. As bad or, worrying about the next time it will be. Think hard on whether or not you want this life because you have the power to choose differently.

GivingitToGod · 23/11/2024 17:59

Anywherebuthere · 23/11/2024 11:00

Gross.

How can you stand to be in a relationship with someone as gross, nasty and selfish as that.

As others have said you need to do some serious thinking once the birthday is over

Not sure what your home and financial situation is OP?
If you decide to separate, you will need legal advice.Getting out isn't as easy as some people portray

DelicateSoundOfEchos · 23/11/2024 17:55

All of that is deal breaker type behaviour for me and I wouldn't accept it. I certainly couldn't love someone who treated me so badly.
He's a twat who doesn't respect you. How dare he even speak to you like that, never mind all the other stuff?!