Should I give inlaws £100 for heating now?

Cause a bit of a scene? Good. Miserly and controlling old twat.

Sitting in a coat on the sofa with a hot water bottle is not an aspirational situation.

How is that possible? Or do you mean you pay £300 every month as an average of less in summer, more in winter? Even that would be a lot if you're being careful.
And in the south, where it's usually some degrees milder than where I live.

Crikey. Why does he think the tax payer should pay him heating benefits? Funny how the tories called benefits "allowances" when it was to a demographic they wanted to suck up to, while they were busy getting the country into debt and trashing the economy with brexit.

This I'm afraid. I'd just turn it on myself.

I can't understand people like that, suffer in life to save £ that they have and could spend easily, and for what?it will be left when they are gone..makes no sense at all

It's not £600. It's £200.

I’m in my 70s and I and everyone I know of my age would hate it for family and friends to be cold if they were visiting, even if they don’t mind the cold themselves, to the point that they would spend money they can’t afford.
Your FIL sounds mean and controlling, and I feel sorry for your MIL.

She's kind of just as bad, she claims she would prefer not to put the heating on because it's wasteful. I don't think it's abuse, but they do have a very old-fashioned marriage where what FIL says, goes.

I disagree. She reminds me of the women on here who insist that their husband is very loving and caring, except for when he's beating her; and a devoted, affectionate dad, except for when he keeps ignoring and shouting at the kids over nothing.

Even in old-fashioned 'man in charge' marriages/families, the idea is supposedly that he facilitates everybody's needs and comforts; not that he just ignores anybody who isn't him.

In all likelihood, MIL won’t be allowed to use the heated thrown

Exactly. It’s not about the money at all. They can afford to put the heating on but the FIL doesn’t want to and enjoys exerting that kind of control. OP will give him money but it won’t make him put the heating on.

@mitogoshigg DH sorts the bills as he is not working and has much more time than me, I said it cannot be right, but apparently it is. It is a fixed amount each month so in theory you build up a credit for winter but we only have about 100 in credit

i am just shocked/scared by how much energy costs here

putting on the heating feels like literally burning pound notes 😮

Some of them, maybe! My DPs would both have been well over 100 now, but I well remember how much they relished finally having a lovely warm house once we had central heating installed - in the 60s.

OTOH a DSis’s FiL, who lived in the N of Scotland, would never visit during the summer because it was ‘too hot’ - DSis and BiL lived in Yorkshire!

Their generation probably grew up like this though. Central heating was a huge luxury in the 60's and 70's - yes people had it but they were far more careful with pennies then than the current generations understand. We had to switch every light off then too and none were left on overnight - our street is like Blackpool illuminations these days through the night due to the burglary risk (and reduced relative cost of lighting). Your DH should help them move with the times and maybe an offer of cash would help the conversation even if they don't need it?

Tell them that the cold is making you feel ill, you can't sleep and are chilled to the bone and feel sick. Rent an Air bnb nearby and give them the money you have cost them in electricity thus far and usage of water, etc. You need to be able to function in your everyday. When I was a student decades ago, I stayed in a house in the Midlands and it was freezing. I went to bed fully clothed with my coat on and only took my shoes off. We got served liver stew for two full days, reheated and reheated. It still sticks in my memory 50 years later. I was never so grateful to get onto the heated train back to the big smoke. Never again.

@RamonaRamirez

How do you spend £300 a month without heating???

I have a 4 bed and my summer bill is £60 a month, it's £160-200 in winter depending on how cold it is.

A heated throw for your MIL for Christmas is a good idea. In the meantime, stay somewhere else!

My outlaws do this - they’re almost competitive with the heating and who gives in and turns it on first! It’s ridiculous.

My parents don’t have central heating (no gas where they are), so have two storage heaters and two log burners.

I guess arguing about heating is the latest issue being pushed by bots. I’m waiting for all the ‘I hate what my husband got me for Xmas’ threads

I would be calling adult social services if you can't get him to change his view.
A 70 year old woman shouldn't be shivering on the sofa with a coat on in any circumstances, nevermind when it's due to her husband choosing to despite having money.
But yes if you can afford it then pay for now, but if you can't get him to agree to setting the thermostat to 18.5 then longer term your MiL needs someone to look our for her.

This

You can’t make him do something he doesn’t want to do in his own house if he is of sound mind -and it sounds like he is. But in this instance, where their health is at risk, you should try.

You can’t stay there without heating. It’s unreasonable for you to have to stay there in those conditions so it shouldn’t matter if they kick up a fuss for you leaving for alternative warm accommodation. There is going to be a fuss either way. But please make sure MIL doesn’t actually want to come with you.

Your DH should be the one tackling this very serious problem very firmly, even if only for MIL sake. The cold can so easily be a killer for the elderly. There is no merit whatsoever in suffering like that when they can afford not to.
It really is worth taking a very firm lead and insisting he puts the heating on.
Then, if FIL complies, I think you should insist on paying the whole electricity bill for the time you are there.

Is he like this every year OP? Or is he upset about the withdrawal of the Winter Fuel Allowance and making some sort of illogical stand.

Sounds like my FIL last Winter his thermostat showed 13 degrees and he was proud his gas and electric bill that month was £33 combined! He has plenty of money and enjoys stashing it away .

We live in a 4 bed 50yr old house in the south, and in summer (with no heating on) we pay 300 a month

that is before heating

so and now when we put the heating on, sparingly, costs rocket

i guess we are also “misers” but DH been unemployed for 2 yrs and the cost of energy scares me

My dad (85) would be horrified if you produced an electric heater because "electricity costs twice as much as gas!!" and would probably rather put the heating on than let you run a heater!