…to ask what to do about my former employer trying to ruin my life any way they can for their own amusement?

But surely you wouldn't want them to give a more detailed reference IN YOUR CASE as then they'd be obliged to reveal all the negatives. However they frame it, you're taken loads of time off and walked out on the job without permission etc etc. They can't give detail that would get you the job.

You're literally making up your own employment law rules.
No one is under any obligation to give you a warning, a right to appeal or a warning on the day.
You are in probation, you haven't been employed for 2 years.
You're making yourself look very silly now and risking any future prospects of being employed in a similar role locally. Seriously go have a cup of tea and take a breath.

I thought basic references were standard now. I’m surprised employers even bother asking for them, although I suppose it confirms you did work there.

Aw come on! I think people would like to hear if you understand your accountability in this? Understand you didn't behave professionally and brought this on yourself?

Surely you can't ignore dozens of lovely women trying go explain to you that this happened because of your actions??
You are going to have a very difficult life if you do these kind of things then think it's everyone's fault.

Why are you emailing thier funding bodies, that's insane, no one in the funding bodies cares one bit about a job offer that was withdrawn. The people who work in them funding bodies will think the same as every other single person who has tried to get through to you here and you will give them clear evidence of why they shouldn't employ you by emailing them with your rant.

Sounds harsh but I would be very worried if I had to use mental health services and you were the person who was supposed to be there to help me.

Please use your time more wisely, go for a walk, a swim, read a self help book, your spiraling and only you can get yourself back to a healthy place, a good job and happy life.

Interesting. Not interested in working in that industry again then? Cos this will absolutely get around.

YOU DID WRONG. You need to be accountable for that. And learn from it.

I can't believe after reading all the latest really helpful, knowledgeable replies from everyone I get to the update from the OP and the only response given is about how the cat is doing, I'm out.

In some sectors even a basic reference has to say there were no safeguarding concerns, without that assurance another employer won’t take them on. So this is potentially a big deal and would raise it with them.

(and of course it's totally different to your sweet cat. all cats are different. that's why people put a lot of thought into getting them and don't tend to acquire a pet the way you have here, at both personal and financial expense)

I think the poster earlier was joking about the cat having ruined your life far more than the manager, but actually I think it's true. From the moment you got enmeshed with this cat, which was simply 'hanging around', not had an accident or anything that demanded your involvement, things have gone to shit. I'd seriously reconsider keeping it. Get it to a rescue and save your money, time and energy for sorting yourself out. It's suddenly become your focus when that's really the last thing you need.

I have worked in the charity sector for many years.

I have seen a lot of people work for charities they care about but who mistakenly believe the cause will make the organisation kinder to their needs. The organisation see their primary duty of care as being to their clients. Going AWOL is a safeguarding concern if you were on duty and clients could have been contacting you. The organisation would have seen the impact of you prioritising your own mental health issues over that of clients. That is a safeguarding concern.

With kindness, it's common for people with their own issues to be drawn to support work, but it may be that you're not ready for it yet.

I would have fired you for the "few weeks off sick" within 7 months, never mind going AWOL to visit a cat!

In my decades in management in large companies, I've never seen anyone who behaves like that in their probation period go on to be anything but an absolute nightmare employee.

It's usually quite tricky to identify bad employees early on as they're on their best behaviour during probation, but you handed yourself over on a plate to get fired.

OP, I hope you've learnt about you're own unacceptable behaviour from this thread. Taking unapproved leave, a few weeks sick leave within in the space of 7 months and challenging your line managers authority, all within your probation period, would have gotten you sacked from most jobs. You cannot behave like this in the work place. You really need to learn from this or you're going to find yourself in the same position again in the future.

Factual references are really normal, it's not a vendetta. I'm sorry you didn't get the new job, I know how disappointing that can be. When you're job hunting don't put all your eggs in one basket, keep looking, keep applying, even if one of them is looking like sure thing, until you have a signed contract anything can happen.

"You go to work, arrive and leave on time. Dress and behave appropriately. Your boss is not your mum. Don't tell them all your personal details.
Why does a boss of such a short period know you have debt and all the other personal things about your life?
Save it for friends and family."

These are very wise words OP and also just common sense!
You failed your probation no doubt due to excessive absences and for going AWOL.
Your old manager is not trying to sabotage your career. They are simply answering future employers' questions honestly.
Time to grow up and behave appropriately at work.

Agree it was daft to take the time anyway when the request had been refused & you could have phoned... but that aside

It's unusual for organisation not to stick to factual references these days. He's overstepped the mark in saying he declined to give a reference in such a way that the new job offer has been withdrawn.
How large was the charity - do they have an HR team rather than giving the line manager as a referee in future?
I once had a similar situation - local council has a 'back into employment' team, a friend worked as an employment coach for them, and wrote to the former employer on my behalf.
Didn't happen again, Manager was sacked.
Does your council have a similar scheme?

Get anything as soon as you can - is it too late for Christmas Supermarket jobs? Means the role isn't the last on your CV (or as others have said, leave it off your CV)

Approach HR/Payroll about the attachment of earnings.

Good luck.

Since she never got past probation I'd not see it as a permanent role so could cover that period with a brief temporary roles type heading on cv.

She can complete a new starter form instead of handing in a P45.

the bigger risk is that the new employer finds out about the missing job and then sacks the OP for lying. So I wouldn’t advise that it’s left off either.

I'm concerned about advising the OP to miss the employment off her CV because her P45 will have the record of her former employer.

Better to go for a role that doesn't require safer recruitment and will accept a basic reference.

I think in basic terms the employer seen you as too much drama and couldn’t in all good faith recommend you to a future employer. You took weeks off within a 7 month period - that is way higher than the average amount of sickness, so the leaving without express permission is probably just the final straw.

I honestly don’t think you sound very stable.
Your thought processes are all over the place and you’re making a lot of damaging decisions for you and your career. I hope you can access the health services you need.

It's tricky but not impossible. For example you would need someone who can walk to be a labourer, so it's not discrimination to not employ a wheelchair user.

In this case, an employee needs stable MH to work with other people's MH issues. E.g. you can't have a therapist who gets upset inappropriately if a client is displaying MH caused behaviour. The therapist is there to hold the client's issues and not react except in a compassionate way. All therapists have supervision which is a form of therapy for themselves to support their MH when they are dealing with difficult issues with clients.

I can't comment on the OP but it is not discrimination to check that a future employee will be able to cope with the mental load of dealing with clients who have MH issues. You can't mess up the clients even more with an employee who can't cope.

out of interest, how does safer recruitment sit alongside disability discrimination laws? What if someone isn’t suitable for a role because of a disability that they have eg OCD

Is anyone else thinking the new company have dodged a bullet, retracting the job offer?

Fair enough. I did not see it and I shall retract my comment.