What do I do about this person/AIBU?

Tell a close friend at school and ask them to act as a bouncer to lock her as well.

Also: practice a short phrase that you can say (not the kind of snappy comeback other people think they can say but something that is natural to you).

”Hi Kathy. No time today. I will let you know if I have time. Bye.” Act like you are a New Yorker. Just keep walking. Don’t break stride or make eye contact.

She’s a vampire, OP. None of this has anything to do with concern for what you and your family have been through; her sadness centres around how she feels because you’re no longer available to be her personal sounding board and emotional sponge. She’s using your tragedy to create drama around herself.

It’s absolutely outrageous that she’s putting you under such pressure to prioritise her when you’re dealing with such intense trauma and stress. Fuck her. Cut her off and don’t feel a moment’s guilt or worry about it. People this self-absorbed and thick skinned don’t understand subtlety. You need all your resources and emotional bandwidth to process what’s happened, heal yourself and help your children. You owe this fuckwit nothing.

Block this woman on every platform.

She's a stalker. Her behaviour is awful and frightening.

Put up those boundaries and do not let her past them.

She's really really creepy.

Sorry for your loss. Just block her though it's not hard.

This woman is not your friend. A real friend would have respected your wishes and boundaries. She comes across as a very needy individual, with little to no self-awareness or consideration for other people. It's all about her, and what she wants at that particular time. I absolutely agree with others, you need to severe contact, block her and your husband needs to as well. If she knows where you live, install a Ring doorbell or get a security camera, so you can monitor who is calling on you. The Friday pick-up is awkward - is there anyone else who could do this for you? Not forever, but for a short period of time. If she sees you're no longer collecting your children, it's possible she may not hang around, once she's collected her Grandchildren. The work situation - I assume at some point you will be returning to work? Do you think your line manager would be sympathetic? You may need to be honest, and explain the situation. Is your workplace too small, for you to avoid her? Do you have no option but to have to work with her? If there is no choice, then be polite, but try not to engage too much.

Don't tell her, just block the number.

Jesus Christ, what?

The first time somebody called me at 4am - assuming it didn't involve blood, bullets or fire - would be the last.

Why haven't you told them in no uncertain terms to fuck off?!

If you ask someone not to contact you, and they relentlessly contact you, its harassment. There's nothing friendly about it.

Tell your husband to phone her and get him to make it clear it's the only call he will be making. He needs to tell her to fuck off and leave you alone forever otherwise you'll be taking it further. She is not your friend. Wishing you good times OP x

I have a friend who will think nothing of calling me at 4am waking me up then calling and texting every hour until I answer. I’ve told her repeatedly to stop. It goes in one ear and out the other. I now put her on silence at night and only take her off when I decide. That won’t help the school gate thing though.

Do you have a friendly but thick-skinned/hard-nosed colleague you can enlist to tell her to fuck the fuck off?

This isn't normal, OP, and you have every right to express your discomfort.

Start by blocking her.

You're not being unreasonable or mean OP. If you have to see this woman just keep conversation short, tell her you're in a rush, surely she will get the hint. It's fine to ignore her messages.

My first child was stillborn at over 40 weeks a few years ago and I know what it's like to be so worried every day of a subsequent pregnancy. This woman doesn't seem to be considerate of you to your needs.

I wish you well with your pregnancy. Take the time you need, do what works for you, go to hospital for reassurance as many times as you need and just ignore people who are making things harder. You don't owe this woman anything.

I'd message her explaining that despite you telling her you need space, she continues to bombard you with messages, calls and conversations.
Tell her that she's way overstepped and keeps on doing so.
Tell her you're blocking her, and do it.
If she collars you at school ignore her. She has the hide of a rhino so nothing but you being totally direct will compute.

She’s not a friend, she’s a drama llama who wants to be part of your life. Honestly, I’d send her a message telling-not asking-her to leave you alone and that you’re going to block her and that she is to immediately stop messaging/contacting you/talking to you. She has been uncaring and over the top, I’d be no holds barred with her, she doesn’t deserve kindness.

I’m so sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine how awful that was. 💐

Block, ignore, walk away.

You are doing nothing wrong by pretending she doesn’t exist. She’s harassing you. If this were a man, we’d all call him a dangerous stalker.

Do you know where she lives? Could your dh go round and have a word with her? I think someone needs to have a quiet talk to get through to her what she's doing to you.

I wonder if you've been too mindful of her feelings and she's too thick skinned to get it. That's not a criticism of you, but probably means that it would be better for someone else to deal with her if possible.

If not possible for it to be done in person then maybe a very blunt note - again, maybe written by someone else on your behalf.

You are asking so very, very little of her. She has absolutely no excuses here.

Block her OP. You’re not her emotional support person.

This is why you need to block her OP. She's obviously not taking the hint, but if you block her, and avoid her, and she still tries to collar you at the school, I think you need to be really blunt, and tell her, that you really don't have the head space to be talking to people at the moment, which is why you've blocked her, so please can can she leave you alone, until you are better, at which time you will get in touch. If she then bother's you again, you need to say 'you clearly can't take no for an answer, and if you continue to bother me, I'm afraid I will be reporting you to the police for harassment, which is a criminal offence!' Then just walk away.

Please don't spend your valuable personal resources worrying about someone who clearly doesn't really care about you OP, as if she did, she'd respect your wishes, and leave you in peace. Just concentrate on you and your baby, as that's the ONLY thing that really matters right now. Sending you a comforting hug!

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you've had to go through.
Unfortunately you're going to have to be blunt. "Brenda, I'm sorry I can't talk now" when you see her and keep walking. Block her on your and your husbands phone.
Your mental health is so much more important than her feelings at this point.
I wish you well for the rest of your pregnancy xxx

Another one who says block her. She's not a friend behaving as she is. There's no respect for your feelings or boundaries. Tell your Husband to block her too. Don't engage with anyone trying to pass messages etc. to you on her behalf.

You need to focus on you, your baby, and your family. You don't need the stress and anxiety this woman is causing you. Don't feel guilty, her behaviour is appalling. Block her and don't give her another thought. ❤️

Sometimes you need to be blunt. Just send her what you typed above and say please don't contact me.

or if you don't want to be that blunt...tell her she's a dear friend and you love how she's got your back...but you can't bare to even talk to her...and that she needs to give you space and that you know she will always be there for you yadda, yadda...lay it on thick and block her!

Omg. She's an absolute cunt. Give me her number and I'll put her straight on your behalf. I'm very sorry about your loss but you now need to put your needs first. Fuck her off, for good.