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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Holiday and friend.

81 replies

Speckyfourfries · 22/11/2024 13:22

Planned a trip abroad next summer. Costing just under 1k each. My friend was very much up for this and helped choose dates and hotel etc. She couldn't afford to pay upfront so I have paid the full amount with the agreement she will pay me back a monthly amount, her first payment was due next week.
She has just text me to say she's really sorry but can't go now.
I would/will go alone but she's now thinking she doesn't have to pay me?
Aibu in still expecting the money?
I have no one else to go with but that's not the issue its the money, I've just looked and could get a partial refund for £460 for cancelling her share but should she still pay me what I've paid upfront for her ? Or do I get the partial refund and cut my losses :-(
I feel like such an idiot..

OP posts:
FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 22/11/2024 14:24

@Ace56 perfect response.

sonjadog · 22/11/2024 14:22

She should pay you what you can't get refunded, and then if she gets someone else to go instead, they can pay her the money she has given you.

She probably won't do that though. Don't pay upfront for someone like this again. This is going to be an expensive lesson for you, unfortunately.

Ace56 · 22/11/2024 14:21

Just respond as if it’s obvious she needs to pay you. ‘Oh what a shame you can’t come :( I’ve looked into it and can get £460 back luckily, so it’ll just be the other £460 that you owe me as it’s non-refundable.’

SweetBobby · 22/11/2024 14:21

I knew what was coming after the first couple of lines. She won't pay you.

andHelenknowsimmiserablenow · 22/11/2024 14:21

I would tell her that she owes you the difference in what refund you can get for cancelling her place, and, if you do find someone to take her place on the holiday instead you will pay her back (monthly) 😉

ItGhoul · 22/11/2024 14:19

Is she insane?

Claim the £480 refund back on her £1K share if you can, and then she should pay you back the remaining £520. If you can't get the £480 back then she should pay you back the full £1K.

Sunnings · 22/11/2024 14:19

Of course she has to pay, but don't be surprised if she doesn't.
Cancel and get what you can back.
Learn from this.
NEVER pay for anything in advance for someone.
It saves so much hassle.

KimberleyClark · 22/11/2024 14:17

Of course she has to pay you back. What a CF.

Delphiniumandlupins · 22/11/2024 14:01

I guess in her situation I would hope you could find someone else to go with but if you can't/don't want to then she should absolutely pay what you can't get refunded. You have probably lost a friend either way.

Chocolatesnowman2 · 22/11/2024 14:00

The title of your post is wrong ..
She's not your friend.
A friend would not do that , especially knowing you had paid for her
I doubt very much she will pay you a penny

Cotonsugar · 22/11/2024 13:55

Speckyfourfries · 22/11/2024 13:29

Sorry meant to say she thinks ill be able to get someone to replace her place and they can pay...

Of course that’s what she’s hoping for so that she doesn’t have to pay but she needs to pay the money that can’t be refunded in case you don’t or can’t find a replacement holiday friend.

DollopOfFun · 22/11/2024 13:52

I'd tell her that I wouldn't have booked the holiday to go with anyone else, so you will request a refund for her share, but as it won't be the full amount she will need to make up the difference.

kiwiane · 22/11/2024 13:50

She needs to pay you; it’s likely she won’t do and this is the end of the friendship. I would still go without her and ask her for the balance.

JaydeeMai · 22/11/2024 13:39

Get the refund and she owes the rest! Cheek of her.

IchiNiSanShiGo · 22/11/2024 13:34

I hope she has a good reason for not coming?

She should cover the cost, yes, but I’d imagine she won’t want to.

I think you need to tell her she needs to find someone to replace her (if you want her to do that) who will need to pay you, or she needs to pay her remaining balance after you get a refund.

Has she said anything about owing you money?

ElfAndSafetyBored · 22/11/2024 13:33

Speckyfourfries · 22/11/2024 13:29

Sorry meant to say she thinks ill be able to get someone to replace her place and they can pay...

Well
if you can then happy days. But it has to be someone you’d be happy to go on holiday with.

Catza · 22/11/2024 13:30

Speckyfourfries · 22/11/2024 13:29

Sorry meant to say she thinks ill be able to get someone to replace her place and they can pay...

So she can pay and if she finds someone, they can square it between them.
I would text her now and say that you can get £460 back, meaning her share is now XYZ. Would she still like to cancel or would she prefer to find someone else to go in her place.
Put it right back to her.

Moremustard · 22/11/2024 13:30

There will likely be an extra cost if you go alone. Prices are often based on 2 sharing

Daysgo · 22/11/2024 13:30

She needs to pay u

BlastedPimples · 22/11/2024 13:29

Yes but what if you don't want to holiday with that person?

StormingNorman · 22/11/2024 13:29

She needs to pay the balance after the refund.

Original poster
Speckyfourfries · 22/11/2024 13:29

Sorry meant to say she thinks ill be able to get someone to replace her place and they can pay...

OP posts:
Falseshamrok · 22/11/2024 13:28

Ofcourse she has to pay you!

rookiemere · 22/11/2024 13:28

Oh dear, this is an lesson into why you should never book with someone else unless they have paid something.

What refund do you get if you cancel all of it ? Many of the large holiday operators only charge £60-90 per person if it's cancelled more than 90 days in advance.

Therealjudgejudy · 22/11/2024 13:28

She should pay you what you dont get refunded.

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