To not understand adult food vs kids food?

We almost always gave our DSs the same food we were eating. As a result they’ve grown up and we know they will always find something to eat. It’s not been plain sailing though as eldest doesn’t like cheese or mushrooms, youngest won’t eat fruit, peas or cooked tomatoes.

I always hated that the children’s menu was usually cheap, fried foods and not what I wanted them to have. Did cause an issue with the in-laws once when youngest wanted what we were having but they were expecting him to eat from the cheaper children’s menu.

Yep, it's definitely British. When I go abroad, kids just eat what the adults eat.

Eating the same meal does not mean having to eat things you don't like. Individual portions can be modified accordingly and, if that isn't possible, something else provided. It's important that everyone sits down at the table to eat together.

As a child I did not like beef in any form. When my mum cooked beef for her and my dad, she would do me a chicken portion.

My son always loved food and ate well but there were things he wouldn't touch, like mushrooms and custard, or cheese sauce. Not a big deal, he just didn't have them.

I was pretty fussy as a child and both myself and my Dsis had eating disorders in our teens/20s.

As I said in a previous post I did all the "right" things with weaning my PFB literally following guidance yo the letter, but DD just didn't like a massive amount of stuff I was making. I cooked vegetables, pureed what we were eating, she just didn't like it. I found it pretty stressful. I saw a dietician and they said just give what she will eat....which was mainly bland (and carbs)

Obviously I've gradually introduced more foods but it's really really not through lack of exposure or lack of effort that she doesn't like so many things. My philosophy having had an eating disorder, and knowing they can be genetic is that I'm OK if she's eating meals, is a healthy weight and occassionally trying new things.

She's 18 now and would still order a kids meal of she could get away with it

I just find it pretty annoying that so many people seem to suggest it's as simple as "just give them what you're eating" ....because they had a child who happened to like that stuff!

I'm firmly in the "everyone should eat the same meal" camp. Sadly, my daughter isn't and will point blank refuse to eat most sauces, spices or any kind of meal with vegetables and meat mixed together. I swore I'd never make separate meals but I have started to set aside the same food we are eating and cooking it plain without spices or sauce (e.g. if we're having chicken and broccoli curry she'll have grilled chicken, broccoli and rice) because at least that way she's eating vegetables, protein and carbs. I had so hoped that she would be the kind of kid who eats and enjoys everything and I followed all the advice.

I saw an article recently on the BBC on fussy eaters which reported it to be down to genetics and not influenced by parenting. If you have a fussy eater you have a fussy eater, then that’s it. It is said to peak between 2-4yrs old, tail off, have another peak at 7ish and then tail off, with not much discernible difference at teen years.

Which is why I blame DH for DS being a fussy eater 😁DH was also very fussy as a small child, he's not fussy as an adult.

@fivebyfivebuffy I just wanted to say this is a really lovely post. I wish you were one of my colleagues.

I saw an article recently on the BBC on fussy eaters which reported it to be down to genetics and not influenced by parenting. If you have a fussy eater you have a fussy eater, then that’s it. It is said to peak between 2-4yrs old, tail off, have another peak at 7ish and then tail off, with not much discernible difference at teen years.

One of my twins is very fussy, the other will eat anything – they were given the same treatment with eating and food since birth which was baby led weaning. One twin simply stopped cold at eating what was on offer, the other didn’t.

but suggesting that calamari is the same as chicken nuggets is just mental

To you, to me it’s obvious there’s no major difference between any of them - nuggets, scampi, calamari, fish fingers - they’re all breaded white meat. The only real difference is in the level of processing.

Stand up for yourself and when they criticise you, throw back and say where on a baby food jar does it say suitable for age 3.

I loved creating exciting meals for my first baby from 6 months, it was lockdown so a bit of interest. Second baby this year I haven’t had so much time but he gets pretty much everything we eat. His nursery are very big on proper adult meals, lamb tagines, curries, mexican, pastas, loads of fruit and veg. Very much baby led.

My biggest tip for anyone wanting to take this approach to baby weaning is have a constant stock of creme fraiche! Make your own food and if a bit too spicy, throw a teaspoon of creme fraiche in theirs. Want to make a quick dip, creme fraiche is your friend! Works in anything from breakfast, lunch, tea to dessert!.

I don’t think she is showing off. I do think she is privileged that her children eat that kind of thing. My eldest eats calamari, along with anything and everything else. My middle will not. She would eat nothing rather than eat calamari. So yes I probably would end up buying her something elsewhere if we were somewhere with no kids menu. You’re misunderstanding me, I’m not advocating for chicken nuggets. I’m saying some children will only eat that kind of thing, and it’s ridiculous when you haven’t experienced it, to think that’s because the child hasn’t been exposed to adult foods. I have three children, all have been weaned the same way and all have been exposed to the foods I eat. Within a week of weaning all three of them were given shellfish. I have two who eat shellfish, and one who won’t even pick it up now. She is the way she is. However, I just wouldn’t take her somewhere that didn’t have a kids menu that I knew she’d eat from to be honest, so op would never know 😂 although I have no shame in my daughters food preferences so I probably would just say, sorry that restaurant doesn’t cater for her, she won’t eat seafood and needs somewhere that will serve pasta or chicken nuggets.
i in no way think children should only eat chicken nuggets.
but suggesting that calamari is the same as chicken nuggets is just mental, it’s very obviously in no way like a chicken nugget…proven by the fact that children who only eat chicken nuggets wouldn’t eat calamari 😂😂😂

I would agree to an extent however, far too many people scoffed when DS was first eating that one i didn’t force food down him and two that he wasn’t ordered a special meal and just ate off our plates. It does help if they see parents eating the same meal.

You could say that about all seafood, you just happen not to like calamari. I’d say nuggets and fish fingers have a vile UPF texture whereas calamari don’t the similarity is in the breadcrumb coating.

OP is right, the idea that calamari is showing off is peak MN.

If you are one of the “my child eats what I eat” people I guarantee it’s more down to luck than excellent parenting.

When DD was a baby I followed all the advice, no pouches, baby led weaning, fed her what I was having and she was a great eater as a baby. Then from around 3 she just started with food refusal and eating beiger and beiger foods. She has issues with texture and mixing food and dislikes most vegetables.

At 11 she’s finally being assessed and I believe we’ll get an ASD diagnosis. We’re lucky she doesn’t have extreme food aversions or anything like that. She will try foods and I’ll often ask her to try curries etc but she almost never likes them. She will eat a variety of pastas, lasagna and likes a good roast. She doesn’t mind steak and loves hoisin duck, but her preferences still tend to be bland - pizza, goujons, chips, mash.

I was an extremely fussy eater in the 80s and used to actually gag if my mum made me eat potato. I didn’t even eat chips. Now I’ll eat almost anything so people do grow out of it

I totally agree OP, ours will sometimes have some fish fingers or the like but generally, my husband is the cook of the house and will just cook one big meal and it’s for everyone — seldom beige!

Too many* obvs

Yeah, it's luck. I know far two many siblings who were both given everything like my DC yet one will happily live off a diet of beige.

Like the lasagne and chips I've seen mentioned here so frequently?

Mine always had the same meals as the adults from being weaned, just smaller portions.
When being weaned they had the same food as us, just blended up.
That included mild curries etc.
Chips and fish fingers etc weren't on the menu.

My youngest is 5 (and the youngest of 5). He is also the only one who will literally only eat “kiddy”food (not baby food, he never even had that as a baby!!”. I brought him up no different to the others food wise either. But he’s the fussiest little person ever. Won’t even eat chips and nuggets… has to be chips OR nuggets. He won’t even attempt anything remotely adult. Won’t touch any fruit or any veg. Yet if I put a plate of olives, feta and some nice salami/chorizo out he will demolish it! (Which kinda contradicts what I just wrote lol!!) even more so if I’m not looking!! Basically all children are different and as long as they have full tummies it doesn’t matter!!

• before I’m jumped on…. I try him constantly but never make a big deal of it or make threats about pudding bla bla bla. He’s growing and developing well and have multivitamin gummy things alongside his crap diet but full tummy.

By three ours was eating exactly the same as us... Maybe with less salt. I remember we'd order Chinese food with no added salt or MSG.

Never understood it either. Our 4 year old grandson loves olives, smoked salmon, sushi, Coq au vin, lemon and prawn fettuccine, Caesar salad, whatever. Because that’s what our family eats so of course he does too. His mum and her brother were the same as tots. Just never occurred to us that there was adult and child food.

Your approach is the right one but surely you know this..?

I was very lucky that DC will eat anything (mushrooms are their favourite!) but I did give absolutely everything pretty much when weaning. I still think it's mainly luck though and there will be many fussy phases!

The only thing I didn't give were extremely spicy/salty dishes where it'd be difficult to cool it down with yoghurt. But they had a typical protein + carb + two veg style meal instead or something I'd batch cooked in the freezer.

How do they propose their DC eventually become eaters of the foods "they'd never give them" just while young?

Mine have always just eaten what we eat. Of course I've given them a fishfinger sandwich or chips and egg now and again, but we don't eat like that daily so neither do they. They both love fish and seafood, spices and herbs. The only thing DS doesn't like are mushrooms, and DD can be a bit funny with asparagus. Whenever we go to restaurants we just order off the main menu and they either split it or we take some home, or we do a load or sides. Tapas and Vietnamese places are quite good for that.

I've never seen the point of cooking "kids meals". Surely people want their children to have an open mind to new flavours? Plus, cooking separate meals every dinner time? That seems like a waste of time. Salmon and veg or a prawn curry is better than chicken nuggets and chips, there's no denying that, so I don't see the push towards beige for kids.

Same here. huge fish and seafood fan but NOT calamari or octopus.