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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If relationships had worked out I would have been

117 replies

isitsnowingyett · 22/11/2024 09:32

  • a gamekeeper's wife 😳
  • a wife of an American military bod probably divorced
  • living in a cottage in a small village in the Scottish Highlands
  • living in Tennessee in a very Christian environment

How about you?

OP posts:
Waystation · 22/11/2024 10:10

Married to a barrister - living happily in Yorkshire (we were engaged - he died)

Married and divorced to an alcoholic (ran his own successful company and screwed everything in a skirt) lucky escape!

Tiker · 22/11/2024 10:09

Lets see apart from divorced or a victim of DV possibly dead, I would be:

  • living in Sydney, Australia (probs unemployed with husband who used me as a punchbag).
  • A Judge’s wife in Dublin (probs with 5 kids and a dog). He cheats but doesn’t get caught.
  • Living in an east London council flat with a pathetic stoner I can’t afford to leave.
  • Visiting husband in the Scrubs, doing his time for armed robbery. Hoping I can get hold of the ££.

Very, very lucky with who I ended up with.

OldTinHat · 22/11/2024 10:08

I would have been living in Texas as a lawyer's wife. Or married to a BBC TV exec.

BookGoblin · 22/11/2024 10:03

Exactly the same as I'd never move for a man, I'm on my track, not his.

Glad for those of you who escaped the abusive arses.

KitKatChunki · 22/11/2024 09:59

Married to a man who wouldn't let me wear heels because he was obsessed with his height

Married to a man who searches for women with their own homes so he can freeload (aka cocklodger)

Married to a man who was paying large chunks of his salary to various porn sites and refusing to sleep with me

Married to a man who sulks if you point out his poor behaviour/lies.

Happily single!

Catza · 22/11/2024 09:57

Converted to Islam and have 7 children
Being a wife of an academic and scolded for enjoying occasional rom coms and eating more than my allocated 20 crisps.
Living in a remote farm and making art (also having a lot of sex)
Being a carer for a husband with a MH condition

Lovelylydia · 22/11/2024 09:55

Ok, so I would have been (in no particular order)

  • a cricket widow
  • a football widow
  • a bored, but very rich lady who lunches (twice)
  • A scientist’s wife in deepest Africa
  • ditto in Australia
  • ditto in India

BUT having kissed lots of toads, I’m now living a very boring but happy (albeit poor) life with my very ordinary husband. No regrets 😊

Agix · 22/11/2024 09:47
  • married to a nice lad who seems to have a nice normal life (pre teen "relationship" haha)
  • married to an accomplished professional chef (Midteen relationship!)
  • probably dead.
  • riddled with insecurities (porn addict). Most likely not married as he wasn't keen on ever getting married.
  • also riddled with insecurities. Definitely not married, he was stringing me along for years (porn addict again... I'm talking actual addicts, as in porn took priority over real life, dunno why i seemed to gravitate towards them.. maybe all men looked great after the very abusive one?)

Brings me to now, where future looks lovely with current partner

babytum · 22/11/2024 09:47
  1. a widow , he died from cancer in his 30’s. Great guy too
  2. if Facebook is anything to go by, I’d be living the high life in the West of Ireland being treated to regular holidays, concerts and nice things. I do believe Facebook to an extent he was a lovely guy when I knew him so can’t imagine he changed that much.
  3. Living in Portugal to a raging alcoholic. That was a very lucky escape!!

I’m divorced now, but it wasn’t an horrendous marriage, just an unsuitable pairing really and I’ve come out with my gorgeous kids and financially ok. Wouldn’t change a bit of it. Also in a new relationship, well it’s 5 years so not so new, to the loveliest man I’ve ever met.

DecayingRelic · 22/11/2024 09:45

an arsehole

a philanderer

twentysevendresses · 22/11/2024 09:39

Married to a very famous pop singer! 🤦‍♀️

ClicketyClickPlusOne · 22/11/2024 09:39

Rosesanddaffs · 22/11/2024 09:34

Dead, ex-husband was abusive and had plans to take me to another country and dispose of my body

I’m not sure that counts as ‘worked out’ !

(sorry that happened to you and glad it didn’t work out like that)

Beezknees · 22/11/2024 09:38

Rosesanddaffs · 22/11/2024 09:35

Sorry to bring down the tone 😂

Same 🤣

Beezknees · 22/11/2024 09:38

Very unhappy. My ex was verbally and mentally abusive, not physically although maybe it would have progressed to that if I hadn't got out when I did.

TheErinyes · 22/11/2024 09:37

Rosesanddaffs · 22/11/2024 09:35

Sorry to bring down the tone 😂

I was going to say I will remember this as a classic example of a threadkiller in the very first response, but well done on escaping in time.💐

Rosesanddaffs · 22/11/2024 09:35

Sorry to bring down the tone 😂

Rosesanddaffs · 22/11/2024 09:34

Dead, ex-husband was abusive and had plans to take me to another country and dispose of my body