To think that parents cannot leave money to severely disabled offspring free of IHT

It’s ok to want the best for your DC.

There are lots of policy decisions made about tax. Ultimately for every tax allowances or tax free investment someone else pays more tax. If you give a tax cut to one you make more tax payable by others as the overall tax income requirement is set.

Yes, I think this is absolutely right. And I guess what I'm saying is, in that world of difficult choices and limited resources, I would prioritise support for vulnerable and/or disabled people on low incomes over and above your disabled son getting a slightly bigger inheritance. That's not because I think your ds doesn't deserve as much support as he can get, but simply because I think there are other equally deserving people who need support as well. Even after the inheritance tax, your ds stands to inheritance significant amount of money, so be will still be much better off than many. It isn't a race to the bottom, of course, but when resources are limited, choices have to be made.

Look tidy is a good one. Why are you so bothered whether someone in the street thinks your son looks good.

We’re still alive and not millionaires - ours looks like he lives in a skip. He’s covered in crisps, or mud, or some other stuff. But he’s happy and cared for so who gives a shit.

I think you’ve laboured that point enough for her to be aware. Why should someone, disabled or not, be entitled to universal credit if they’re minted? Why should taxpayers on the bones of their arse subsidise someone with a six figure sum?

https://www.mencap.org.uk/advice-and-support/wills-and-trusts-service?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiA9IC6BhA3EiwAsbltOMC4w9RiLlPjEy72Z-hFyQYpFH7YF-nKAWDTyLeBt1MezeozhnPeVRoCxEgQAvD_BwE&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=1766811505&utm_term=mencap%20wills%20and%20trusts

have you worked with mencap to discuss the options for trusts? Can you set up a trust now rather than after IHT?

So you think those disabled children who aren’t left money and will have to rely on benefits will be the scruffy smelly hole in shoes ones?

But for many parents, there won't be anything close to £350,000 for their disabled child. I don't think it's that people aren't sympathetic to the issues facing what happens to their children if they are severely disabled when Mum and Dad pass on. Most average families in that situation won't have anything like that to leave.

As has been said, parents of severely disabled children often have to make sacrifices, which means they aren't generally looking at tipping the scales enough for inheritance tax to be a concern. My own parents didn't have those sacrifices as none of their children were disabled, and they are perfectly comfortable, but there's no way their estate is worth enough to trigger IHT. I would have thought that's most people.

Your son will still be better off than the majority facing this situation. It's a horrible position to be in, and I am not invalidating your concerns, but this isn't really about the IHT, since you would have the same problem (only without even £350k) if your assets were closer to the average.

This is about the scandalous lack of social provision for people in your son's situation.

You don't seem to be taking on board if you leave your disabled DS £300k he won't get UC.

@Noras, if you leave your disabled DS a lot of money he won't be entitled to UC.

Check out Mencap. They have webinars on this subject, with advice from solicitors who know this stuff. You need to set up a trust so it doesn't affect any benefits that he might be entitled to.

You definitely need proper advice from a qualified and specialist accountant.

For example you can use a discretionary trust for a severely disabled person in order to provide discretionary payments for eg care and therapy without it impacting on what they ‘own’. It’s a particular kind of trust used in very specific circumstances.

So your OP is actually incorrect and really if you’re considering leaving vast amounts of money to a very vulnerable person you need proper advice to prevent them being taken advantage of and to ensure that they are able to receive care provided by the local authority etc.

I have more sympathy with you than all the rich landowners campaigning for special status.

I'm afraid I don't have much sympathy.

1.2 million unpaid carers across the UK are living in poverty, with 1 in 10 of all carers in deep poverty. Very few people with disabled children will have anywhere near the inheritance tax threshold to pass on to them. Unless a miracle happens my disabled sons won't get much, and as I'm stuck on part time work and underemployed due to my carer role I'm facing an incredibly poor retirement too.

I think that disability benefits should be higher in a lot of cases and more done to support carers. But why should disabled people get benefits and also tax free inheritance. Makes no sense. Better to keep the tax in place and use the money to increase all disabled people and carer welfare.

Life insurance might be a good option for you if you're young enough and in good enough health for it to be affordable. If the policy is written into trust it should still pass to him exempt from IHT. You could look at policies that reduce the payout over time, so he gets less if you die when he's older (and therefore potentially needs less due to lower remaining life expectancy). Remember that he'll get some form of state pension or pension credit at retirement age too. Best to speak to an IFA to understand your options here.

The figures you are calculating are not 'over benefits' but instead of benefits as the inheritance will render him ineligible for all but PIP. He will live on the money you leave for several years until he has spent it down to the UC threshold figure, saving the public purse. For this reason I don't think YABU. Your money is not going to add to the wealth of the already wealthy, it is preventing your son being as reliant on the state as he would otherwise be. So unless the IHT comes to more than the cost in benefits, it would be cost effective to make an exemption in situations like yours.

This, to be honest. Most families of disabled people are not paying for their care (see my post above where I worked at a place that cost over 100k a year per resident to run).

Would you rather we pay for this kind of thing through taxation, or that it was only available to those who can fund it themselves? And if so, what happens to those that can't?

If you agree that tax should fund these services, but don't like IHT, how would you suggest we raise the shortfall?

OP, NOBODY chooses to be disabled.

No government has EVER given a crap about the people, they only care about their own power, money and lifestyle.

Many disabled people live in poverty. Your son is privileged compared to 99% of the people on this planet (I am bedbound and reliant on inadequate carers, so I am not coming from a place of no understanding). It all sucks, but there’s very little any of us can do about it, all you can do is the best for your son - live in a house that he can manage in when he is on his own, or ask his siblings if he can live with one of them in later years so he has a secure home. Financial advisor for everything else.

If it were invested with a 3% return and you wanted 50% of the return to be retained as captital it would be £350 a month as income.
It wouldn’t pay for that much I guess. How much do you need to cover care/support for a lifetime & does anyone outside the super wealthy have the money to fund it?

It’s about perspective for me.

I understand OP means relative poverty, compared to his life now, but still.

Lots of parents of disabled children worry for their future, but there are many that won’t inherit a large sum of money and won’t just end up going in the bin.

Even with IHT, her leaving a sum of money will still be a benefit that other disabled children/adults don’t get. If we did have money to leave, I’d just factor the tax into that and plan for what will be left, it’s better than the nothing we are like to be able to leave.

Whatever the right way to handle inheritance tax, some people do seem to be worryingly callous to adults with disabilities and their families! I feel for op and parents like her. It's a very hard and stressful situation to be in. To be constantly worrying about what will happen to your grown up children when you die before them.

I suspect she trying provide for her future, however there is no guarantee he will get nice holiday and clothes.