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AIBU?

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To think that parents cannot leave money to severely disabled offspring free of IHT

335 replies

Noras · 22/11/2024 04:17

Frankly I have been quite upset about farmers kicking up a fuss about IHT when they can transfer 3 million pounds of wealth IHT free and after that it only costs 20% which can be paid over a decade interest free.

As a parent of a disabled adult child I can only transfer one million pounds like anyone else and any unpaid IHT has to be paid over 10 years with 7% interest due.

We have other kids and can’t exclude them from our wills so that eats into the IHT allowance.

My son will struggle to work in any form of paid job.

I was discussing his placement in supported living with a social worker yesterday as a pretty likely destination

His life will inevitably be one of benefits eg universal credit and PIP

We have left % more to him due to his profound needs.

Our combined estate will face IHT charges especially with the fiscal drag.

So through no fault of my son he will live in relative poverty except for what is left after IHT into a vulnerable persons trust.

My son is used to nicer things eg holidays/ clothes etc and has some awareness of his current nicer life style even if he is not that driven by material things.

We would have to deprive ourselves of a decent retirement to ensure he is decently provided for,

I am heart broken to have given birth to someone who will live in relative poverty assuming he has a long life and the monies inherited have to cover say 45/50 years.

I am not the only parent waking up at 3am in fear of their kid’s future it’s a well known thing about parents of kids with disability.

AIBU to think that the Government should allow an IHT allowance for dependants who are classed as high needs eg PIP high or mid levels eg not really able to live independently etc? I can’t believe that they make no allowance in IHT terms for the disabled. As it is his care and needs have been an additional expense to us throughout his life eg 1:1 swimming lessons ,Ed Psych reports, SALT, private OT , personal trainers etc. This always exceeds disability benefits.

OP posts:
Anewuser · 22/11/2024 05:19

You won’t get much support on mumsnet. Reality is, most people cannot relate to anything you are saying. They think everyone should go to work and pay their way. They will have no understanding what you have sacrificed with a severely disabled child.

You need to get proper financial advice to set up a trust for your son. Your other children can still inherit as expected.

As a PP said, your son will not get means tested benefits if he has any savings over £16,000. Things like laundry he should not be paying for himself. Our son’s package (LA initially, now NHS CHC funded), covers his laundry costs. Accommodation will be paid so it should just be incidentals he’s paying for. A trust would allow funds to be taken for holidays etc.

I wish you luck. The thought of not being around for my son will clearly put me into an early grave. We can only do our best whilst we are here and hope we’ve planned well enough for their future.

Noras · 22/11/2024 05:13

Marchitectmummy · 22/11/2024 05:04

How are farming and disabled adults connected. Farming is vital for the entire nation, its been written about enough on recent months for you to be educated about why this is the case.

Your adult child's personal situation is not. Why will paying tax leave your adult child in relative poverty?

Pretty sure this is a fabricated thead. Tax plan like everyone else.

Farming might be vital but according to the NFU itself most farms are worth below 3 million so those farmers will not be affected.

As a caring society do we think it right that if you have the misfortune to be born disabled there is little state help to assist parents to provide for their offspring via tax allowances thus the likelihood is that their kid will have a life of relative poverty.

We do accept that the disabled person is blameless and did not cause their poverty?

OP posts:
Noras · 22/11/2024 05:09

Marchitectmummy · 22/11/2024 05:04

How are farming and disabled adults connected. Farming is vital for the entire nation, its been written about enough on recent months for you to be educated about why this is the case.

Your adult child's personal situation is not. Why will paying tax leave your adult child in relative poverty?

Pretty sure this is a fabricated thead. Tax plan like everyone else.

I’m real thanks and my son has complex needs and will most likely not be able to work unless he found an extraordinarily benign employer .

Clearly I do tax plan but there is no specific tax planning for this situation as there is no additional allowances. If your kids are not disabled there isn’t the desperate need or feeling that you have to provide for them. Normally you would expect them to get jobs etc. When your kids is disabled they are at the mercy of the State through no fault of their own,

OP posts:
Noras · 22/11/2024 05:05

oakleaffy · 22/11/2024 04:42

If you leave him money, he won't be able to claim universal credit- think that stops if you have savings of £16,000.

A million without having inheritance tax? That's very generous!

I thought it kicked in at 40% above about £350k for non farmers?

You have a combined one million allowance re the main house.

However clearly my son won’t inherit one million as he is not an only child and I’m not going to cut out of the will the other kids.

£300,000 over 50 years of life even if added to benefits is not a great life. A lot of the benefits would have to fund actual costs of disability eg PA expenses, taxis, additional laundry, additional breakages etc.

OP posts:
Marchitectmummy · 22/11/2024 05:04

How are farming and disabled adults connected. Farming is vital for the entire nation, its been written about enough on recent months for you to be educated about why this is the case.

Your adult child's personal situation is not. Why will paying tax leave your adult child in relative poverty?

Pretty sure this is a fabricated thead. Tax plan like everyone else.

oakleaffy · 22/11/2024 04:42

If you leave him money, he won't be able to claim universal credit- think that stops if you have savings of £16,000.

A million without having inheritance tax? That's very generous!

I thought it kicked in at 40% above about £350k for non farmers?

mm81736 · 22/11/2024 04:39

Why will it be £1m mot £500k

Coffeetostart · 22/11/2024 04:32

I have this worry too. My mid twenties son is in a residential care home which is dire (another story) and his situation is not going to alter. He has multiple and complex disabilities. When I visit him, I feel terrible leaving him in this so called “care” home.
He has enough awareness of being left, like a five year old. I feel I have failed him massively and no matter what I do as in challenging Social Services and the Care home itself, I don’t get anywhere.

I was advised not to leave him anything (not that I have much).

So much I could add it but it would be outing. I feel torn up inside thinking about his future once I am dead.

Bjorkdidit · 22/11/2024 04:30

No one who inherits 'only' a million pounds is in relative poverty.

A financial adviser/planner will help you/him use that money to provide him with a very decent income for life. Even sticking it in an instant access account will generate £40-50k before tax but obviously investments will likely perform better over time and keep up better with inflation.

Plus as a severely disabled person he is entitled to non means tested benefits. The tax and benefits system is not there to provide people with the means to afford 'nicer things' whatever their needs. YABU.

Guest100 · 22/11/2024 04:20

I would talk to a financial advisor. They might have a way around this by putting money in a trust.