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AIBU?

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Original poster

Getting cross with the crossing patrol!

90 replies

myfaceismyown · 21/11/2024 21:29

3 days a week I drive my adult DS to his special needs college in a neighbouring town,
I have to drive along a very long busy road that has 2 primary schools, one secondary school and therefore 3 crossing patrols. Normally not an issue and I wave back when they salute a "thank you".
Not today. today I nearly lost it. At the top of the hill, 3rd patrol, the lollipop lady was having a lovely natter with a couple of primary school parents, totally oblivious to a parent indicating to get onto the school road and totally blocking the traffic. This was 3pm so not chucking out time yet. Lollipopper jumped into action to stop the oncoming traffic to let a lone parent across. She then thanked me and I mimed a shrug as I was stuck behind the idiot parent blocking the road. I had a queue of cars stuck behind me as it is a busy thoughfair, and the only direct route to the next town.
So I am indicating to pull out round this blocking car and - hurrah! - there is a break in the oncoming traffic. Instantly nattering lollipop lady jumps into action to stick her pole out to allow another lone parent to cross. Ugh. I never do this but I jammed my hand on the horn, gave her a thumbs down and shouted "you beast", which she probably did not hear.
I did finally get round the idiot blocking person but was late fetching DS which caused him distress.
So AIBU to think that crossing patrol person should have paid as much attention to the traffic as they did to their chat?

OP posts:
Magnastorm · 22/11/2024 22:12

myfaceismyown · 22/11/2024 20:59

@Magnastorm No, that was not why I got annoyed. Having been stuck, the moment there was a break in the traffic so I could overtake the blocking car she sprang out to stop me so she could let another adult cross. Really infuriating and not really her job to stop traffic for adults to cross.

She was doing her job. You were held up by the driver of the car, not her. Screaming "you beast" at the lollipop lady just makes you seem a bit unhinged.

Original poster
myfaceismyown · 22/11/2024 21:39

@MathsMum3 Thank you for making me chuckle. Hardly a stream of parents. Most seem to be parking up where the road widens and walking back from what I could see.
@DoreenonTill8 I am guessing as I am not usually stuck there at that time and my DS's college day ends at 3.30pm.

OP posts:
DoreenonTill8 · 22/11/2024 21:36

A 330 finish?

MathsMum3 · 22/11/2024 21:34

myfaceismyown · 22/11/2024 21:24

@MathsMum3 The primary school day had not ended yet... she was just letting parents across. I am guessing they come out at 3.30 but certainly no children about.

So the stream of parents arriving 20+ minutes before the end of the school day is sufficient to keep you stationary for 20 minutes? No way.

Original poster
myfaceismyown · 22/11/2024 21:24

@MathsMum3 The primary school day had not ended yet... she was just letting parents across. I am guessing they come out at 3.30 but certainly no children about.

OP posts:
MathsMum3 · 22/11/2024 21:22

I'm calling bs on this one. There's no way a lollipop person in a rural area is going to keep you stationary for 20 minutes!! Presumably the "couple of primary school parents" they were chatting to were also 20 minutes late picking up from the adjacent primary school? Unbelievable.

ARealitycheck · 22/11/2024 21:19

TitchyBiteroo · 22/11/2024 20:37

You posted in AIBU.

You are being unreasonable, and you also seem to not give a stuff about the rules of the road that keep us all safe(ish)

The Highway Code is meant to be something you know about and follow the whole of your driving life - not just to pass your test.

The horn honking rule isn’t hard to remember - I’ve added a picture of it from the government site for you to recap.

Your sneery attitude to responses disagreeing with you here, when you asked for opinions, doesn’t give a great impression of your patience and respect for others.

You were in the wrong, unreasonable, and breaking the rules of the road, whether you like people noticing that or not.

Show quote history

I'd say use of the horn would fit the criteria of another road user causing a danger. The 'abandoned' bad car was definately a danger. My opinion is the crossing patrol, should have told the driver of that car to move it. I believe they do have that authority if they are putting the children in a dangerous position.

TitchyBiteroo · 22/11/2024 21:09

myfaceismyown · 22/11/2024 20:59

@Magnastorm No, that was not why I got annoyed. Having been stuck, the moment there was a break in the traffic so I could overtake the blocking car she sprang out to stop me so she could let another adult cross. Really infuriating and not really her job to stop traffic for adults to cross.

Actually that is her job.

They are employed at traffic-heavy or dangerous crossings to stop traffic whilst adults and children cross.

it sounds like the crossing was particularly dangerous with heavy traffic and that turning-in car blocking the view on half the road - so it’s great she was there.

It’s hard recruiting crossing patrol because it’s low paid, out in all weathers, and because they face a lot of abuse from impatient drivers.

Getting cross with the crossing patrol!
Original poster
myfaceismyown · 22/11/2024 20:59

@Magnastorm No, that was not why I got annoyed. Having been stuck, the moment there was a break in the traffic so I could overtake the blocking car she sprang out to stop me so she could let another adult cross. Really infuriating and not really her job to stop traffic for adults to cross.

OP posts:
Magnastorm · 22/11/2024 20:54

So you were stuck behind a poorly positioned car and somehow this is all the fault of the lollipop lady?

DancingFerret · 22/11/2024 20:50

What I don't understand is why lollipop bearers stop traffic to allow adults unaccompanied by children to cross the road; I thought their job was to enable safe crossing for children and any accompanying parents.

Could someone enlighten me, please?

DoreenonTill8 · 22/11/2024 20:49

I jammed my hand on the horn, gave her a thumbs down and shouted "you beast"
Bizarre....did everyone in the vicinity clap and cheer?

Original poster
myfaceismyown · 22/11/2024 20:49

TitchyBiteroo · 22/11/2024 20:37

You posted in AIBU.

You are being unreasonable, and you also seem to not give a stuff about the rules of the road that keep us all safe(ish)

The Highway Code is meant to be something you know about and follow the whole of your driving life - not just to pass your test.

The horn honking rule isn’t hard to remember - I’ve added a picture of it from the government site for you to recap.

Your sneery attitude to responses disagreeing with you here, when you asked for opinions, doesn’t give a great impression of your patience and respect for others.

You were in the wrong, unreasonable, and breaking the rules of the road, whether you like people noticing that or not.

Show quote history

Then I followed the rules as I used my horn whilst overtaking the blocking car alerting all to my presence - including the daft lollypop lady. No I am not sneering. I have already stated that I felt remorse, and I do. Job done.
If you read the other posters they seem to think I should have been honking at the blocking car, and I did not do that - I was probably far too patient. But i do appreciate your honest opinion, which is the great thing about MN.

OP posts:
Onthesideofthespiders · 22/11/2024 20:45

myfaceismyown · 22/11/2024 17:25

Its rural. Just how it is I guess. Does everyone honk all the time where you live I wonder?

Show quote history

My house is literally surrounded by fields. I have cows in a field about 10 meters from my bedroom window. Sheep in a field to the right of my house. Little country lane to get to and from places. I’m rural! And yes, people would be on their horns if some idiot was just sitting there. And we’d get out our cars and tell them to shift it.

TitchyBiteroo · 22/11/2024 20:37

myfaceismyown · 22/11/2024 17:29

@TitchyBiteroo oh yes, silly me. I expressly remember that line in the highway code when I was learnimg to drive in 1983. "the rules of the road - which include not using your car horn to express disapproval at crossing patrol people." and certainly do not post about it on Mumsnet.
Always remain calm and never let anyone upset you or you will have to sit on the naughty step...

You posted in AIBU.

You are being unreasonable, and you also seem to not give a stuff about the rules of the road that keep us all safe(ish)

The Highway Code is meant to be something you know about and follow the whole of your driving life - not just to pass your test.

The horn honking rule isn’t hard to remember - I’ve added a picture of it from the government site for you to recap.

Your sneery attitude to responses disagreeing with you here, when you asked for opinions, doesn’t give a great impression of your patience and respect for others.

You were in the wrong, unreasonable, and breaking the rules of the road, whether you like people noticing that or not.

Getting cross with the crossing patrol!
GrumpyPanda · 22/11/2024 17:49

myfaceismyown · 22/11/2024 17:25

Its rural. Just how it is I guess. Does everyone honk all the time where you live I wonder?

Show quote history

Whether rural or urban I'd certainly expect people to hink at a blithering idiot blocking main traffic for that long to enter an obviously impassable road. And I'd also expect traffic lady to monitor that situation and wave the driver on to go straight instead if necessary considering they're creating a completely unnecessary hazard (as you experienced yourself.)

Original poster
myfaceismyown · 22/11/2024 17:29

@TitchyBiteroo oh yes, silly me. I expressly remember that line in the highway code when I was learnimg to drive in 1983. "the rules of the road - which include not using your car horn to express disapproval at crossing patrol people." and certainly do not post about it on Mumsnet.
Always remain calm and never let anyone upset you or you will have to sit on the naughty step...

OP posts:
Original poster
myfaceismyown · 22/11/2024 17:25

Onthesideofthespiders · 22/11/2024 17:06

You must live in a a very very calm neighbourhood if you all sat there looking at this car blocking the road and not one person honked their horn.

Its rural. Just how it is I guess. Does everyone honk all the time where you live I wonder?

OP posts:
Onthesideofthespiders · 22/11/2024 17:06

You must live in a a very very calm neighbourhood if you all sat there looking at this car blocking the road and not one person honked their horn.

TitchyBiteroo · 22/11/2024 17:05

I understood - it’s just that I don’t agree with your rationale, and I think you were really unreasonable to honk your horn at a crossing patrol doing their job and another pedestrian, plus the gesture and verbal abuse to the crossing patrol.

Your frustration and loss of patience due to heavy traffic doesn’t trump or excuse the rules of the road - which include not using your car horn to express disapproval at crossing patrol people.

Original poster
myfaceismyown · 22/11/2024 13:21

@Onthesideofthespiders no one was beeping their horns and no, I wouldn't get out and speak to the driver as a) that would be mortifying and I am not one for confrontation and b) I am physically disabled and would have had to open the drivers door onto oncoming traffic to get out with my crutches. Not something I would feel safe to do.
I kept expecting the "dozey idiot" to move!
I feel calmer this afternoon so I don't think I will be beeping in future. Can't promise though.

OP posts:
Onthesideofthespiders · 22/11/2024 12:33

So why didn’t you, during that 20 minutes, get out and speak to the driver in front? Surely loads of cars behind you were blaring their horns and getting angry. Why didn’t you just go and tell the dozey idiot to move her car off.

Original poster
myfaceismyown · 22/11/2024 09:31

@TitchyBiteroo I am not sure you understood why I bipped my horn. I had been stuck, fairly patiently, for nearly 20 mins as the traffic built up behind me. The moment there was space to get my little car round the big blocking car - which was a parent going to that school - the lollypop lady sprang out to stop me to let a parent cross the road. She can do that anytime as she has the lollypop stick. I don't :)
I came on here to ask if I was being unreasonable because I have spent the last 20 plus years raising a neurally diverse child with additional physical challenges, which trains you to be very patient. I very rarely lose my temper, but this lollypop lady took the biscuit. She was far too busy chatting to see what was going on. I wanted to wake her up! Oh and I thought the whole point of crossing patrol is for the childrens safety. They had not come out of school yet.
I feel remorse for losing my temper, but oddly still very annoyed that I was not treated with the same respect as any other person. Car or no car.

OP posts:
TitchyBiteroo · 22/11/2024 08:32

This is not crossing patrol’s fault.

This is heavy traffic and bad blue car’s fault.

You don’t like being late for your kid - understandable - but sometimes you will be, and there will not always be a way to direct your frustration appropriately.

Jamming your horn at pedestrians and crossing patrol isn’t justifiable at all - in fact it’s not allowed, road rules speaking.

You were frustrated in your big vehicle, and took it out in angry aggressive behaviour towards pedestrians who were vulnerable in the road already in a gnarly blocked road where it feels unsafe.

And now you’re here posting to try for validation because I think you know you were unreasonable.

Original poster
myfaceismyown · 21/11/2024 22:33

@Onthesideofthespiders they were trying to get onto an already full small school road. they could have parked further up where the road widens for a bit and walked back.
@YabbaDabbaDooooo I had 10 mins spare, being stuck behind a selfish twit compounded by a daft lollipop lady made me late.

OP posts: