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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Getting cross with the crossing patrol!

90 replies

myfaceismyown · 21/11/2024 21:29

3 days a week I drive my adult DS to his special needs college in a neighbouring town,
I have to drive along a very long busy road that has 2 primary schools, one secondary school and therefore 3 crossing patrols. Normally not an issue and I wave back when they salute a "thank you".
Not today. today I nearly lost it. At the top of the hill, 3rd patrol, the lollipop lady was having a lovely natter with a couple of primary school parents, totally oblivious to a parent indicating to get onto the school road and totally blocking the traffic. This was 3pm so not chucking out time yet. Lollipopper jumped into action to stop the oncoming traffic to let a lone parent across. She then thanked me and I mimed a shrug as I was stuck behind the idiot parent blocking the road. I had a queue of cars stuck behind me as it is a busy thoughfair, and the only direct route to the next town.
So I am indicating to pull out round this blocking car and - hurrah! - there is a break in the oncoming traffic. Instantly nattering lollipop lady jumps into action to stick her pole out to allow another lone parent to cross. Ugh. I never do this but I jammed my hand on the horn, gave her a thumbs down and shouted "you beast", which she probably did not hear.
I did finally get round the idiot blocking person but was late fetching DS which caused him distress.
So AIBU to think that crossing patrol person should have paid as much attention to the traffic as they did to their chat?

OP posts:

Original poster

myfaceismyown · 22/11/2024 23:32

@RedHelenB I will just freeze to death and have to pee in a bottle, but otherwise sound.

OP posts:

RedHelenB · 22/11/2024 23:31

A perfect solution.

Original poster

myfaceismyown · 22/11/2024 23:29

@RedHelenB Thank you for the thought. However, no, i am not going to stop at a random primary school that has nothing to do with me and apologise to a lollypop lady for beeping at her yesterday. She probably thought i was beeping at the blocking car. She will not have heard me shout you beast from inside my car, that was for my own venting.
Now I think about it, I can just stay in the college car park (in the next town) and wait for my DS all day, I can WFCar instead of WFH as long as I have my laptop and wifi...

OP posts:

Yourinmyspot · 22/11/2024 23:25

DancingFerret · 22/11/2024 20:50

What I don't understand is why lollipop bearers stop traffic to allow adults unaccompanied by children to cross the road; I thought their job was to enable safe crossing for children and any accompanying parents.

Could someone enlighten me, please?

I’m a lollipop lady, and yes we are told to stop traffic to let all pedestrians cross be they children or lone adults.

RedHelenB · 22/11/2024 23:24

myfaceismyown · 21/11/2024 22:00

Do you think I should email the school?

Show quote history

No. You should be a bit more patient. A lollipop lady is entitled to hold up traffic to let a lone parent cross. Just set off a bit earlier as others have said. Oh and apologise for losing your temper and being rude on Monday.

ImNunTheWiser · 22/11/2024 23:24

myfaceismyown · 22/11/2024 23:05

@ImNunTheWiser well she was unmanaging the traffic flow - is that allowed too?

As stated, it’s literally nothing to do with her. She is only there to assist people to safely cross the road. That’s it. It’s up to drivers to manage their own situation, if they’re unable to do so without losing their rag and resorting to shouting and inappropriate use of the horn, they should consider whether they’re safe driving.

Original poster

myfaceismyown · 22/11/2024 23:23

@Yourinmyspot I could hug you! you sound absolutely wonderful at your job. I hope you are appreciated.

OP posts:

Yourinmyspot · 22/11/2024 23:20

I’m a lollipop lady, and I don’t always get it right. We are told to stop traffic for anyone crossing. I just use common sense though in these situations. I try to be considerate to vehicles for example if there is only one coming I will let them pass before stepping out, and always make sure I wave thank you. Pedestrians can be unpredictable, they look like they are going to cross then stop and chat to someone instead.

It can be difficult at times, as it’s one side of a crossroads I work on and it doesn’t help when people leave it to the last minute to indicate or park on the junction causing chaos.

I wouldn’t say anything unless it happens often, and where I am we are employed by the council not the school.

huuskymam · 22/11/2024 23:17

2 schools on a road on my school run, mere meters apart, have pedestrian lights between them and a crossing guard that presses the button for you. The old crossing guard used to stop traffic at the entrance to one school and after letting kids cross, would hold up traffic to let cars in and out of the school. Not just one or two, but at least 5 or 6 from both directions. There must have been complaints cause she didn't last longer than 3 months.

Original poster

myfaceismyown · 22/11/2024 23:09

@DoreenonTill8 My point is that i did not say a lot worse. I did not wind down my windows and verbally abuse the woman. I did not threaten anyone. Oh my word you must have the patience of a saint, or possibly recently cannonised. But I do appreciate your comments.

OP posts:

DoreenonTill8 · 22/11/2024 23:06

myfaceismyown · 22/11/2024 23:01

I could have said a lot worse!

Show quote history

Why?! Why would you have been more verbally abusive?
Do you think that's funny?
Swearing and threatening people 'cos it is'.

Original poster

myfaceismyown · 22/11/2024 23:05

@ImNunTheWiser well she was unmanaging the traffic flow - is that allowed too?

OP posts:

Original poster

myfaceismyown · 22/11/2024 23:01

Trinity65 · 22/11/2024 23:01

You Beast 😄😄

I could have said a lot worse!

OP posts:

Trinity65 · 22/11/2024 23:01

You Beast 😄😄

ImNunTheWiser · 22/11/2024 22:59

It’s her job to help pedestrians, including adults, safely cross the road, not to manage traffic flow. In fact they’re expressly told not to. When my DDs were at primary school, their village school ended up without a crossing patrol after successive SCPs left due to the constant abuse from drivers. I always wondered what sort of person would abuse them when they’re literally doing their job of keeping people safe.

MiddleParking · 22/11/2024 22:59

I don’t understand how you could think you are being reasonable. Don’t get me wrong I’m sure we all sometimes bip our horn out of annoyance instead of for its true purpose/curse at other road users, but surely we all actually know we’re being unreasonable even as we do that? And you shouldn’t need to be told to let a pedestrian cross before going yourself if there’s a break in the traffic!

Original poster

myfaceismyown · 22/11/2024 22:55

@DoreenonTill8 You are missing the point I think. I had been indicating to overtake the blocking car for all the time I was stuck. As I started to move off the lollipop lady jumped out in front of me. I was alarmed.
if she had been more observant the blockage would have cleared quickly.

OP posts:

DoreenonTill8 · 22/11/2024 22:51

So how long did it take for this one parent to cross the road, and how long did it delay you?..

Original poster

myfaceismyown · 22/11/2024 22:45

@Onthesideofthespiders I have already answered why I did not get out of the car. I am pretty sure that the lollipop lady and the 2 ladies with her will have thought I honked at the car. But i did honk at her because she stopped me when I, and the traffic queue behind me, had a chance to pass. She stopped me as a parent had literally just arrived at the other side of the road. One or two minutes wait and we could have all got through.

OP posts:

Onthesideofthespiders · 22/11/2024 22:42

But why would you honk at the lollipop lady and not at the driver of the car blocking you? Or go and speak to the driver of the car?

Original poster

myfaceismyown · 22/11/2024 22:36

@DoreenonTill8 As I have said. I got to the blocking car at just before 3pm, way before end of day. I do not think that can anyway be taken as a busy school day morning at prime school pick up time....

OP posts:

DoreenonTill8 · 22/11/2024 22:33

Agree with pp that find it incredulous that on a busy school day morning, she 'nattered' for 20 mins during prime school pick up time!

Original poster

myfaceismyown · 22/11/2024 22:27

@DoreenonTill8 Of course it is not crazy for her to stop the traffic to let one person cross. However, had she been aware that traffic had been building up behind the blocking car for getting on for 20 mins, and that there was a gap in the oncoming traffic which would have relieved the situation, she could have waited one or two minutes without greatly inconveniencing the lone parent arriving to cross the road.
Fortunately Pelican crossing do not have a natter with those nearby and forget to use their lights.

OP posts:

DoreenonTill8 · 22/11/2024 22:23

Why is it 'crazy ' for her to do her job of stopping traffic to let people safely cross? Do you call pelican crossings crazy when the green man comes on but you want to go?

Original poster

myfaceismyown · 22/11/2024 22:18

@Magnastorm You are entitled to your opinion, as we all are, and thank you for taking the time to post on this thread. incidentally, I did not scream, just shouted, and the windows were up so she won't have heard me :)
She did not hold me up, I did not say she did. She was so busy nattering to 2 of the Mums that she did not notice what was happening with the traffic. When I had a chance to overtake the parent from her school in the car blocking the road, she stopped me. Crazy behaviour. That is why I lost my normally composed demeanor and for once made myself heard.

OP posts:

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