Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Getting cross with the crossing patrol!

90 replies

myfaceismyown · 21/11/2024 21:29

3 days a week I drive my adult DS to his special needs college in a neighbouring town,
I have to drive along a very long busy road that has 2 primary schools, one secondary school and therefore 3 crossing patrols. Normally not an issue and I wave back when they salute a "thank you".
Not today. today I nearly lost it. At the top of the hill, 3rd patrol, the lollipop lady was having a lovely natter with a couple of primary school parents, totally oblivious to a parent indicating to get onto the school road and totally blocking the traffic. This was 3pm so not chucking out time yet. Lollipopper jumped into action to stop the oncoming traffic to let a lone parent across. She then thanked me and I mimed a shrug as I was stuck behind the idiot parent blocking the road. I had a queue of cars stuck behind me as it is a busy thoughfair, and the only direct route to the next town.
So I am indicating to pull out round this blocking car and - hurrah! - there is a break in the oncoming traffic. Instantly nattering lollipop lady jumps into action to stick her pole out to allow another lone parent to cross. Ugh. I never do this but I jammed my hand on the horn, gave her a thumbs down and shouted "you beast", which she probably did not hear.
I did finally get round the idiot blocking person but was late fetching DS which caused him distress.
So AIBU to think that crossing patrol person should have paid as much attention to the traffic as they did to their chat?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Yourinmyspot · 25/11/2024 10:46

We are not there to manage traffic and are told not to gesture at drivers or use hand signals to direct them.

A lot of it is common sense and knowing your regulars, both people crossing and vehicles. A lot of the regular vehicles are aware I’m there and are more ready to stop. I don’t jump out in front of traffic.

if I’ve been stood out a while as a few have been crossing and it was safer for everyone that I stayed on the road I will ask pedestrians coming to wait while I let some vehicles past. It’s balancing safety, common sense and pedestrians/ vehicles.

I try to be courteous to all and don’t always get it right but ultimately it’s the pedestrians who are most vulnerable.

Magnastorm · 25/11/2024 10:26

Threelittleduck · 24/11/2024 18:59

Of course it's the crossing patrol's fault, at least partly. She was holding up the traffic by chatting to other parents.
Not the OPs fault and I took would have been angry and emailing the school too..

Show quote history

How is it the responsibility of the crossing patrol that traffic is being held up by a driver stopping and blocking the road, exactly?

The job of the crossing patroller is to help people cross the road outside a school, not to manage traffic.

Isthisreasonable · 25/11/2024 00:56

The lollipop lady near us stops the traffic when any pedestrian is within 4 car lengths of the crossing so traffic has to wait while the pedestrian(s) walk to the crossing which can take several minutes if people are wrangling toddlers/prams as well as school children.

It's interesting that pp have said that SCP are not supposed to manage/be alert to traffic flow. The lollipop lady by us has obviously taken that to heart as there is frequently gridlock caused by ignoring the traffic flow. Obviously safer for the children with traffic at a stand still but not so much for the blood pressure of inpatient drivers.

Original poster
myfaceismyown · 25/11/2024 00:29

Thank you all for your contributions. In my original post my AIBU was "So AIBU to think that crossing patrol person should have paid as much attention to the traffic as they did to their chat?"
Apparently 63% of you think that the chat was more important. Ah, the wonders of Mumsnet!

OP posts:
florizel13 · 24/11/2024 22:19

harriethoyle · 24/11/2024 21:24

I applaud your use of “you beast!” as an insult @myfaceismyown regardless of the wrongs and rights of the situation 🤣👌🏻

I agree 😂 OP, I don't know whether you're right or wrong but I love your style of writing...you have really made me laugh!

Original poster
myfaceismyown · 24/11/2024 21:24

@Babbahabba just waiting for a gap then got blocked by someone who was too busy chatting to realise what was happening. Nothing more to it really.

OP posts:
harriethoyle · 24/11/2024 21:24

I applaud your use of “you beast!” as an insult @myfaceismyown regardless of the wrongs and rights of the situation 🤣👌🏻

Babbahabba · 24/11/2024 21:20

I don't understand how you could express such anger towards the lollipop lady but be so passive and "patient" towards the idiot driver who was in the wrong? Your post is very contradictory.

Tiredofallthis101 · 24/11/2024 20:27

I would have waited a few mins then beeped the blocking car. Lollipop lady was an idiot but the fault lies with the blocking car who should have moved.

Original poster
myfaceismyown · 24/11/2024 19:51

@MiddleParking if you read my last post you would comprehend why I posted. Your post is a fascinating insight into the inner workings of the human psyche. Most enlightening. You must be a very calm driver who never gets irritated however vexing the situation may be. Thank you for your input.

OP posts:
MiddleParking · 24/11/2024 19:12

myfaceismyown · 24/11/2024 16:59

@MiddleParking the pedestrian had literally just arrived on the other side of the road. I am sure she would not have been greatly inconvenienced by waiting one minute. The queue my side had been waiting nearly 20 minutes until there was a gap.... Fortunately one of the lovely lollipop ladies who has posted on this thread understands about priorities.

It doesn’t take a pedestrian a minute to cross a road, unless you’ve left an important detail out of the story. It takes less time than that and you should have waited for that length of time without being told to. How long you’ve waited in traffic isn’t the pedestrian’s problem. You drove badly and behaved badly and you clearly think that’s okay so god knows why you posted 🤷🏻‍♀️

Threelittleduck · 24/11/2024 18:59

TitchyBiteroo · 22/11/2024 08:32

This is not crossing patrol’s fault.

This is heavy traffic and bad blue car’s fault.

You don’t like being late for your kid - understandable - but sometimes you will be, and there will not always be a way to direct your frustration appropriately.

Jamming your horn at pedestrians and crossing patrol isn’t justifiable at all - in fact it’s not allowed, road rules speaking.

You were frustrated in your big vehicle, and took it out in angry aggressive behaviour towards pedestrians who were vulnerable in the road already in a gnarly blocked road where it feels unsafe.

And now you’re here posting to try for validation because I think you know you were unreasonable.

Of course it's the crossing patrol's fault, at least partly. She was holding up the traffic by chatting to other parents.
Not the OPs fault and I took would have been angry and emailing the school too..

Original poster
myfaceismyown · 24/11/2024 18:15

@TitchyBiteroo I have just repeated the facts continuously. Some posters have invented a different , far more inflamatory narrative, which includes yourself, so I have just factually repeated what had happened. One beep, one shout, one gesture. Was it unreasonable behaviour? For me it was as I should never lose my temper. I wanted to know what others thought, or what they would have done in my situation and it has had a mixed result. Adding your extra details to the story, however imaginatively, does not really answer my question. But I do thank you for your input.

OP posts:
TitchyBiteroo · 24/11/2024 17:53

Just so we’re clear then, you were not asking whether you were being unreasonable, and you don’t like people saying you were unreasonable, and you’re going to keep juggling the exact intention of your beeping the horn, shouting and gesturing so that you feel ok about how you behaved.

Got it.

love AIBUs like this.

AIBU?

yes…

nope, no I wasn’t because blah blah blah.

Original poster
myfaceismyown · 24/11/2024 16:59

@MiddleParking the pedestrian had literally just arrived on the other side of the road. I am sure she would not have been greatly inconvenienced by waiting one minute. The queue my side had been waiting nearly 20 minutes until there was a gap.... Fortunately one of the lovely lollipop ladies who has posted on this thread understands about priorities.

OP posts:
MiddleParking · 24/11/2024 16:46

myfaceismyown · 23/11/2024 17:05

Indeed it is her job. But surely not exactly common sense to spring out in front of a car that has been indicating to move out, and when there is a gap starts moving, no?

Show quote history

There wasn’t a gap, as there was a pedestrian there. You should have been letting the pedestrian go first without having to be made to. It was you that was discourteous.

Original poster
myfaceismyown · 24/11/2024 12:54

@TitchyBiteroo I am wondering if you have a secret desire to be a lollipop lady?
In answer to your last post, the lollipop lady in question only sprung out once, in front of me. She was between the blocking car and my car, when I had already started to move off.
I did not "beep and gesticulate at pedestrians". I beeped once as I overtook the blocking car after the single parent had crossed the road, and I gave a thumbs down to the lollipop lady. I felt remorse as it was uncharacteristic behaviour. You seem to be writing your own version of my account.

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 23/11/2024 23:26

Our lollipop people were told not to cross lone adults only adults with children and children

20 minutes is amazingly patient

TitchyBiteroo · 23/11/2024 23:20

Lollipop lady is doing a lot of springing and jumping, very alarming and crazy - despite being oblivious and nattering.

OP’s determination to justify getting cross, beeping and gesturing at someone who did nothing wrong is impressive.

Very big and brave from the driving seat of your vehicle with the windows safely up to beep and gesticulate at pedestrians crossing in front of the car. Well done you.

RedHelenB · 23/11/2024 20:44

DaniMontyRae · 23/11/2024 01:04

How is reacting after an almost 20 minute hold up, impatient?

Show quote history

She was impatient with the lollipop lady who submit hold her up for 30 mins. HTH.

Original poster
myfaceismyown · 23/11/2024 17:05

Magnastorm · 23/11/2024 16:49

It's not crazy behaviour to assist people across the road. That's literally her job.

The reason you were held up was because of other drivers.

Show quote history

Indeed it is her job. But surely not exactly common sense to spring out in front of a car that has been indicating to move out, and when there is a gap starts moving, no?

OP posts:
Magnastorm · 23/11/2024 16:49

myfaceismyown · 22/11/2024 22:18

@Magnastorm You are entitled to your opinion, as we all are, and thank you for taking the time to post on this thread. incidentally, I did not scream, just shouted, and the windows were up so she won't have heard me :)
She did not hold me up, I did not say she did. She was so busy nattering to 2 of the Mums that she did not notice what was happening with the traffic. When I had a chance to overtake the parent from her school in the car blocking the road, she stopped me. Crazy behaviour. That is why I lost my normally composed demeanor and for once made myself heard.

It's not crazy behaviour to assist people across the road. That's literally her job.

The reason you were held up was because of other drivers.

Yourinmyspot · 23/11/2024 12:10

myfaceismyown · 22/11/2024 23:23

@Yourinmyspot I could hug you! you sound absolutely wonderful at your job. I hope you are appreciated.

Thanks, I love my job. Seeing everyone’s smiles in the morning is so lovely. A lot of the regular drivers often wave at me too.

DaniMontyRae · 23/11/2024 01:04

RedHelenB · 22/11/2024 23:24

No. You should be a bit more patient. A lollipop lady is entitled to hold up traffic to let a lone parent cross. Just set off a bit earlier as others have said. Oh and apologise for losing your temper and being rude on Monday.

Show quote history

How is reacting after an almost 20 minute hold up, impatient?

Original poster
myfaceismyown · 23/11/2024 00:04

@ImNunTheWiser I guess you have read the thread and are still none the wiser.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread