To not understand why people want involved in laws

Why don’t you ask your DP why he continues to bother with his in-laws?

Your inlaws are not complete strangers to your husband and he might want his children(yes, they aren't just yours) to have a close relationship with his parents. You sound like one of those awful DILs that excludes their husbands family from their lives.

@anonymoussse so what about your parents? They are essentially strangers to your dh. I think describing them as “essentially strangers “ when it’s their son’s children is so so weird. I say this as someone who has extremely difficult inlaws (as in alcoholic and mental health problems inlaws) so the absolute opposite of support but they are my husband’s parents and my children’s grandparents-they are not strangers.

How on earth can my husband’s parents, my children’s grandparents be considered strangers??

How sad.

Errr because they are equal grandparents
They are your partners parents
Are you for real?

You understand that your parents are inlaws too don't you? Would you not wish for your parents to have a relationship with your children?

For me mil and fil where the grandparents that gave unconditional love. I loved watching them with our 4. My mum was really uninterested and ai am ever grateful my inlaws wanted to love my children and cared about them. Fil died when they were young. But mil was around until they were late teens. My mother died when they were early teens. My dad is interested but distant.

For me the inlaws had blod w my child and I loved watching their bond. Yes that may have been as I had a close relationship with my grandparents including my step grandparents . I dont see that as a bad thing I see it as a positive one.

My in-laws aren't strangers. I'd known them for nearly 8 years before we had DC. They are kind, loving, easygoing people.

This is not everyone's experience, I understand that people have very different relationships with their in-laws. It can't really be that outlandish a notion to you that many people are genuinely closer to their extended family than you are?

I don’t really understand it, but my in-laws are horrible, so I can’t imagine what it feels like to want to spend time with in-laws.
I think for most ‘normal’ families it must be about maintaining relationships for the sake of their partner and/or DC who ARE blood related to the in-laws. They may not be your family, but they are the rest of your family units family.

Some people like their families and want them to be around, and be around for their children.

I also think just lacking a support network is very hard, and so it can be frustrating when that possible support network just isn’t interested.