To not go on this holiday

Watch out for her dragging you into some sort of meals anyway...
Like oh will we just grab a coffee...
Or go down for breakfast...etc.

Awkward every time - that's why I'd spell it all out at the start to her.
In this case including telling her that you won't go for meals with her because she's taken advantage of you in the past.

Sorry @Ickityick it looks like I'm getting so invested in this ... I just hate seeing people get taken advantage of.

She sounds awful. But if you've been away with her before, you must have known this when you agreed to go on holiday with her a second time?!

If you want to pull out of the holiday then pull out rather than go on a holiday you'll hate. It will obviously be the end of your friendship, but it sounds like that's what you want anyway, as you dislike her and find her behaviour really difficult to deal with.

Ah. So she doesn't get it, that you buy your own stuff. Tricky! You shouldn't have to teach a grown adult how to behave. But people can learn. Sounds as if you're going to have to spell it all out to her, re this and the money, if you two are going to get along on this trip.

If it’s a package holiday, I’d cancel wven if it meant losing money. Sharing a room but going separate ways would just be too awkward and stressful for me. I wouldn’t want to be getting showered etc with them in the room. How would you even work out a rota. If there’s bad feeling there won’t be much consideration when coming back to the room late at night. That doesn’t sound like a holiday so it would probably be a waste of money.

If you’ve booked the accommodation and your flights separately then definitely go but to a different hotel. Maybe with someone else but even if you go alone it will be a much happier experience than going with someone you don’t get on with and just don’t like anymore.

....you can see why I think it's worth forgoing the cost to date and just not going...

@Ickityick
Actually if you did go I would be really really really direct about all this - "brazen" she (the CF non friend) may call it.
Like call her out on it, from the start and every each time, in advance and post hoc.

First your initial message should be really explicit and quote all the things she's done and she might do. You should tell her all that to her face when you see her at the start as well.

Then - ideally not go for meals with her at all. But if you have to, before heading off for each meal re-state that you will only be paying for yourself and not subsidising her. And then say it again when you sit down and tell the waiter separate bills at the start of the meal.

When you get to the room tell her clearly she's not to use your toiletries and that you're locking them up.
Etc etc.

Because this CF shamelessness thrives because people don't want to make things awkward and hence don't say anything.

Instead the CFs should be shamed out loudly and things brought into the light.

@Ickityick
I still think it will be such hassle, strife, either having to watch like a hawk over every single thing and argue about it, or giving up on some things and then seething about her getting one on you again.

"Alternatively you could suggest a pre holiday meal and if she tries to get you to pay for her drinks/meal, just tell her that she is obviously going to expect you to pay for her while you're away so the holiday won't be happening."

Definitely do this OP.
Otherwise it will be a battle over every little thing over the holiday.
(Really I would cut my losses and just not go.)

If you go ask about another room when you get there, if they aren't full they'd rather have it full than sitting empty.

Pay for your own, if she hasn't got money that's her problem. Ask for separate bills before you order food.

It’s somewhere in thread.

Honestly OP, result is likely the same whatever you do.

Don’t go = CFer hates you and you hate her anyway. Oh well.
Do go = likely a huge row but abroad and stuck in a room so end up hating each other.

Small chance I guess that if you go you work things out… and end up liking her again.

In your place, I’d probably stay home.

What was the CF thing she did that led to you not speaking to her ?

Poor you, this is a crappy situation.
I'd maybe message to ask if she's still planning on going and ask how much spending money she's allocated.
Depending on what she replies, you could respond that you're considering not going given that you don't feel like an equal to her, more her subsidiser, and it makes holidays with her much less fun.

Why didn'you cancel the holiday then? I don't understand how you could even think it would be a good idea after 2 weeks of NC, let alone months.
Cancel!

To me it's the cost of the week...

Both:

Both how much you paid?

How much annual leave you'd lose to have to tolerate this nonsense?

PS I'd be more annoyed at using Annaul leave... Unless the holiday cost 3k!

If it were a cheap holiday - I'd just cancel.

I'm really in two minds about whether I'd go or not. I'd be really annoyed at missing my own holiday but you just know that no matter what you say/email/text she'll rock up with 50 euros and.minimal stuff and still expect. Free ride.
Wasn't there a thread with an OP who was in Italy with a friend who basically did the same and was practically crying because she was hungry but had no money so the OP was paying. I can just see this CF doing something similar and it would be so hard to say no

Good point!!! Sometimes hotels ask for a card per room to charge extras to. It has to be her card or you’ll have to refuse to hand one over which the hotel may not like, but they won’t chuck you out for it.

If you are the lead booker, can she still actually go if you decide not to ?

Definitely have your own room. You’ll need it.
Despite the expense this will massively help you.

I would go because I would hate to lose a holiday, but I would downgrade her to room mate status rather than friend.

For meals, people are funny, as if a bill splitting app would make any difference with this type of person. I would only eat with her in self service restaurants where each person pays at the till - make her go first so she doesn't try to make you pay, or if it's a restaurant she gives you her share up front or you won't eat with her.

DO NOT GO. Especially as you already know she is an absolute tightwad CF. It will be the opposite of a holiday as you won't be able to relax.

I still get flashbacks from a terrible holiday if I smell lemon washing up liquid and that was thirty five years ago.

It was beyond dreadful, ended up with me splitting from my ex and him and his brother never speaking again.