Page 4 | To not go on this holiday

Ickityick · 2024-11-21T20:23:56+00:00

Booked and paid for a winter break a long time ago. Person I'm going with has been hugely irritating me the last few months with their general tightness and CFness. We are sharing a room. Should I go or write it off!

Growlingteddybear · 23/11/2024 08:58

I think on arrival at the hotel ask at reception if they have any spare single rooms. Or is the hotel available to book online a room only before you go? I know you said it would be expensive but if you can scrape the money together I think it would be worth it for peace of mind and to have proper relaxation. I'd put it on a Credit card if it were me. The thought of having to lock up your toiletries is truly ridiculous and I couldn't holiday like that.

Original poster

Ickityick · 23/11/2024 08:53

rookiemere · 23/11/2024 08:42

Thinking about it, it's actually quite amazing that she paid her full share up of the original holiday.

We paid over 6 months a while back, money came out my account monthly and so I chased her every month to pay...

OP posts:

honeypancake · 23/11/2024 08:46

You are allowed to change your mind. Don't go. If you say she sucks the fun out of it and you won't really enjoy your holiday, life is too short for that! Money's lost but if won't enjoy the holiday then what's the point? She can still find another friend to go with and they take your place? It doesn't matter whose name the accommodation is booked in, that can certainly be changed?

rookiemere · 23/11/2024 08:42

Thinking about it, it's actually quite amazing that she paid her full share up of the original holiday.

SoiledMyselfDuringSomeTurbulence · 23/11/2024 08:42

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 22/11/2024 19:41

Please please please make absolutely sure she can’t charge anything to the room. She will completely fuck you over if she can.

Yes this. I think I'd contact the hotel in advance and ask what they can put in place to ensure separate bills. Make sure there's a paper trail.

I might be tempted to get some cheapo toiletries and just take those too, one less thing to worry about. Supermarkets usually have a shampoo and conditioner for £1 etc.

Original poster

Ickityick · 23/11/2024 08:41

EmpressaurusKitty · 23/11/2024 08:35

It’s really hard to believe she’ll actually go at this point!

Unless she’s either supremely confident that she can get round you or is ready to pay her own way if she doesn’t. But the atmosphere in the room is likely to be absolutely awful.

She will absolutely go I have no doubt.

Haven't heard back since I sent her specific examples of freeloading, but she would never not go on a holiday if she had paid for it, probably quite sensibly.!

OP posts:

EmpressaurusKitty · 23/11/2024 08:35

It’s really hard to believe she’ll actually go at this point!

Unless she’s either supremely confident that she can get round you or is ready to pay her own way if she doesn’t. But the atmosphere in the room is likely to be absolutely awful.

Original poster

Ickityick · 23/11/2024 07:48

JingsMahBucket · 23/11/2024 05:13

@Ickityick how much did this holiday actually cost? How many days is it? Is it all inclusive or just flight and hotel?

It's 10 days, bed and breakfast , under 600 quid each !

OP posts:

ApolloandDaphne · 23/11/2024 07:13

It's going to be an interesting holiday given you are sharing a room!

JingsMahBucket · 23/11/2024 05:13

@Ickityick how much did this holiday actually cost? How many days is it? Is it all inclusive or just flight and hotel?

RawBloomers · 23/11/2024 04:39

Ickityick · 22/11/2024 21:35

Forgot this one in the summer...

She was at mine, asked to borrow some headphones, whilst I went to look for an old spare pair for her she noticed a brand new boxed set in my open handbag and said I will use these.

Got them back off her sharpish , reminds me I've never had the other pair back off her!

Show quote history

She just happened to need to borrow some headphones the day you’d bought new ones? I bet she saw them and wanted them and that’s why she asked in the first place.

NoBiscuitsLeftInMyTin · 23/11/2024 03:21

Go on the holiday, the money is spent anyway, you’ve told her how you feel and that you won’t be subsidising her trip (well done btw!) do your own thing and don’t buy her F all…..

and enjoy it knowing that you won’t be spending a penny on her.

i say this having been on many trips with people (some who have no money but make an effort to pay) and sometimes go to very expensive restaurants/bars but knowing this I’ll happily pay the bill because I value their company/friendship so they make it up in that way.

Thevelvelletes · 22/11/2024 21:52

Get her out of your life full stop.
Bin the holiday and never set eyes on her again.

Original poster

Ickityick · 22/11/2024 21:35

Ickityick · 22/11/2024 19:02

For me they were not petty and I think the last 6 months has been cumulative so now I just can't bear it and notice it more.

Going out for dinner 3 times, twice pleaded absolute poverty and the third time gave a sob story so didn't pay on any of those occasions, then not long after bought expensive concert ticket, wanted to go out for cocktails and then after I bought the first round refused to go to the bar and we sat there with empty glasses until I had to go again, angry at myself for not calling her out there and then.

Invites herself to mine, then eats all my food, drinks all my wine and leaves a right mess behind, have stopped saying yes to this now.

The rest are borrowing/taking my things , not returning, and never remembering to pay me back for her share of taxis/takeaways etc or thanking me for treating her when we were supposed to be going halves.

Gets quite arsy when asked for money back so its always awkward getting her to pay back, as I have to ask several times etc and she will tell me how tight things are etc.

I could go on, but you get the gist of it.

Show quote history

Forgot this one in the summer...

She was at mine, asked to borrow some headphones, whilst I went to look for an old spare pair for her she noticed a brand new boxed set in my open handbag and said I will use these.

Got them back off her sharpish , reminds me I've never had the other pair back off her!

OP posts:

Ewock · 22/11/2024 20:50

Anotherworrier · 22/11/2024 19:05

Um, ok?

My point really was that her friend has a different POV to OP.

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No you quite pointedly said she had apologised, when she has in fact not. Yes she has a different pov as she doesn't feel her cf behaviour should be ppinted out. But regardless it was not an apology

RampantIvy · 22/11/2024 20:25

My point really was that her friend has a different POV to OP.

@Anotherworrier Yes, a "how much can I get away with not paying" point of view.

A "sorry you feel this way" is not an apology in any shape or form, and if you think it is then you are either a CF or you have very low boundaries.

IAm16StoneHalloween2024 · 22/11/2024 19:56

Ickityick · 22/11/2024 19:02

For me they were not petty and I think the last 6 months has been cumulative so now I just can't bear it and notice it more.

Going out for dinner 3 times, twice pleaded absolute poverty and the third time gave a sob story so didn't pay on any of those occasions, then not long after bought expensive concert ticket, wanted to go out for cocktails and then after I bought the first round refused to go to the bar and we sat there with empty glasses until I had to go again, angry at myself for not calling her out there and then.

Invites herself to mine, then eats all my food, drinks all my wine and leaves a right mess behind, have stopped saying yes to this now.

The rest are borrowing/taking my things , not returning, and never remembering to pay me back for her share of taxis/takeaways etc or thanking me for treating her when we were supposed to be going halves.

Gets quite arsy when asked for money back so its always awkward getting her to pay back, as I have to ask several times etc and she will tell me how tight things are etc.

I could go on, but you get the gist of it.

Show quote history

The only apology I’d accept would include full reimbursement tbh.

After this trip, just drop her.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 22/11/2024 19:41

Please please please make absolutely sure she can’t charge anything to the room. She will completely fuck you over if she can.

catlesslady · 22/11/2024 19:08

OP- do you think she will actually go if she realises that you she will have to pay for herself (and bring her own toiletries etc)? If you think there's a chance she might not turn up at the airport/pull our last minute I'd recommend that you contact whoever you booked with to check whether there's anything you need to do to be able to travel without her. A few years ago I tried to take one of our party off a flight quite close to the time (she ended up working closer to another airport that week, so it would have made sense for her to travel alone and meet us there). I was told that we'd basically all have to cancel or all go and that if she just didn't show for the flight we 'may' not be allowed to travel as we were on one booking. I'm not sure what the issue was, or if perhaps the fact that she wanted to come back with us made a difference, as she agreed in the end that we'd just stick to the original plan.

Anotherworrier · 22/11/2024 19:05

Ewock · 22/11/2024 18:46

If you think that was an apology I have no idea what to say to you it was the biggest non apology ever. She's sorry she feels that way - is not an apology

Show quote history

Um, ok?

My point really was that her friend has a different POV to OP.

Original poster

Ickityick · 22/11/2024 19:04

Gemmawemma9 · 22/11/2024 18:38

Is it just me who finds it really strange that at one point you were close enough to book a holiday abroad with her and now you’re communicating via email?
This is going to be the most awkward trip ever, I honestly wouldn’t bother going.

Yes It is odd, and thats on me as I have got progressively more irritated this year at what I see as being treated like an idiot, I'm also cross with myself for allowing it to continue for so long

OP posts:

Original poster

Ickityick · 22/11/2024 19:02

Vax · 22/11/2024 18:33

What were the 7 examples? Decent things or petty?

For me they were not petty and I think the last 6 months has been cumulative so now I just can't bear it and notice it more.

Going out for dinner 3 times, twice pleaded absolute poverty and the third time gave a sob story so didn't pay on any of those occasions, then not long after bought expensive concert ticket, wanted to go out for cocktails and then after I bought the first round refused to go to the bar and we sat there with empty glasses until I had to go again, angry at myself for not calling her out there and then.

Invites herself to mine, then eats all my food, drinks all my wine and leaves a right mess behind, have stopped saying yes to this now.

The rest are borrowing/taking my things , not returning, and never remembering to pay me back for her share of taxis/takeaways etc or thanking me for treating her when we were supposed to be going halves.

Gets quite arsy when asked for money back so its always awkward getting her to pay back, as I have to ask several times etc and she will tell me how tight things are etc.

I could go on, but you get the gist of it.

OP posts:

Ewock · 22/11/2024 18:46

Anotherworrier · 22/11/2024 18:16

She did. She just has a different POV from OP.

Show quote history

If you think that was an apology I have no idea what to say to you it was the biggest non apology ever. She's sorry she feels that way - is not an apology

Gemmawemma9 · 22/11/2024 18:38

Is it just me who finds it really strange that at one point you were close enough to book a holiday abroad with her and now you’re communicating via email?
This is going to be the most awkward trip ever, I honestly wouldn’t bother going.

Vax · 22/11/2024 18:33

What were the 7 examples? Decent things or petty?