Page 2 | To not go on this holiday

Ickityick · 2024-11-21T20:23:56+00:00

Booked and paid for a winter break a long time ago. Person I'm going with has been hugely irritating me the last few months with their general tightness and CFness. We are sharing a room. Should I go or write it off!

Thevelvelletes · 24/11/2024 09:36

Wise move op
Enjoy your two weeks off and treat yourself.

Yoyokitten · 24/11/2024 09:31

Aww sorry it came to this, but it sounds as if you've made the right decision.
The thought of locking your toiletries up and policing her every move, not eating together and then sharing a room is bonkers !.
Have a lovely time whatever you do.

Vax · 24/11/2024 09:20

Sorry you've missed out, I hope you enjoy your time off anyway.

Original poster

Ickityick · 24/11/2024 09:19

Silvers11 · 24/11/2024 09:13

I hope your 'friend' doesn't do the same thing

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I've sent her a message saying I'm not going!

OP posts:

Silvers11 · 24/11/2024 09:13

Ickityick · 24/11/2024 09:07

Thanks everyone, it's been a lot to think about and I have been swinging one way and the other for the last 2 days.

In the end the complete lack of apology means I have decided not to go, my annual leave is too precious to be on edge and locking my belongings away every day.

I have cancelled my flight and got my air passenger tax back, that's a 100 quid nearly and she is on the booking solo now.

Life is too short to put up with someone completely disrespecting me!

Stuck in a hotel room with her for 10 nights would be hell for me as I am so resentful now, and it's throwing good money after bad to go!

I hope your 'friend' doesn't do the same thing

Jellyslothbridge · 24/11/2024 09:09

Are you tempted not to let her know you are not going? I guess however she may do the same!

Original poster

Ickityick · 24/11/2024 09:07

Thanks everyone, it's been a lot to think about and I have been swinging one way and the other for the last 2 days.

In the end the complete lack of apology means I have decided not to go, my annual leave is too precious to be on edge and locking my belongings away every day.

I have cancelled my flight and got my air passenger tax back, that's a 100 quid nearly and she is on the booking solo now.

Life is too short to put up with someone completely disrespecting me!

Stuck in a hotel room with her for 10 nights would be hell for me as I am so resentful now, and it's throwing good money after bad to go!

OP posts:

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 24/11/2024 08:50

Ickityick · 23/11/2024 22:16

I don't think she would do this!

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After everything else she’s done you still trust her? You’ve told her you’re on to her, she won’t like that. It may well make her worse. You’re taking a big risk with this. Of the booking is in your name you’ll be responsible for the bill. At the very least you need to contact the hotel and make sure she can’t do this.

mathanxiety · 24/11/2024 03:03

Anotherworrier · 22/11/2024 13:36

It’s just saying she doesn’t agree with her, she can’t make her friend agree with what she’s saying. Seems a bit much to be raging that her friend has a different POV and now OP has lost her temper and probably not come across to well in her next email?

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No, you're completely wrong.

It absolutely doesn't mean what you think it means. Have you been using this phrase as an apology?

mathanxiety · 24/11/2024 03:00

Anotherworrier · 22/11/2024 13:06

You’re raging that she apologised? I’m confused.

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"I'm sorry you feel that way" means "Fuck off".

It's not an apology.

mathanxiety · 24/11/2024 02:52

Ickityick · 22/11/2024 09:01

I am going to go and do my own thing, I will take headphones and only enough toiletries sun screen etc for myself and absolutely not lending or paying for her share for anything

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And a padlock for your suitcase.

ThinWomansBrain · 23/11/2024 23:22

If you go, and go out with her when there, check every time that she has cash or card with her BEFORE you leave the hotel.

Is it worth looking at other hotels/airbnb for your own room - either now or once there?

If you do share a room (or even if you don't, given it's in your name) make it clear that she is not to charge anything to room service - refuse to give your card details to the hotel if you can,

PyongyangKipperbang · 23/11/2024 23:22

pineapplesundae · 23/11/2024 23:12

I think you’ll be happier with a separate room. Just find the money.

Yes @Ickityick just pull £650 out of your arse!!

PyongyangKipperbang · 23/11/2024 23:20

Ickityick · 23/11/2024 22:16

I don't think she would do this!

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But you didnt think she would wreck your clothes, steal your personal toiletries and not pay back money she owes you......but she did.

Insist that there is no room service delivered to your room, make sure they understand that you are not paying for it so if it does happen, they are paying for it and not you.

PyongyangKipperbang · 23/11/2024 23:18

So when she inevitably pulls the "Oh I didnt bring enough money with me, its more expensive than I thought" card, as she will, say "I dont understand why you agree to do things you cant afford and just expect other people to pay for you. If I cant afford to do something, I dont do it. I dont agree to book something and then mug off someone else. Why do you do that?"

And keep throwing it back. "Why do you keep doing things that you say you cant afford?"

pineapplesundae · 23/11/2024 23:12

I think you’ll be happier with a separate room. Just find the money.

Tiredofallthis101 · 23/11/2024 23:07

If you do go and she takes any of your stuff I'd simply go to reception and ask them to call the police. Possibly a bit melodramatic but she is a habitual thief and deserves it. I'd also tell the hotel staff given she's been stealing you want her out of the room - perhaps they can push her to pay for a new room or leave. But more like if she steals headphones than some toothpaste :-D

Original poster

Ickityick · 23/11/2024 22:16

GreenFritillary · 23/11/2024 22:09

Someone I really liked did this to me, 'Can I borrow some wash powder... shampoo...' etc, without my noticing, until I overheard her boasting that she had managed to save all her pay for the last month - 'Yes', I said in front of everyone, 'at my expense - don't ask me again.' We still got on but my eyes were opened and I no longer liked her as much.
How are you going to ensure that she doesn't live on room service all holiday, and put it all in your name? If it's your booking, it might become your responsibility. She might run up hundreds, knowing it's her last chance with you.
Can you stipulate separate room service bills, warn management why, keep a list of what you put on it, check your bill periodically with the management, and see if she is blatantly dishonest enough to forge your signature - and be ready to kick up a stink if she does. Or tell her you are doing this, and warn her you will call the police on her if she does.

I don't think she would do this!

OP posts:

XWKD · 23/11/2024 22:11

She'll probably deliberately get sunburnt because you wouldn't give her sunscreen -and of course she'll have "left hers at home". 🤔

GreenFritillary · 23/11/2024 22:09

Someone I really liked did this to me, 'Can I borrow some wash powder... shampoo...' etc, without my noticing, until I overheard her boasting that she had managed to save all her pay for the last month - 'Yes', I said in front of everyone, 'at my expense - don't ask me again.' We still got on but my eyes were opened and I no longer liked her as much.
How are you going to ensure that she doesn't live on room service all holiday, and put it all in your name? If it's your booking, it might become your responsibility. She might run up hundreds, knowing it's her last chance with you.
Can you stipulate separate room service bills, warn management why, keep a list of what you put on it, check your bill periodically with the management, and see if she is blatantly dishonest enough to forge your signature - and be ready to kick up a stink if she does. Or tell her you are doing this, and warn her you will call the police on her if she does.

Spinalonga6 · 23/11/2024 20:27

Ickityick · 21/11/2024 21:30

Yes financial ( hates to pay for anything herself so usually comes out with a sob story when the bill comes or just says gaily Oh I thought you were treating me so i didnt bring nay money
) also likes to borrow things and never returns or if she does they are ruined ( this is what caused the issues a few months ago as it was something of mine that was new and she gave it back after having worn it every day and wrecked it)

When pulled up she starts again with sob stories so it can be easier to say forget it !

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She sounds like an irritating little sister!

Havalona · 23/11/2024 20:05

If you decide not to go, and TBH I wouldn't bother as the stress of it all would kill any enjoyment, well then you are 500quid up (your spending money) so you could treat yourself to something nice here instead.

Your stress levels will thank you.

Although if you don't go, we won't get any free entertainment with your updates.....

StampOnTheGround · 23/11/2024 19:43

Definitely still go, you'll still have a lovely time in the sun in the day and the evening, with just a small annoyance that she'll be sleeping in the room with you overnight!

BlueFlowers5 · 23/11/2024 19:22

Offer them £500 to not go? Then have a lovely holiday on your own?

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 23/11/2024 19:20

ps. All of this has got me thinking... what's going on in the CF mindset.
Are they keeping score... 3 points to Griffindor, when they are successful, or is it just a reflex they've been taught from birth to do and they hardly notice. For example did they have parents who gave them everything and it seems natural for them to do this. Or are they bean counters, looking for ways to save.