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Original poster

Grandparent visits how to tell them to go home?

65 replies

Jshnk · 21/11/2024 16:49

My mum likes coming over to ours mid week to see the grandkids. She lives an hour away (we are all in London) and usually comes around 4.30 when kids finish their clubs. Thats all fine and good but she then doesn't leave till 8 or even later. The kids don't go to bed till really late and we rush around trying to fit shower, tasks etc and get totally frazzled.

I don't want to be rude but have no idea how to tell her it's time to go. Hints that she really needs to go by 7.30 at the latest don't work. How best to put it without offending?

OP posts:
MrsCarson · 21/11/2024 17:16

Have you tried just starting the bedtime routines while she's there, give bath and PJ's before she leaves.

Nanny0gg · 21/11/2024 17:09

usernamesareharddamnit · 21/11/2024 16:54

Why can’t you just start your routines when you need to regardless of her being there?

^^This

I used to help...

How old are the children?

Original poster
Jshnk · 21/11/2024 17:02

Thanks for all the suggestions. We usually try to start the routine though she doesn't help just insists on us carrying on chatting to her alongside managing the kids.

We live in London so technically she just gets the tube back. Honestly I would rather she didn't come mid week but she's retired and gets bored so this is entirely her choice. She also goes to visit my brother and his kid on another day. In her ideal world, our kids would also go and stay with her every weekend which we had to turn down.

OP posts:
Chamomileteaplease · 21/11/2024 17:01

Next time she has an arrangement to come over, text in the morning to say that you need her to start leaving at 7pm because the kids need to get to bed and they are too distracted by her amazingness if she is still there.

Say 7pm because there is no point in starting a new system and not having it at the time you want!

A lot of it depends if you like having her over, if the kids like it, if she's a nice person etc.

She shouldn't want to stay too late if that means that it is stressful for you and the kids end up tired and grumpy. If she does, tough.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 21/11/2024 16:58

Put her on bedtime duty.

tometoyoutodo · 21/11/2024 16:57

When my DM comes over midweek I continue with the DCs routine and she gets stuck in to help, bath time, reading them stories, putting them to bed etc.

Obbydoo · 21/11/2024 16:56

usernamesareharddamnit · 21/11/2024 16:54

Why can’t you just start your routines when you need to regardless of her being there?

This! She might like to help with baths or stories? Or if not, she'll get the message if you just get on with bedtime.

ginasevern · 21/11/2024 16:55

If she leaves at around 8pm and doesn't arrive until 4.30pm, that's a fairly short window really. Especially if that's the only time she sees the kids and she's making a 2 hour round trip. Is this really the only time she can visit? What about weekends?

usernamesareharddamnit · 21/11/2024 16:54

Why can’t you just start your routines when you need to regardless of her being there?

stayathomer · 21/11/2024 16:54

If she’s travelling an hour id just be happy that she hasn’t put the onus on you to travel over! Id take that one evening of chaos just for that!!!!!!

leia24 · 21/11/2024 16:52

Hi mum the kids are staying up way too late and theyre grumpy so I need to get them down earlier it would be so nice if you help with bedtime stories

TomatoSandwiches · 21/11/2024 16:52

Can she do it on a Friday instead so being up a bit later isn't so bad?

halloumidippers · 21/11/2024 16:51

Hi mum, we love seeing you during the week but the kids need to be in bed by 7. If you'd like to stay late, please can you read them a story to help them calm down at 6ish, and I'll take them up for a bath at 6.30. I'll be down at 7.30 and then we can maybe catch up just the two of us.

TheSilkWorm · 21/11/2024 16:51

Mum, it's lovely having you come and visit, but the kids really need their sleep. Would you mind leaving by 7 so I can start bedtime routine without them being distracted by you?

TheSilkWorm · 21/11/2024 16:51

Mum, it's lovely having you come and visit, but the kids really need their sleep. Would you mind leaving by 7 so I can start bedtime routine without them being distracted by you?

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