To think I can't go back to work at 6 months?

I get it, I really do. I'd find that very tough.
It is unfortunately the way of life though and honestly I don't think you'll find it as bad as you think, for your baby at least. Your baby will be fine, honestly.
It's more about you though. I didn't cope when I went back after a year but that's because i set too high expectations of myself and it just didn't work.
I felt guilty today for putting my child into before and after school club. I gave myself a good shake tonight though as she was fine, it was fine, it's the norm for many children, so I need to stop being ridiculous.

You will make it work and your baby will be ok being looked after by someone else. You need decent childcare, that's all.

Of course, you can go back at 6 months. Thousands of women do and it’s not even that early. You may not want to and may choose not too, but it’s absolutely a choice and not a hardship, if you need to pump, you pump, and at 6 months they should be starting weaning anyway. I am not even going to indulge the “it’s cruel to leave my baby with a stranger” comment…
in life, we constantly need to make choices, that’s how it is.

Completely doable. I went back full time when DD was 6 months. Young babies tend to settle into nurseries easier. DD was exclusively breast fed but this becomes less important as you wean and they gave her a great variety of food. Obviously difficult and tiring especially to start with but completely possible

I felt comparatively lucky going back to work at 6 months compared with my friend who lived in New York who was back at her desk when her baby was barely 3 months

Just to add I live in the UK so I 'could' have had the full year off

To follow up, you're not being ridiculous and it is definitely do-able

My DC1 was 6 months when I went back to work, yes I would've preferred a longer maternity leave but that's what the circumstances were

My baby went into a lovely nursery and settled in very quickly, it helped that it was right next door to my workplace so that was a bonus

Well, obviously it is totally do-able. As others have said, it was the norm to go back after 3 months leave when we had our dc.
I think it is wonderful that things have improved and some people are now able to take so much longer, I am definitely not someone who would say "We did it so so should you", but it hopefully reassures you that a whole generation went back after 3 months and our dc are all fine.

Also, plenty of people don't have the luxury of a year's leave in 2024. Look at the States for one. But, even in the UK, look at all the people that can't afford to take a year out.

I think the "leaving them with a stranger line" is a bit daft. Presumably you are going to leave them with a childcare professional who you have met, and felt confident in their abilities and done settling in session with.

I went back at 6 months with two of mine. Emotionally it wasn't great but in terms of practicalities it was fine. I didn't pump at all the last time- just fed loads mornings and evenings and tried to do shorter days when I could. Your milk supply will adjust although it was uncomfortable to start with.

I didn't love it but I do think it was easier to settle the ones who went earlier than my middle child who started at 12 months if that's any consolation!

I went back to work at 5-6 months with all three of mine and it was progressively easier with each one. The first I was so upset but soon got back into a normal rhythm, and the last I was chomping at the bit to get back! Whatever happens, you will get into a new routine and it will start to feel normal with time. It is definitely doable even though it might feel impossible at first.

I don't think you're ridiculous at all - but it's definitely going to be ok.

When I had DD in 1997 (overseas) maternity was six weeks and pretty much everyone went back after that. I was considered a bit "special" because I saved my holiday to extend it to nine weeks. When absolutely everyone is doing the same, there's a feeling of solidarity. My ex had left and my parents were horrified by this and didn't want me back in the UK, so again it was all relative.

The milk situation sounds the toughest to me. I didn't breast feed at all because I knew I'd be working a bit two weeks after her birth. But getting into a routine, getting bottles done early in the morning and having a reliable childminder all worked - and I lived for weekends. My hours were very similar to yours, admittedly not with the logging back on.

It seemed odd to me that anyone would take a whole year when I came back here, just because I wasn't used to it. There were brilliant holiday camps that every single child attended as well. DD is 27 and we're incredibly close.

It is doable. For my sanity I reduced how much milk she had in the day by 9 months and gave her more early morning and evening. Helped she was a poor sleeper anyway. By then I had enough in the freezer that I didn’t need express too often at work. My work has had a really good double pump that each mother then purchased her own equipment to use with it. I went back when she was 4 months as I was in the US

In terms of breastfeeding, the US has higher rates of breastfeeding than the UK even though most mothers are back at work within 3 months. So yes it is possible.

I said it was doable but not because I’m being flippant. It will be extremely hard but the Op has clearly said she has no other option so surely it’s better to try and give advice about how to make it doable instead of saying nope can’t be done?

I want back at 12 weeks then 16 for next one it's knackering but completely doable if you have good childcare set up. In a way it's better because baby gets used to childcare before horrible separation anxiety kicks in later.

Just be wary OP that the women who say it’s doable are often in different situations. Yes it’s doable if the DH is around and pulls his weight. Yes it’s doable if the MIL is round the corner and helpful. Yes it’s doable if you have a short commute and aren’t expected to log back on for hours in the evening.. etc etc.

Plus your work don’t sound that flecxible. Not to be negative but I don’t want you to beat yourself up if it’s hard to make this work.

It sounds like there really isn’t any option and you will just have to try and make it work. I would start pumping a little bit now, work it into your routine and try and make a freezer stash. I used to use a Hakka for the first two feeds of the day (that was when I would get the most) and that those two Hakka sessions would make one full feed. If you started this now you would have a reasonable amount. Also start giving a bottle once a day every day to make sure they will accept it. Look for childcare that you are comfortable leaving such a small baby. It will be tough but not impossible. The USA has ridiculous maternity leave system with mums going back after a few weeks and they actually have higher breastfeeding rates than the UK so it can be done. Maybe start following US mums on instagram and watch some of their pumping content to get a feel for how it works.

I don't think you're ridiculous, but it is very much doable. I went back to work at 6 months (twins), and actually think 8-6pm out the house for a full time working parent is pretty decent. Right now I'm out 7:30-615.

Get a nanny-housekeeper (if you can afford it) and utilise working from home as much as able.

If you’d like women to tell you it’s doable: waves I went back at 7 months for my 3rd baby (which is obviously different to a first baby, but bear with me), and it was fine. She was happy with formula, I had a nanny and a childminder and my husband around for some days, and I truly didn’t feel like I was leaving her with a stranger. Babies are small for a short amount of time and some people see that as a reason to try to stay at home with them BUT another way of looking at it is that it’s a short time in long years of looking after and loving your children and if you need or want to keep a job going, that period is really not forever (and often a lot easier workwise than stepping out and then fighting your way back in). You sound determined and resourceful - but you do need to physically recover (I was physically absolutely fine, which helped), - maybe your workplace might enable you a staggered return for example, for health reasons? Good luck with it all - lots of women go back after that amount of time or less, so you’re not an outlier.

Pro tip also is don’t skimp on childcare if you can afford it. You don’t have to use it but better your kiddo is with the nanny another 30 minutes every day and you get to breathe and feel less stressed than trying to maximize every minute with your DC and running yourself ragged. You’ll be a better parent if you look after yourself too.

It is totally doable. You will feel very different physically in 3 months. Your baby will probably sleep fine. Especially if you sensibly sleep train. They will also start stopping feeds, mine was down to 3x a day and no nights by 7 months. If you have a hands free wireless pump, it will be fine. You can also put boundaries in place at work. I would vote for a nanny if you can afford, kid will get sick way less and you’ll save yourself the nursery run and annoying school closures.

My BFF is a hospital dr and she has managed pumping with both her DC through a year. Returning after 6 weeks with one and 6 months with the other.

Look I was in a similar position myself. Working overseas as a teacher. I went back to work when my oldest was 10 weeks and my youngest was 9 weeks old. It was hard. Especially with my oldest as he was born with a very serious health problem. I left the home at 6am and came back around 5pm. Like all teachers I worked again when the baby was in bed.

Is it going to be easy? No. Are you going to cry in the shower? Yes. You'll be fine. Woman up! In time you will look back and marvel at your strength.

It is totally doable but you need to be in the right mindset. If this is the way things have to be for now then you’ve got to make the best of it. My tips are similar to the above, definitely get good childcare in place (mine could go to nursery 7-6.30 if we wanted), even if it’s really expensive it won’t last forever. Try build up a stash of milk but don’t stress too much, if you’re not around chances are baby will start to take formula/ other food. Also think about what your partner can do- this is not on you. Check your employer’s policy on leave, parental leave, carers leave so you know what you’re entitled to. If you’ve got 2 days at home make the most of that. Remember you’ll see your baby morning, evenings and weekends and this isn’t forever, plus you’re providing for them.

Then when you’ve been back long enough not to forfeit your mat pay, look for something more flexible/ relocate before you have more kids.

I went back at 8 months with all of mine- it was knackering but absolutely fine.

It definitely sounds a challenging situation

What about the baby's father sharing the load too, it shouldn't all be on you

Sadly this is the reality of short maternity leave

can you get a nanny? In the end, you will get used to it. I have a few friends in the US and they all went back at 8 weeks and did the whole pumping thing (I admit, I didn't envy them). At 6 months your baby will also start on solids. Often, it's by far not as bad as you think it is. There is no point catastrophising if it's not something you can away and there is no alternative. Better to be proactive and put things in place.

I went back 7am - 7pm 5 days a week after 7 weeks. It was fine - I am not saying that there weren’t challenges but my husband and I worked as a team and with a brilliant nursery - we all thrived. I appreciate this is a personal choice but you will always be unhappy with this if you don’t approach the situation in a what can I control way.