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AIBU?

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Original poster

Adult Children who live at home the heating goes on when your parents say so.

319 replies

oktheber · 21/11/2024 16:07

Just a bit of a rant really with some young colleagues I work with in their 20's who live with their parents. Yes I know it has been snowing, yes I know you're freezing cold but at the end of the day if you're parents will only have the heating on for a couple of hours in the evening then that's absolutely their right to choose to that. Just because you pay them rent, which is not at market value I should say, does not mean you can put the heating on the days you WFH and your parents are right to be furious for you do that.

AIBU?

OP posts:
MissScarletInTheBallroom · 21/11/2024 17:21

If they're not your adult children then it's really none of your business.

EmpressOfTheThread · 21/11/2024 17:21

RelationshipOrNot · 21/11/2024 17:20

I expect those who come to a compromise and discuss it with the adult children like, well, adults rather than going with "my house my rules" will end up with a better relationship with said children in the long run...

I strongly suspect that, too!

EmpressOfTheThread · 21/11/2024 17:20

sweeneytoddsrazor · 21/11/2024 17:17

6 degrees. I would rather go to the office

I'd rather work at the bus depot.

RelationshipOrNot · 21/11/2024 17:20

I expect those who come to a compromise and discuss it with the adult children like, well, adults rather than going with "my house my rules" will end up with a better relationship with said children in the long run...

Zanatdy · 21/11/2024 17:19

I wouldn’t expect my adult children to ask me if they wanted the heating on. If money was tight then that’s different. I also wouldn’t expect it on more than an hour or so. I just go to the office for warmth.

EmpressOfTheThread · 21/11/2024 17:19

ThirdStorm · 21/11/2024 17:15

Only bill payers get to decide when heating is on and to what temperature!

How mean. So if an elderly relative asked you to turn the heat up, would you say no? Ask for a bank transfer?

CrazyGoatLady · 21/11/2024 17:19

WingsofRain · 21/11/2024 17:13

I do, it has been 6C in my house today and I did my full work hours.

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There's a difference between you deciding to put up with that and expecting others to though. DH and I don't have the house very warm when WFH, and if I'm just working at home and have no meetings I'll layer up and wear my trackies and a big hoodie! But there's a difference between me saying I'm fine putting up with a bit of discomfort and imposing that on others, because discomfort you have chosen yourself is different to discomfort imposed on you against your will.

MushMonster · 21/11/2024 17:18

Living together = team work.
Otherwise, it will never work. Communication is the key.
So, I would talk to get to a solution that works for everyone. I would not want my child to be cold, neither I would accept being in debt due to the heating.
We have warm clothes, we wear layers, we talk about the temp to set, we have a smart meter, so we keep an eye.

LastNightMyPJsSavedMyLife · 21/11/2024 17:18

I set the heating so the house was always warm. It was their home. I wouldn't want my cats to be cold never mind my family.
If you are living hand to mouth and are struggling fair enough, come up with a solution jointly. Living in a cold house is miserable.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 21/11/2024 17:17

bluey07 · 21/11/2024 16:11

I think YABU. A grown adult is able to decide if they need the heating on, his parents can charge him more rent if the want, to cover the cost.

or they could live independently and cover their own bills at a non-subsidised rate.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 21/11/2024 17:17

6 degrees. I would rather go to the office

ThirdStorm · 21/11/2024 17:15

Only bill payers get to decide when heating is on and to what temperature!

MyKindCrab · 21/11/2024 17:13

StormingNorman · 21/11/2024 17:12

If you live at home and pay towards the bills you get a say in when the heating goes on.

Only if you are paying a reasonable amount rather than a token amount.

Nanny0gg · 21/11/2024 17:13

If putting the heating on is outside the budget then I suggest an oil filled electric radiator

They're quite economical and very effective

WingsofRain · 21/11/2024 17:13

DuesToTheDirt · 21/11/2024 16:15

You expect people to WFH with no heating in this weather?

I do, it has been 6C in my house today and I did my full work hours.

StormingNorman · 21/11/2024 17:12

If you live at home and pay towards the bills you get a say in when the heating goes on.

lap90 · 21/11/2024 17:12

YABU and also sound bitter for whatever reason.

CrazyGoatLady · 21/11/2024 17:12

mathanxiety · 21/11/2024 16:42

Work from home with an electric blanket draped over your shoulders?

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Not if you have to look professional and presentable for online meetings with clients/customers, no.

EmpressOfTheThread · 21/11/2024 17:12

Washingupdone · 21/11/2024 17:11

The AC if they are working from home should pay for the extra daily units they use.
I expect they are not paying market rent value for the space they use nor the food they eat.

Why would they? It's their home, not a lodging house.

BeachHutsAndDeckchairs · 21/11/2024 17:12

I remember my stepdad going absolutely barmy with me because I dared put the fire on! Shouted in my face and everything. I understand why now though and my own dc have to be properly dressed and had something warm to eat and/or drink before putting the heating on.

Mickey79 · 21/11/2024 17:11

Yabu. It’s bloody freezing right now.

Washingupdone · 21/11/2024 17:11

The AC if they are working from home should pay for the extra daily units they use.
I expect they are not paying market rent value for the space they use nor the food they eat.

EmpressOfTheThread · 21/11/2024 17:11

MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 21/11/2024 17:10

My mum lives with me and pays nothing. I put the heating on much more than I would if I lived alone because I love her and want her to be comfortable in her home.

That's lovely 😊

Waitingforthecold · 21/11/2024 17:10

Jk987 · 21/11/2024 17:06

It teaches budgeting. It's real life. I always paid rent to my parents. Imagine the shock when they eventually move out and they don't get to keep all their wages!

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Gosh I wonder how I manage to stay on top of my mortgage and bills! My parents never ripped me off but somehow I can still do it, what a miracle!

PurpleBrocadePeacock · 21/11/2024 17:10

This seems like a very British problem that has existed before central heating:

“Scrooge had a very small fire, but his clerk’s fire was so very much smaller, that it looked like one coal. But he couldn’t replenish it, for Scrooge kept the coal-box in his own room; and so surely as the clerk came in with the shovel, the master predicted that it would be necessary for them to part. Wherefore the clerk put on his white comforter, and tried to warm himself at the candle”