Page 3 | Adult Children who live at home the heating goes on when your parents say so.

Samamfia · 22/11/2024 18:14

oktheber · 21/11/2024 16:07

Just a bit of a rant really with some young colleagues I work with in their 20's who live with their parents. Yes I know it has been snowing, yes I know you're freezing cold but at the end of the day if you're parents will only have the heating on for a couple of hours in the evening then that's absolutely their right to choose to that. Just because you pay them rent, which is not at market value I should say, does not mean you can put the heating on the days you WFH and your parents are right to be furious for you do that.

AIBU?

YABU. It's shit that many people in their 20s can't afford to move out, and yes, their parents are doing them a favour, but not being able to have your home where you control things like the heating is frustrating as an adult. If they were having a go directly at their parents, that would be massively unreasonable, but there's nothing wrong with a bit of harmless venting away from home. We all do it, about different things in our different lives.

Sparklefroggle · 22/11/2024 17:08

Any member of my household that is suitably dressed (socks, trousers and a jumper) and has attempted to move position/use a blanket but is still cold is fully entitled to put the heating on.
We can’t afford much but I won’t have anyone suffer.

DiscoBeat · 22/11/2024 16:38

I can't imagine rationing the heating so that my kids freeze.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 22/11/2024 16:28

MerryMarys · 22/11/2024 15:18

When my adult kids were at home they didn't pay rent and were allowed to put the heating on if they were cold.

This 100%

A lot of people can't afford this.

StormingNorman · 22/11/2024 16:26

DieStrassensindimmernass · 22/11/2024 16:22

Meanwhile your comment has added what? PPs silly comment started the derailing process. 🫣

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Nobody asked you to give it more than a passing glance. You chose to reply and start something. My post doesn’t add anything to the point of the thread. I just don’t like bullies.

DieStrassensindimmernass · 22/11/2024 16:22

StormingNorman · 22/11/2024 16:19

Your reply to the poster’s comment derailed it. If you hadn’t engaged a that whole little sideshow wouldn’t have happened.

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Meanwhile your comment has added what? PPs silly comment started the derailing process. 🫣

StormingNorman · 22/11/2024 16:19

DieStrassensindimmernass · 22/11/2024 13:19

Your rude comment derailed it.

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Your reply to the poster’s comment derailed it. If you hadn’t engaged a that whole little sideshow wouldn’t have happened.

MerryMarys · 22/11/2024 15:19

Just because you pay them rent, which is not at market value I should say, does not mean you can put the heating on the days you WFH and your parents are right to be furious for you do that.

Is this a joke? Are you serious?

I'd hate to be your colleague

MerryMarys · 22/11/2024 15:18

When my adult kids were at home they didn't pay rent and were allowed to put the heating on if they were cold.

This 100%

WeRateSquirrels · 22/11/2024 15:14

LuckySantangelo35 · 22/11/2024 13:51

@WeRateSquirrels

“Another jumper”…how many jumpers can you put on at a time?

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Only two. I'd be happy with the heating around 17/18 with a jumper and a cardigan. As it is, it's a bit higher than that, and I have one jumper and a headache.

Freeyourminds · 22/11/2024 15:01

😂 Just keep your coat on

LuckySantangelo35 · 22/11/2024 13:51

WeRateSquirrels · 22/11/2024 11:43

Yes - having the heating on gives me a headache. It’s been on a lot this week because my husband feels the cold much more than I do, and I have not felt good. Left to my own devices I’d turn it down and put another jumper on. Would never inflict it on guests though, I just put up with the headaches.

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@WeRateSquirrels

“Another jumper”…how many jumpers can you put on at a time?

DieStrassensindimmernass · 22/11/2024 13:19

Begsthequestion · 22/11/2024 10:57

I got plenty of thanks on my post as well.

Are you fully intent on derailing this thread or do you have anything else to do today?

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Your rude comment derailed it.

Hellskitchen24 · 22/11/2024 12:30

There is nothing more grim than going to someone’s house and it’s freezing. It’s been zero outside for the past few days. My heating has been on all day. Then apparently it’s mild at the weekend so it will be back off again.

WeRateSquirrels · 22/11/2024 12:25

bigkahunaburger · 22/11/2024 11:53

Interesting. Mum thinks we are unreasonable because she says its her home and it makes her feel 'ill' (she is prone to dramatics). Apparently that trumps us being cold.

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I think I go the other way and lightly roast guests because I know I'm the weird one and would hate them to be cold. Really, I would just like it to be summer all the time to avoid heating altogether.

bigkahunaburger · 22/11/2024 11:55

Im going over for dinner tonight at 4, and its 0c here. Im going to bring it up again if she wont put the heating on and I will leave. I refuse to be cold.

Im also going to bring up that its unhealthy - especially for those over 65.

bigkahunaburger · 22/11/2024 11:53

WeRateSquirrels · 22/11/2024 11:43

Yes - having the heating on gives me a headache. It’s been on a lot this week because my husband feels the cold much more than I do, and I have not felt good. Left to my own devices I’d turn it down and put another jumper on. Would never inflict it on guests though, I just put up with the headaches.

Show quote history

Interesting. Mum thinks we are unreasonable because she says its her home and it makes her feel 'ill' (she is prone to dramatics). Apparently that trumps us being cold.

WeRateSquirrels · 22/11/2024 11:43

bigkahunaburger · 21/11/2024 18:49

Im 50 and parents are mid-70s. Whenever I visit they simply refuse to put the heating on. All us kids get fed up, and we have to keep our coats on and often leave earlier because its too unbearable. Ive tried nicely to broach the subject - we all have- but Mum gets really really annoyed, and complains that heating makes them 'ill' and gives her headaches. I asked why she doesnt care about comfort of her guests and she just gets arsey and says if we dont like it we can leave (which we do - visits are always cut short over winter). I dont get it, she is such a lovely lovely mum, and loves visitors and is so welcoming - yet every winter this is an issue. I honestly dont know what to do about it - we all use humour now (me and my brothers and sisters in law) to them as well. Nicknamed 'the ice house' and makes jokes about how the penguins are. They just brush it off or get annoyed. I do not get it. They have plenty of money too so its not that. Does anyone get this idea that heating makes you feel horrid?? I understand overnight but in the day???? And also even if I felt like that I would be utterly mortified if my guests felt cold.

Yes - having the heating on gives me a headache. It’s been on a lot this week because my husband feels the cold much more than I do, and I have not felt good. Left to my own devices I’d turn it down and put another jumper on. Would never inflict it on guests though, I just put up with the headaches.

Wherethewildthingsfart · 22/11/2024 11:31

😂 do you feel better now?

CautiousLurker1 · 22/11/2024 11:30

I’m sorry but when the outside temperature is below zero (as it was yesterday) then you have to put the heating on to maintain a reasonable temperapture in the house. If this is an issue costwise, then parents/renting child need to come to an arrangement where renter pays a top up amount for the number of days WFH/where heating is put on. It’s only a few months of the year and most of us have a DD that means there is money accruing on the account in anticipation of higher bills in the winter period. FFS anything else is bloody ridiculous.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 22/11/2024 11:26

It all depends on who is paying the heating bill - if they are earning maybe they are paying for what they are using. I believe there is some tax reduction for WFH?

DragonGypsyDoris · 22/11/2024 11:20

No, you're being silly.

ThatsNotMyTeen · 22/11/2024 11:18

The parents sound like twats as well

So they get to sit in a nice warm office whilst the kids freeze?

ThatsNotMyTeen · 22/11/2024 11:16

Mine put on the heating themselves.

Nodlikeyouwerelistening · 22/11/2024 11:14

“You may have one lump of coal to burn Bob Cratchit” you’re a modern day Scrooge, OP.

I would argue them needing to be comfortable working all day is very important. They are of working age and are contributing to the household and society through taxes. “My house, my rules” is just mean spirited and unnecessarily controlling when they are hardly unemployed degenerates scrounging off their parents!