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AIBU?

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Original poster

Adult Children who live at home the heating goes on when your parents say so.

319 replies

oktheber · 21/11/2024 16:07

Just a bit of a rant really with some young colleagues I work with in their 20's who live with their parents. Yes I know it has been snowing, yes I know you're freezing cold but at the end of the day if you're parents will only have the heating on for a couple of hours in the evening then that's absolutely their right to choose to that. Just because you pay them rent, which is not at market value I should say, does not mean you can put the heating on the days you WFH and your parents are right to be furious for you do that.

AIBU?

OP posts:
BibbityBobbityToo · 21/11/2024 17:10

If you are that poor it's an issue, charge them more rent....

I wouldn't let my kids go cold.

EmpressOfTheThread · 21/11/2024 17:10

Jk987 · 21/11/2024 17:06

It teaches budgeting. It's real life. I always paid rent to my parents. Imagine the shock when they eventually move out and they don't get to keep all their wages!

Show quote history

I think most functioning adults can work that out. I never charged my adult DC rent, but they understood they had to pay it when living elsewhere.
They never had any problems budgeting.

MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 21/11/2024 17:10

My mum lives with me and pays nothing. I put the heating on much more than I would if I lived alone because I love her and want her to be comfortable in her home.

Moier · 21/11/2024 17:08

I love my kids.. even though they have left home now.. but they could have heating on anytime they needed.. it's their home too.
Just pay extra in summer to cover your winter bill.
Spread the cost.

MyKindCrab · 21/11/2024 17:06

CharlotteLucas3 · 21/11/2024 17:00

It must be pretty rubbish to be in your twenties, working full time, forced to live with parents and then have to freeze too!

Then they can move out. If they are working full time, they can get a room in a shared house.

Jk987 · 21/11/2024 17:06

Waitingforthecold · 21/11/2024 16:47

Wtf 😂 I find it so depressing to charge your kids rent. But if you do is that not to pay for the extra cost of bills? Surely these parents aren’t expecting their kids to contribute to their mortgage?!

It teaches budgeting. It's real life. I always paid rent to my parents. Imagine the shock when they eventually move out and they don't get to keep all their wages!

MounjaroUser · 21/11/2024 17:05

If they had to pay the electricity and gas bill as part of their rent you can be sure they'd have it on less often than it's on now.

tachetastic · 21/11/2024 17:03

oktheber · 21/11/2024 16:07

Just a bit of a rant really with some young colleagues I work with in their 20's who live with their parents. Yes I know it has been snowing, yes I know you're freezing cold but at the end of the day if you're parents will only have the heating on for a couple of hours in the evening then that's absolutely their right to choose to that. Just because you pay them rent, which is not at market value I should say, does not mean you can put the heating on the days you WFH and your parents are right to be furious for you do that.

AIBU?

I always put the heating on at my parents' house when I'm cold (though in fairness that rarely ever happens as mum feels the cold and has every radiator on in August!)

Jk987 · 21/11/2024 17:02

pointlesspoints · 21/11/2024 16:15

Weird.

When my adult kids were at home they didn't pay rent and were allowed to put the heating on if they were cold.

They lived for free even though they were working?

MildredSauce · 21/11/2024 17:01

oktheber · 21/11/2024 16:07

Just a bit of a rant really with some young colleagues I work with in their 20's who live with their parents. Yes I know it has been snowing, yes I know you're freezing cold but at the end of the day if you're parents will only have the heating on for a couple of hours in the evening then that's absolutely their right to choose to that. Just because you pay them rent, which is not at market value I should say, does not mean you can put the heating on the days you WFH and your parents are right to be furious for you do that.

AIBU?

I think the clue is in the name @oktheber. "Adults" living together and behaving like, you know, adults? Sensible and reasonable discussion and action?

tachetastic · 21/11/2024 17:01

oktheber · 21/11/2024 16:07

Just a bit of a rant really with some young colleagues I work with in their 20's who live with their parents. Yes I know it has been snowing, yes I know you're freezing cold but at the end of the day if you're parents will only have the heating on for a couple of hours in the evening then that's absolutely their right to choose to that. Just because you pay them rent, which is not at market value I should say, does not mean you can put the heating on the days you WFH and your parents are right to be furious for you do that.

AIBU?

I don't mind them being warm, so long as they don't think they can dictate what's on TV and if they want to watch on their devices use headphones.

And I don't care if there are more of them than us. Our home is not a democracy! 😆

In fairness my DCs are teens not adults, but I don't see my view changing as they get older. 😁

CharlotteLucas3 · 21/11/2024 17:00

It must be pretty rubbish to be in your twenties, working full time, forced to live with parents and then have to freeze too!

BananasAllofIt · 21/11/2024 16:59

sorry I posted on the wrong thread!

Dutchhouse14 · 21/11/2024 16:58

If moneys is tight and they are working they need to contribute to bills.
If they are contributing a fair amount then yes I think they should have a say when heating goes on.
I WFH and have had heating on today. I can't concentrate if I'm cold.
My teen DC can put heating on when they are cold, although I do remind them to put a jumper on first!

Dreamskies · 21/11/2024 16:58

DuesToTheDirt · 21/11/2024 16:15

You expect people to WFH with no heating in this weather?

I do 🙋🏻‍♀️

Dodie66 · 21/11/2024 16:57

My adult children pay rent and extra for electric. Nice to have a warm home for them

DiggetyDog · 21/11/2024 16:56

If they’re adult and working I’d expect them to be contributing financially so the cost of putting the heating on is more doable.

Purplecatshopaholic · 21/11/2024 16:55

Of course they can put the heating on if they are paying rent. FFS. If the rent needs to go up slightly as the heating is on more that’s something to discuss with the adults in the house.

Waffle78 · 21/11/2024 16:54

I say UABU it's freezing 🥶 at the moment. There was that mum a few years ago only had the heating on when her children were at home. She sadly passed away. You can only wrap up to a certain extent. I assume you have the heating on before leaving the house. Just add the extra cost onto their rent.

sonjadog · 21/11/2024 16:53

I think it depends on a few things. Firstly, what is considered "warm"? Some people want their houses toasty hot. I would hate this and if it were my house, I would say no to someone having it at, for example, 23+ degrees. So if my child wanted this, then the answer would be no. Secondly, do they want it at a temperature which means they can walk around in vest tops and leggings, or are they actually prepared to dress for the season. If not, then I think they could do that first before turning up the heating.

Onthesideofthespiders · 21/11/2024 16:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

This sort of misogyny should not stand, especially not on a site aimed at women. Disgusting comment @NavyOrca

helgel · 21/11/2024 16:52

I can't be the first poster to call reverse surely.

MyKindCrab · 21/11/2024 16:51

@Downtherabbithole19 Temperatures that people see as warm in their home seem to be increasing with every generation.

MyKindCrab · 21/11/2024 16:51

@Sunnings Exactly! It is easy to live in a very warm house when you are not the one paying the bill.

EmpressOfTheThread · 21/11/2024 16:50

Shaksuka · 21/11/2024 16:47

I don't charge my adult children rent. If they are uncomfortably cold of course they can turn the heating on.

Absolutely this.