To think that i would not choose them as friends?

trade in your car and buy a camper van!

That is a very good idea! Well done.

Sleeping. In. A. Chair.

Just suck up the cost of a Travelodge.

You can't have it both ways. No, it's not unreasonable to say you don't like someone, we can't get on with everyone. But don't say you stay with them to placate them, then admit you can't afford accommodation costs because you moved so far away from your job that the commute is not doable. You are using these people, I don't care how much you bring with you, you still NEED to stay in their house and yet you don't like them. Find a new job, OP, or move back to the area. It's pretty shit to use people like this.

Edited to say: I read your post where you denied using them because they are DH's friends, not yours. I don't know what mental gymnastics you went through to come to that conclusion but if you are regularly staying in the home of people you do not like and would prefer to keep at arm's length because it suits your pocket, you are using them!

I have not rtwt, but all OP's posts.

I do wonder with your description of the individuals, whether your weekly presence is the only thing holding this family together.
Perhaps the H and S behave a bit better when you're around and take the pressure off the depressed W, or you are the only person one of them really feels they get along with.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't be allowed to escape, but it is helpful to know the reasons for things.

This is an insane set up!!! It got more insane as I continued reading! You cannot possibly continue staying at theirs. Change jobs so you don’t have to go for work or pay for a hotel. End the craziness and then it doesn’t matter what happens to the friendship.

It's fine not to like people. This situation sounds completely untenable and stressful.

Look for an Airbnb where the host is happy with a regular booking and will give you a discount for it.

But you are staying with them because you don’t want to spend money on a hotel ? In that case you have to accept their behaviour, it is their house.

I appreciate it's not always easy but in your place I'd be looking for a new job, this situation is expensive and stressful and changing employer is really your only way out. Even if it takes you months to find something it will cure your problem, if you're not going their way then you won't need to stay with them.
They do sound strangely dependent on you but you're not really their friend, are you? If you don't like them then stop staying there and gently fade out of their lives

This is unsustainable now, what's going to happen when you have children? It's stupid, quit work and get another job. One by one.

Don't even need a pitch- many just park up wherever. It's a huge problem in many parts of UK.

1st reply nails it.

on the occasions we don't stay there we get bloody chapter and verse on why would you camp / stay in a hotel / stay with other friends when you've got us???
Surely they've set it up perfectly for you to say "because it's much less work and more comfortable"?

You made a stupid decision to move so far away, that’s totally on you not them. You’ve had plenty of time to make changes since you have to go back into your workplace and you haven’t, again that’s on you not them but you’re happy to post complaining about them, you are a bad friend. What would you do if they moved and weren’t so convenient? Do that now.

Have you looked at a room with airbnb with cooking faciiities near to your work would be cheaper I imagine.The only solution is either move or find a job near where you live.

I'd look for a Monday to Friday type rent.

It would be ideal for a lot of people who feel they should get extra cash from their spare room but don't really want lodgers around every evening. 2 nights a week would be perfect.

Of course they would be mortified! They think you're friends, they think you like them and they do you a favour every week.

And you definitely are using them, what do you call it when you're asking how fo somehow force yourself to like them because the alternative is to stop staying at theirs and have to pay for hotels??

I know it is but you know you really must keep looking. Your current working pattern and travelling is unsustainable.

Send your cv round to lots of companies nearer to where you live, scan the papers. If there are any employment agencies that cater to your field, register with them. Something will turn up sooner or later.

As your boss insists you go into the office, will your firm not pay you some expenses? My late husband used to work away from home and he got some esoenses, otherwise he wouldn't have been able to do it.

Yes of course it's OK not to like people, as long as you don't actively hate them and you don't. Try and find very cheap b&bs to stay, they do exist and aren't too bad for the odd night.

Once you are settled workwise - and you will be if not immediately - gradually phase them out.

Do you like where you live now? That is important.

I wish you good luck.

This is a bonkers situation. You're spending half the week away from home every week. Just move to where you work or work where you live. Then you won't have to deal with these people any more. They'll likely be pleased.

They sound like a handful but I think you're royally taking the piss by staying with them every single week- presumably they want you there because they think you're friends, but you write about them as if you thoroughly dislike them. It would be a lot kinder to cool off the friendship and sort yourselves out with work. It must be costing you a fortune to commute that often and that long.

Absolutely fine to distance yourself if you don't like them.

Not ok to stay with them every week and complain about them. And no matter how much you cook, bring your own towels people sometimes want their own space. Even if you are no inconvenience at all it is still a huge favour to you.

I would be looking for a new job. In the meantime appreciate the massive favour and try to focus on their good points.

What a fucking nightmare.

I couldn't stand to stay with them. And I think they'd be better off it you didn't come - even if they currently think otherwise and beg you to come.

If you're driving there, you could look for a premier inn or whatever that is a bit further from where you need to be - you could get a cheaper room, but you can drive to wherever you need to be the next day.

Other than that, I don't know. I think your post needs to be concentrating on solutions to your practical problem, rather than analysing people you don't like and want nothing to do with. And should have nothing to do with.

I also can't really see how buying food and alcohol for everyone is working out to be very budget friendly for you. It sounds an absolute nightmare and I'd end it now.

Camper vans are not 30k 😂well, posh fancy ones are, but vans you can sleep in (proper converted ones) come considerably cheaper! And £30 a night at a pitch somewhere doesn't sound too bad, you couldn't expect much cheaper at a budget hotel.

Slightly missing the point of the post but I know someone who was in a similar situation (company said they could attend a local office then subsequently changed their tune and expected the person to commute to London). They were able to negotiate a reduced rate with certain hotels given the frequency of their stays (two nights a week), it was a corporate style discount despite the person having to book and pay for this themselves. They have since found another job though, commuting is miserable!

I think you both need new jobs much closer to where you live now.