To think that i would not choose them as friends?

Girl you need a new job. Like, yesterday.

They sound like complete loonies. But you and your dh sound quite mad to have been putting up with this for three years.

Of course yanbu to not to want to be their friends and see them this often, but while they're saving you money and inconvenience, what's the alternative?

You must be able to find a B&B for less than the cost of a hotel? And negotiate a very good rate right through the winter months for 2 nights every week, no?

Then read the OP’s updates - she explains it fully

Oh OP, you’ve really found yourself in a tricky situation here! I have read all your updates and it definitely all feels circumstantial.
I wish your boss was more reasonable. I’m sure you’ve already thought of this but can you make a case at work for fewer days in the office??

With regards to your ‘friends’ - it’s a little annoying that people are accusing you of exploiting them when they chuck a tantrum if you don’t stay with them. They sound overbearing and draining to me. Of course it’s ok that you don’t like them, we all have to spend time with people we don’t like occasionally in order to keep the peace etc but the amount of time you’re having to do it for sounds exhausting.

Sorry I haven’t been very helpful, this is a tricky situation and difficult to know what you can do!

I'm really surprised the replies are generally sympathetic to you. You sound like a complete brat, using these people and bitching about them at the same time, airily saying it doesn't put them out at all that you stay with them once a week and they save you £1,000 a month because you're in a job you can't afford to do.

Im confused why you’ve relocated 3 hours away and spend the majority of your time going back there? Surely easier to have not moved? (Having to load the car every week with bedding, towels, food, drink, work clothes, toiletries etc so I can camp out on the sofa of a family I can’t stand sounds like madness by the way!)

People are draining.
That's why I see as few of them as possible.

Stop staying in their home.
Start adding some distance.
Stay out of their dramas.

Apologies, you are quite right

But, that doesn't change my view

Why did you move so far away from your work? Sounds like you need a new local job

There is a saying in my country "hija de la Mala vida" loosely translated daughter of a bad life. It's used to describe people who put themselves into problems but never solve them. 3 years of this???

They stay one night a week.

Come on, you've had three years to find a different job!

Of course they want you to stay - you are paying for their food and drink.

Your husband must be nuts to sleep on a chair and give a lift at 5.30 am.

Surely there's another solution? You are both working and you don't mention children. I just can't believe your only options are to do this. And camping, when you've got work the next day? Why would you do that when you could just drive 2.5 hours each way?

Exactly.

@DonnyDoris Just stay in a travel lodge, anywhere would be better(you don’t even like them or have anywhere to actually sleep there!)
And you’re staying there once a week, very odd situation.

If they have access to the internet, they may well find out how you feel about them if they see this thread

YABU to stay with them 3 nights pw and slag them off online

This is a situation of your own making. You have two choices. 1 Stop staying with them. 2 Keep staying with them and don't complain.

This is so bizarre. You clearly don't like them and accept sleeping on a sofa and chair a night a week and you feed them. You need to look for another job. This isn't working. What does your contract actually say, is it WFH or are you tied to a home office? If the former have they changed your terms?

What kind of work do you do? There are certain facebook groups within certain industries set up specifically for regular room rental but on a 1-2 days a week type basis - like for crew that move around with festivals or people who work on location for events.

I think it's worth trying to find a different formal setup (cheaper than a hotel, will cost something but in my opinion freedom and sanity is worth it)

There are weekly lodgers. Someone may be willing to come to a one day a week regular arrangement. Maybe Gumtree or someone at work if it's a big department (I wouldn't want to move in with a close colleague personally).

Probably easier to make this a business arrangement than stretch goodwill one way or another like this.

OK. I think the responses are due to how utterly batshit this whole situation is.

Firstly, stop staying with them. You have a bad back/whatever. If they freak out just block them.

Secondly, start looking for a new job. This isn’t sustainable.

"If I'm honest I don't think it's right to be accepting a regular favour from friends and speaking about them this way, especially not the daughter. "

I agree, and honestly they probably feel they're with close, trusted friends, doing them a big favour regularly, and that they can be themselves and not be on "best behaviour". If I was opening my home to someone every single week I'd probably have to feel so comfortable with them that they would see some less than perfect behaviour and personality traits. This whole situation is all wrong.

Everyone in this situation is nuts.

Well you don't have to like them but it's not their problem that you have the logistical issue of having to be in the office once a week and they're not your only solution.

You have to grip this yourself and stop making them the problem.

Find another job locally in time, move, or seek alternative accommodation (and have the requisite conversation. A white lie about finding a good deal nearer work or not needing accommodation is fine in this case), or accept with grace.

If I'm honest I don't think it's right to be accepting a regular favour from friends and speaking about them this way, especially not the daughter. You're not helpless. Accept with grace or sort yourself out an alternative. They might be a bit pushy but you're capable of saying 'no' and you're saving a lot of money so I think show a bit more integrity.

The solution: pay for a hotel. Say you aren’t comfortable with sleeping on their sofa. Problem gone…