To think that i would not choose them as friends?

So, just camp or Travelodge for an extra day and stop staying with them at all? If they’re cross, they’re cross - you don’t want to be their friend, anyway.

I’m genuinely confused by this thread. You want to know if it’s okay not to like people? So, prior to being given our permission, you went through life (childhood, adolescence, adulthood) under the impression that everyone had to like everyone else? That we all had to be friends with everyone who wants to be friends with us? Why did you think this, exactly?

Tell 'em exactly how you feel. And be sure to report back!

I'm guessing the employer isn't paying because the OP chose to move away. It's not really travel FOR work, it's travel TO her usual place of employment.

Presumably if you didn't stay contact would fizzle out & it wouldn't matter that you stayed elsewhere for work?

Does your husband also need to do three days there?

I don’t think I’d want to be your friend. You use your friend to save money yet hold them in contempt. You should be using your energy to sort employment that is nearer to your home (so does your husband by the sound of it).

Why isn't your employer paying for a hotel? And why is your husband going with you and sleeping on a chair?
You obviously don't like them so just make your excuses not to stay with them.

If someone slept on my sofa and a chair for one night a week they would very much be putting me out.

I don’t know what to suggest? You don’t like them, so don’t stay there. But you can’t afford to stay anywhere else…so suck it up. I personally wouldn’t suck it up, I wouldn’t be stupid enough to rely on people I didn’t like. Don’t even tell them you’re coming back, just stay in a hotel.

TBH you ALL sound draining

Op you seem to find a lot of people annoying at the moment😅 Just don’t stay at their again and when they text say you’ve stuff to do/ needed a bit of a holiday to yourself etc etc and they’ll catch on.

Yes but it's not fine to dislike them while you pretend that you like them .

“There's a few holes in this though - the boss who wants you in the office started a year ago, so why have you been doing this for 3 years?”

Oh @Gorgonemilezola stop asking pesky questions 🤪

OP, you paint out them to be unreasonable and chaotic, but IMO you're worse. Who in their right minds would move 3 hours from where their work is and then rely on friends to put them up during the working week — particularly friends who don't have a spare room? And why on earth should they feed and cater for you when they're the ones saving you £1k a month in hotel fees? Of course you take your own food and drink.

This was unsustainable and irrational and ridiculous from week one. Why on earth haven't you both found jobs in your home area? Three years. Three years. And you have the nerve to complain about them...

There's a few holes in this though - the boss who wants you in the office started a year ago, so why have you been doing this for 3 years? If you need to be away from home 2 nights a week and only spend one night with these 'friends', why can't you camp for 2 nights instead of one? Even if you can't do this during the colder months, you could do it for at least 6 months a year.

The kicking off is not a good reason to stay. You manifestly don't like them and are using them to save money. Not kind.

Tbh, that actually sums up a lot of threads!

People do it every day.

But yeah, I see what you mean.

Crack on as you are then 🤷‍♀️.

Then stop placating. Tell them you go to the area to work and that's made harder for you by the poor nights sleep and all the extra effort involved. If your DH wants to carry on staying there then let him. You owe them nothing. Yes its okay not to like people. There are shedloads of people who don't like me. It strikes me that this little gang have got you on a piece of string.

The whole thing is unsustainable. Move back, or change jobs?

Of course it's ok not to like people.
This sounds unbearable, can't you change jobs ?

I put YANBU because of course you don't have to like people, but it's not nice to stay with people and dislike them behind their back - you've got yourself in a very odd situation. I agree with others that there must be a midpoint between your DH sleeping on a chair (and presumably you driving up and down the country in a car full of duvets every week like a university fresher) and spending thousands of pounds on hotels. Spareroom allows you to search Mon-Fri lets, for example. It's fine not to like them but you should follow through now and make other arrangements. Good luck!

Why have you not told them you only need to work one day in the office?

This whole thing is just insane, though. It's like someone's gone onto ChatGPT and said, "Think of a ridiculous scenario that I can post on Mumsnet."

Dear god, ditch these tiresome people. How did you hang on to them so long? It’s okay to have boundaries and you don’t need to be friends with everyone. I’d never put up someone speaking rudely to me, not even once. I think I’d honestly rather sleep in my car than stay with them anyway.

I imagine they are very keen for you to stay if you are providing food, alcohol and early lifts to the station! I am not sure though that they actually want you there, or would want you if you didn't provide food and taxi services.
The obvious answer is to look for another job. Or stay elsewhere and not tell these people that you have done so. Tell them that you have done so becasue neither of you can do a decent day's work after a night spent on the sofa/in a chair.