To be fed up of having to work Christmas because I don't have children

And people tend to have more than one child. So it’s not just “for a few years” that they have a child who still believes in Santa.

Yes, whenever I hear “having children made me a better person” I think “you must have been awful before then”.

Ah I'm so glad to read lots of the comments in this thread. I've been told on a different thread by various people that 'Christmas is for kids' which is hurtful both because I love Christmas and because I'd love to have kids but am pushing 40 and have been ttc + mc for years. I absolutely love sharing the day with nieces and nephews as I always do, though who can measure who it's more meaningful to? I'm choosing to believe it's for anyone who wants or needs it, and op, I hope you get off work as you absolutely deserve as much as the next person and have a very happy Christmas.

So you expect those that might never have kids to work every Xmas?
Yes the magic of Xmas only lasts a few years for a child ,the thing once the magic is over for one child what about when another colleague comes along with a young child ?
I just remember someone I worked with when I was a nurse ,she worked on the same ward for 20+ years she never had children, there was quite a large turnover of staff you could guarantee thst every year someone would have a small child ,so by your logic this nurse should work every Xmas for 20+ years so that parents could experience the magic of Xmas?

I've no kids and worked so many Christmases, new years, easters, summer holidays. I have a family, me and my hubbie! so now I say NO. Everyone was like ask her she has no Kids, she will do it!

I work in an industry where we have skeleton "on call" teams every Xmas. I volunteered for these every year before I had kids, because I couldn't bear the thought of a child losing out on Xmas with a parent.
We have others in the family who do work shift patterns so often celebrate on different days to Xmas anyway.
Now the children are older I do the same.
The magic of Xmas for little ones is only for a few years.

@Gunkle1

Just because something is not legally discriminatory doesn't mean OP can't make the point that she is being discriminated against.

It's not discrimination as the OP is not being treated differently due to protectic characteristics.

People need to stop saying this, as OP will get nowhere by saying this.

I can only go bh what one care agency told me that they try and say women with little kids shouldn't work the day but new year instead

I take it you’ve met my (former) childhood best friend then 😆.

She has used that exact phrase. 15 years on, I must remember every sniff and movement of each of her multiple children whereas I’d be lucky to have her remember to send a text on my birthday.

People think being hyper focused on their children is selfless but it’s not. Not when it’s to the detriment of everyone else.

Indeed I’ve noticed the most selfish people when they have it’s just like their net of selfishness extends to include their children and they progress to be self centred.

To be clear - I have many other parents friends and despite prioritising their kids (and rightly so) as good parents do they’re very much not self absorbed so not saying all parents are like this.

@NeighSayers

Also, having kids is the first time they've ever bothered to consider anyone else's wellbeing, hence assuming the childless somehow don't understand love or are selfish (as they were pre-kids).

So true! People always tell on themselves when they say you don’t know love until you have a child.

Oh @fitzwilliamdarcy that really really sucks. Actually makes me angry reading it. Can you take more formal action? You’re being bullied.

I am well aware of the margins of running a care company and I know it’s not a great business decision to say that one group of employees are more entitled to Christmas off than another. Quick way of getting people to quit and as you say they need the staff

In the care company I deal with it’s fair across all employees as it should be

Yes, I got told ‘having children names you less selfish!’ By the most self absorbed selfish person I have ever known. It must not have worked for her.

@stormee
You can't really think any adult deserves their Christmas more than them. Adults can adapt, see family later in the day, still enjoy the festive time, but seriously don't think you're more important than the kids on the day.

Kids can adapt, see family later/earlier in the day. Various posters on this thread have talked about how this has worked out for their kids or themselves when they were children.

Kids are guaranteed to have their parent(s) around at some point during the day. Adults, on the other hand, could well need to travel to see family, and so not be able to see them at all. This is especially the case for single and childless adults, who will be the ones expected to travel, and who are expected to fit in with the plans of other family members with children.

@Slotted
This is not about the children. This is about selfish and entitled parents who think they are special because they have procreated.

@YellowAsteroid
It’s this sort of attitude - that childless adults are not deserving of what everyone else has - which causes so much of the supposedly “intolerant” attitude to children.

YY.
I actually think these sorts of parents are seriously lacking in empathy and imagination. They can't imagine that anyone else might have compelling reasons to not work Christmas, or even anything worthwhile in their lives. Also, having kids is the first time they've ever bothered to consider anyone else's wellbeing, hence assuming the childless somehow don't understand love or are selfish (as they were pre-kids).

All these parents who expect the child free to work Xmas will be arguing the opposite when their precious kids are teenagers/early twenties and expected to work so can't be home for Xmas.

spot on. There were even people upthread saying how important it was for their baby -who obviously doesn’t know the concept of Christmas Day- to celebrate with them on the 25th and how awful it was if we denied a family that. It’s not about the child at all.

And as a pp said in many cases you can still celebrate with kids and open presents, maybe even have lunch or dinner too if you’re working Christmas Day.

Forgot what poster this was but Lovely story about the partner and the kids who went in the nursing home on Christmas Day when their mum worked there!

Pisses me right off when people who don’t have kids are expected to work over Christmas like they don’t have other family or friends to celebrate with. Same with parents getting to book annual leave in school holidays first because they want to spend time with the kids. Well my colleague with Jo kids wants to go away this holiday with his brother and niece. Why not?

When started my career I was a young mum and I never expected to get preferential treatment. When my children were older I used to get shoved to the back of the pile for holidays and Christmas like once they are over 12 they don’t matter anymore. It’s not fair it should be evenly shared

Agreed. Also, why should OP need to share with her coworkers that she has had miscarriages? She shouldn't need to justify her time off by sharing painful, private medical information. That's both inappropriate and cruel.

I can only speak from my own experience, but no ... if all else fails ADHD and "anxiety" about the parent being missing tides them through until the grandkids arrive, then it all starts again

Then there's the apparently inexhaustible supply of dying grandparents who are having "their last Christmas", including a few who forgot they'd already said the grandparent had died (and had paid time off for the "funeral")

I used to be that free single person working Christmas then we lost my mum and well you realise christmas isn’t just important if you have children. If you celebrate it it’s for your family that you have. So ever since i’ve done my fair share but no more. My dad has limited time with us so i want to spend some time with him too as well as my extended family.

That’s no more important than someone’s kids. I’m my dads child. Christmas and new year is not the same swap. Most young people these days aren’t even arsed about new year.

People who have children have accepted a job in a 24/7 role and should understand that having children is not a get out clause of their own fair share in work.

I’d be issuing a complaint to wherever is suitable in work. If it’s in my contract i would not be working.

And if you do, I take it you stopped taking the day off as soon as your children stopped believing?

My inlaws used to take May half term off every year, years (decades) after they'd had school aged children.

I used to laugh about it until this year when we went away in May half term (ds is at university).

Do you work in a role where you work Christmas Day?

My mum works in the NHS and I have family working in care. We often had a 'late' Xmas after mum had done the early shift or we had 'Boxing Day Xmas' if she was on the late shift, once we waited till about 28th to get us altogether for our given everyone's varied work patterns. As a kid it was brilliant, it meant we could eke out the celebrations for as long as possible, Not traumatised because of it.

Not in my experience. The first Christmas I worked so a colleague could have it off, the child was 3. He’s now 12 and she’s still demanding (and getting) it off.