Sunburnt on holiday and friend frustrated with me

i'd be pissed off with you too. how long were you in the sun that you didn't realise you were burning? And yes, i know you don't want lectures but that was so bloody stupid i can't even believe anyone does that now.

Your friend was probably looking forward to doing things with her friend and now has to do them alone. I hope she is giving you the side-eye and guilt tripping you for years (I am petty and vindictive, so that's my vibe, she may be lovely and not do that)

I am a little upset because this holiday was expensive and I feel like I’ve ruined it for both of us.

Your friend is very upset and probably quite angry because this holiday was expensive and you've ruined it for her.

There really isn't any excuse these days for getting so badly sunburned you can't walk on the beach. You might find this is the end of your friendship.

I knew a woman who did this on her honeymoon. Day one went to beach in South Africa was warned multiple times about the heat, strength of sun but wouldn’t listen and went sunbathing during hottest part of day. Got horribly badly burnt. Two weeks in bed. They separated a few months later. It wasn’t said but I always thought that he couldn’t get over spending all that money and effort to sit in a hotel room watching his new wife she’d layers of sunburn.

This. As mentioned before. A grown woman shouldn’t be reliant on someone else for her happiness, especially on holiday when there’s lots of things to see and do, regardless of whether you’re alone or not. And as OP has said, it’s only the start of the holiday - she'll soon be recovered enough to take part.

Can I ask?
Those of you saying that OP should put on sun block, take painkillers and get on with keeping her friend company...are you all so afraid of being alone that you would see a friend struggle in pain rather than do things by yourself?

It sounds to me like getting drunk and being annoyed and expecting sympathy for being hungover.

its fine to suggest she go on her own, but she might not feel comfortable with this and it’s not what’s she’d have expected. She might not feel confident to do it on her own.

Id apologies and plan things for end of week you can do together.

a lot of his have been sunburnt it’s not nice and I do hope you feel better soon x

I’d be so annoyed at you.

I'd be really pissed off too.

But then I have typically Scottish skin which is freckled and pale, and a red headed son who needs to be very careful. I never "sit in the sun" even with sunblock on holiday. Always under an umbrella.

Agree with others that you just have to cover up and try to get on with it. Hiding in your room is spoiling the fun for your friend.

I’d be lathering on sunblock and a cover up, taking strong painkillers and getting on with the holiday as much as possible, seeking shade where possible but not completely staying indoors. Not surprised she’s pissed off.

I’ve had very bad sunburn and yes it’s super painful to wear clothes or go out, but as a parent of young kids and DH away, I had to just get on with stuff, including outdoor stuff.

I get where your pal is coming from, it’s annoying to not have a buddy to do stuff with and she may not feel confident to do some of the stuff solo……

However, no one in their right mind could think you intended to spend your holiday this way. Has there been a suggestion of you reimbursing her? Because that is nuts!?

Keep covered in loose clothing, a hat, move gently and wear a t shirt and leggings/shorts to swim in.
I’m a snorkelling fan and I always wear a t shirt to snorkel in order to protect my back.
If there is any aloe vera anywhere slather that on. It really helps remove the sting.

I'm super pale skinned (red head) & my guess is that you & your friend have different skin types & she thrives in the sun

I don't go on beach holidays with friends for this very reason. Mismatch of expectations / needs / desires which can lead to frustration on all sides.

I have travelled extensively in very hot places like Australia, Arizona, Thailand etc with my dh (who tans v easily) but he loves me & is happy to accommodate my need for shade & he actively enables it.

We often split up & do different things - he loves to swim & lie on the beach for an hour so he heads off to do that when I'm mooching around the hotel / apartment getting ready. We meet up after he's had his hit of hot sun & when we're sitting at a cafe / bar / restaurant we'll always make sure I'm under an umbrella & he sits with his head in the shade but his legs in the sun etc

In my experience it's FAR harder to navigate all of this with friends if one of you is a water sport / sun lover & the other is pale & burns easily. So I don't put myself in that position.

Were you using the correct factor sunscreen? And water (sweat) resistant?

I use factor 50 at all times & have never been burnt since I was an early teen & my parents brought us to the beach for the day with NO protection & I fried!

Burnt tops of feet are the worst as all shoes / sandals hurt

Hope you feel better soon op

Have you every had bad sunburn? I have and I spent a week lying flat on a bed as I was in so much pain. I couldn’t even have a sheet over me. Going out, even in the shade, is going to be even more painful for OP.

As for everyone lecturing her, she knows she made a mistake so I don’t know why you are being so critical of her.

Personally speaking I wouldn't be angry like your friend and a lot of posters here. I don't mind exploring alone and would accept the unfortunate circumstances. I'd cheerfully resign myself to couple of days adventuring solo while your sunburn calmed down. You didn't do it on purpose and these things happen.

I'm not someone who needs company for everything.

You didn't mean to get burned, but I'd find the whole "I must protect my health and comfort by sitting indoors all day" schtick annoying.

I'd be covering up, slathering on the creams and painkillers, and trying my best to find ways to enjoy the days together.

The fact that you're just telling her to lump it is probably the annoying thing.

Cover up completely - trousers and a cotton shirt. That way you won't get anymore damage,

Don't feel bad, it isn't like you did it on purpose. Can't understand the anger directed at you. If it happened to my friend I would feel sorry for them, help them get lotions and find shady spots, then do anything I really wanted to do alone. There shouldn't be bad feeling.

Oh gosh mistakes happen especially when you’re not used to a new environment and strong sun. As an Australian, I can tell you that as vigilant as I am with sunblock there’s been times I’ve gotten sunburnt by mistake.

Try get your hands on some aloe Vera and long cold showers if you can tolerate.

Do not expose yourself to more sun as other posters have recommended. Find things you can do together. Organise a spa treatment together as an apology.

Many years ago I feel asleep under a tree, the sun moved and I got badly burned (and yes, I was wearing sun cream too!). Sometimes shit happens. Anyway, this is going to sound mad, but the locals told me to put slices of tomato on the burns. And it works! OK, once burned nothing will reverse it, but it did reduce the pain and make the situation more tolerable.

Some harsh responses here OP. Things happen, people make mistakes. Whether it was laying in the sun too long, or drinking too much the night before, or catching cold, it's part of life sometimes and our plans get spoiled. Has she ever done anything wrong? If she's a good friend, she will let this go. No reason why she can't enjoy herself though. Also, if you haven't got them already, get yourself a long-sleeve rash guard tee (they make tights too with UPF), big hat and sunglasses, stay hydrated and stay in the shade during peak hours, lots of aloe gel. You should be feeling better soon, good luck and try to enjoy yourself.

Damn it😂 can't edit anymore.
Temperature 🤦

Exactly. I'd be so annoyed. That said, I'd leave you to it. No use in wasting her holiday too.

It would be dramatic to say that this would spoil my holiday! If I was away with a sunburnt friend I'd be happy carrying on mostly alone in the day but suppose I would expect company in the evenings. How long is the holiday? You should be ok to sit covered in the shade after a day or so?

When I've been to Cape Verde half the people walk around with serious sun burn, the UV rays are strong and the wind lulls people into a false sense of security!

Luckily for MNetters as some of them would cook themselves alive 😂😂

I’d feel bad for a friend who got sunburnt, (which yes can happen quickly, badly and accidentally to pale people in hot countries!) and try to make the best of it for both of us, think most of my friends would do the same. Glad to have the friends I do after reading some of these comments about buying people new holidays or grovelling all week. Hope you feel better soon OP and that your friend finds she can enjoy some of the planned activities without you.

Nobody is BU here. You're not being unreasonable by wanting to stay in the shade and if you're in pain you can't do activities obviously, but I also don't think your friend is unreasonable to be annoyed that the plans you had are now messed up and she has to go do things on her own instead of you two being able to do them together and share those memories in years to come. She probably thinks the sunburn could have been prevented. There may be some truth to that, but sometimes the strength of the sun can take you by surprise, you don't realise you needed stronger factor cream, etc. It does happen and it's one of those things, both of you will need to adjust your expectations and allow for each other's frustration/disappointment. Could you take her for a nice meal or a fancy cocktail, is there anything nice you could do that doesn't involve being out in the sun or being very active?