Exhausted with current situation - money issue

Have you looked at using a childminder? They're usually a lot cheaper than nurseries- I'm a childminder and charge half what the nurseries charge.
Also,are you able to use the government tax free childcare account where they pay 20% of your childcare bill? Not sure if you're eligible, but have a look at www.childcarechoices.gov.uk

@Dreambow

I don't know if anyone has suggested it (I know you've said no to a lodger due to the cold), but you could plan to have a 6m lodger from, say, Mar to Sept. Then you don't need to worry so much about the cold house, but get some income over the year.

Or, a M-F lodger who has a VERY demanding job. In London you'll easily find someone. They'll come after work M, then leave Fri am. I've had several (outside London) and they tend to work long hours in the week they are away to give themselves free time at the weekend. And just heat the room with an electric heater, and hang nice thick curtains. If you make it clear when you interview people that it's an old draughty house, you'll still get someone and the worst that happens is that they don't like it and leave and you look for someone else.

Could be an extra £500+pm which would be a real boon for you.

I am relying on the news every day. Stats mean very little as most people don’t even bother reporting the crime anymore!! Jeez.

Maybe you need to read a bit more? You don’t seem very switched on to the issues on your own doorstep..

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/terrifying-moment-machete-wielding-thugs-33115591

The UK is full of lovely cheaper places to live than where you are .
Why would you put up with living where you have no money left for anything that makes life enjoyable.
Your husband can get a job elsewhere,doing something different
It's clear you can't afford to live there
People have to move areas and jobs all the time ,why stay somewhere when your quality of life is so poor

My friend lives in Richmond, hardly the Bronx

kingston.nub.news/news/local-news/richmond-park-cyclist-attacked-by-machete-wielding-gang-speaks-out

The nursery years are tough. When your youngest one starts school and you don't have to pay nursery fees anymore you will feel like you won the lottery! I still remember the joy when after 5 years of nursery fees we were done with it!

Mortgage hikes and living in London is a pain, we also have to live in London for work and our mortgage recently went up by £500. We also live in an old house, lovely and cool in the summer but a complete nightmare in the winter!

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-66604588.amp

Yes, you are rather nicely underlining how small minded villagers can be. My statement relies on data, unlike your opinion (which is not backed by data). worldpopulationreview.com/world-city-rankings/safest-cities-in-the-world

And not everywhere has crime on the scale of London !! Nothing remotely close. I love the place but it’s very very stressful living and working there. You have got used to it, but not everyone wants to get used to that level of stress.

There is violent crime everywhere. Cities have denser populations, so you would expect a concentration of crime anywhere that you see a concentration of people. I’m a Londoner born and bred and although I have seen someone with a machete (don’t live in Catford people), I also witnessed a number of Londoners apprehend the person and hold them for the police. I’m 44 years old and that’s once. Anecdotally, villagers from other parts of the UK don’t really understand or like cities, but that is very separate from whether they are safe.

I lived in London for nearly 15 years. My dh still commutes there daily. I think we know what happens there 🙄🙄

No need to be snarky, I actually do not take on extra shifts for this reason. Crossing the tax band means I lose tax free childcare and free hours with a higher tax bill which could leave me worse off. So it matters especially if kids are full time in nursery.

I do think older generations had it easier. When I was in my 20s I was earning £45k and the flat I bought in zone 2 was £100k, totally doable on one salary. That same flat is now worth about £400k so you'd need a salary of
over £100k to afford it.

I agree. I've lived in London all my life and it's great. I've never in my life seen anyone wield a machete. There are dodgy areas everywhere, you just don't go to them on your own at night. When I was growing up (many moons ago), my mother used to warn me not to go to certain places, streets, etc (which of course made me want to investigate when I was old enough, and I did). There was crime, including violence, flick knives and various other things, just not on our manor. There is violent crime all over the world.

We've just had the same discussion yesterday. I've had a good corporate job and advanced pretty quickly. I always thought that getting to the level I am now would mean some degree of financial comfort, that I could go to a restaurant or buy something in Reiss or other similarly priced stores without even thinking. When I was starting my career it definitely looked like this was possible. But now the combination of mortgage + nursery fees is just killing us. I don't want to complain, we have a nice house and good life, but it feels we are less comfortable than the previous generation/

In my personal experience people that are similar age and seem very comfortable either were able to get on the property ladder very early thanks to the bank of mum and dad or did not have to pay nursery fees because their family was able to help.

Without the risk? Since when does crime only happen in London?

Don’t believe everything you read in the papers, London is the 14th safest city in the world. You need to get out more, it’s a big old world out there…

The house is the millstone around your neck. The mortgage is now unaffordable and it’s costing you a small fortune to run. If you can deal with that, you’d be in a much better position.

Although the trains are costly and unreliable, I really can’t see why your DH cannot commute into the City. The money you’d save on your property outgoings if you bought something smaller outside of London must easily outweigh the train fares.

Yes, it would mean that DH has a longer commute so isn’t around for the kids as much but that isn’t insurmountable.

It’s nice that you like it there, but to wake up machete welding thugs, grime and crime and relentless noise would be my personal vision of hell. Theatre, art galleries, incredible musicians and restaurants and amazing festivals DO exist elsewhere without the danger and risk. Just saying.

Hey Op, I just wanted to sympathise. You haven't done anything wrong. It's fine to live in London and want to stay living in London, IIWY I'd ignore the chorus saying "Leave London! It will resolve everything!" because it won't necessarily.

Our mortgage has gone from £400 to £1200 a month and our gas and electricity from £300 to £500 a month so I know the feeling. We can afford it but we're lucky we can.

I think you've just had a baby so you're (understandably) emotional; you're cold, as are we all, it's freezing and you're wondering how you ended up here. I think you don't have to do anything right now, except enjoy your baby and hope it gets better. Mortgage rates might go down, as might electricity and gas costs. The nursery costs will go in the end but you'll still need some childcare so factor that in but don't worry about it for now. Sorry you're so fed up, I get the "why are we not better off?" feeling and sympathise.

That’s good because London is pretty full already! Most Londoners cannot begin to envision the lack of culture etc. outside the M25. So much so you’ve got city types and doctors who’d rather live in a freezing cold house (with crippling bills), than move to a soulless Barrett’s home estate in the middle of… erm… nowhere. My idea of actual hell.