To think people in their 30s and beyond who still live with their parents are lacking in independence?

I know loads of adult kids who live away from home who still depend a lot on their parents in every sense so moving out certainly doesn't always mean more mature or self reliant.

@Autumnal589 Assuming that these adults are NT, that's quite worrying, tbh, especially if they're over 25.

I know the OP has been roasted here, but there are adults who do stay at home because they just don't want to move out! My DH's friend lived at home til he was 38. He admitted he didn't ever move out, even though he could afford it, because at home he didn't have to do any washing, make dinner etc. His mum also didn't want him to move out, so they were happy with the arrangement. He only moved out because he got married. He then confessed he didn't know how to use a washing machine. 😂 Nice guy, but he really could have done with moving out sooner to gain some basic life skills!

I know loads of adult kids who live away from home who still depend a lot on their parents in every sense so moving out certainly doesn't always mean more mature or self reliant.
To pretend to be dumb to why 30 something are still at home is as I said deliberately goading. Everyone is aware of the housing crisis in the UK. Unless you are living under a rock that is or being deliberately inflammatory which I believe is the case with OP.

I think adult children who are treated like children are lacking independence.

The couple who live opposite us have a son who lives elsewhere in the village. His Mum does his cleaning, his washing and when his dad batch cooks weekly he does it for them and him. He drops it off and puts it in his freezer. They financially bail him out constantly. Living away from your parents isn't the same as being independent from them.

Are you always so judgemental?
Other people's living arrangements are none of your business.
And why are you trying to generalise?
Smug post.

I would think that young people remain living with their parents for all kinds of reasons, though there may be 'trends' it's best not to assume anything.

Fucking horrible attitude op.
My dd bought a flat on her own at 33, ds has just bought a flat on his own at 32. Eldest son luckily has a council flat.
Apart from eldest son who has health issues the other two are very independent and have good jobs and have worked and saved hard for what they have.
So you can fuck off with your opinion

There are many reasons.

We have two family members in their 30's living with parents.

One has a job and a healthy social life but seemingly stay with her mum to look after her.

The other doesn't have a job or a social life and has huge confidence issues so struggles to do things outside comfort zone

You can't assume the reason why someone is living with their parents still.

You do you.

It's something I consider but I would worry about my illnesses flaring up and I would need to have access to a hospital which specialises in my conditions.

This thread is horrible to read to be honest. So much judgement.
I have had many challenges in my life but I'm glad I am not as judgemental and small minded as some of the posters here. That's who I see as the immature ones who have something wrong with them. Not a thirty something still living at home through no fault of their own.

@Autumnal589

That sounds really tough. Would you consider moving up north where rents are a bit cheaper so you could do a house/flat share maybe?

Oh, this again.
I am 39 and living with parents. I work but don't earn anywhere near enough to survive alone. I also have two chronic conditions.
I do my own cooking, cleaning and help around the house. I also save as much as I can. If I could move out tomorrow I would do so in a heartbeat as it's incredibly hard living with parents at my age especially as they make it clear they are the ones in charge and it's a my house, my rules set up which is horrible to live with. Other people can live happily with parents but mine are far from the easiest.
I live in the South East where even shared flat shares are extortionate. The only people I know who have managed to do it are those with much higher earning partners, those who have been given an inheritance by a grandparent or those who are given a sizable amount of money by parents. I have none of those privileges but sure, keep judging.

I think you are being deliberately goady to be honest.

@Araminta1003

because sometimes young people have to move around and move away from their families and rent because they are training for a career and doing work placements or need to move for a job opportunity or whatever. Then renting is a good thing no? I wouldn’t be in the career I’m in now if I wasn’t prepared to “waste” money on rent

I have 4 DC and we lucked out on our house years and years ago. I will be more than happy for them to stay as long as they want & need to, as long as they pull their weight cleaning, cooking, washing wise. Why would I want them to pay thousands a year to a landlord if they do not have to? Makes no sense to me. I also have an unusually large garden for London and plan to put up temporary structures if need be in the future, subject to planning. You know the kind of prefabricated 2 bed, 1 bath, kitchenette type. If it is cheaper than renting, why not?

Whose first step on the property ladder is a £750k property?

Mine was £325k not long ago and it wasn't in a bad area (Zone 3, London). Valued at £350k now, so a young person/couple would need a £35k deposit.

Totally agree with you . I so hope you are stalker free now and living your best life and recovering from that terrible time bless you 💐

I would put it another way. It's difficult to be independent if you are living at home with your parents.

I don't think it's through choice for the majority of them. They are probably living a miserable life which restricts personal relationships, etc, beyond their own control.

I agree.

I think the norms have just shifted, guided by the price of renting or buying property now. It isn't unusual for norms to shift either. It wasn't so long ago that it was expected that multiple generations of a family lived under one roof.

I get that it's more difficult to be independent when you don't live independently, but I don't think it's a default position by any means.

No I think they’re lacking in the £75k required deposit to buy a home in a decent area.

I very quietly all sneaky like moved back to my hometown to evade my stalker. It was a very frightening time.
I was going to my parent’s house early every morning, doing their housework and laundry and cooking their meals and then getting home at about 11pm. I lived out in the country and it was dark and scary when I got home and I was paying a ton of money to basically look after my parents and just sleeping at my house.
So I eventually moved into my parent’s house. And when I did, my mum sat down. She sat down and let me do everything. So I don’t feel like I was “living off my parents” when I was running the house and buying groceries and working in the yard and feeding their dog and cats and doing just about everything that needed doing.
There’s a ton of reasons why people move back home besides just money.
Sometimes it’s for love.

i have known men like that, and they are without a doubt undiagnosed ND.

Keeps her up at night enough to post about it on MN.

How does this affect your own life OP?
You seem disgruntled 🤔