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AIBU?

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To have refused to sign this parenting contract about attendance

139 replies

NoContract · 20/11/2024 17:55

Dd is 15. Attendance is very low (62%). Has never been above 80% since starting secondary.

Dd has multiple medical issues. We have given so many letters from consultants. For the last year if she has for example had a regular illness eg d and v we have had to get proof (a GP appt) or threats of fines are immediate.

Today I was asked to sign a contract that I will make sure attendance improves. I refused as I have no control over it - I’m really thinking now that home education is the only way forward ? Because I refused I was told there will be further referrals made ? Feel like I’m going mad and talking to a brick wall if it was that simple and I could sort things out I would have ??!!

Dd has asked me not to disclose the conditions as there are a lot and may be identifying. I’m able to say they are all long term / permanent and that we are currently not having much luck finding effective therapies

OP posts:
Gettingannoyednow · 20/11/2024 18:08

At 62% attendance she will have missed a great deal - to reach her full potential in her GCSEs she'll need extra support of some sort.
It sounds like her medical conditions meet the definition of disability? I would look at EHCP. Repost in the SEND forum for more expert advice. Google your local Sendiass (special educational needs and disabilities informative advice and support service).

AngelicInnocent · 20/11/2024 18:08

I had same problem with my DD and on several occasions she went into school on morphine just to get her there.

To be fair, she had a fantastic form tutor who intervened whenever he could but I had to learn to not care about the attendance letters. At one point our GP sent a letter to school saying basically stop being ridiculous. Don't know if yours could do anything similar.

If it helps, she did improve once she got the right treatment and has just graduated.

MonteStory · 20/11/2024 18:08

Justkeepingplatesspinning · 20/11/2024 18:07

You need to get onto the person in charge of SEN&D at the school, and the governor in charge of this. This contract is discrimination against your daughter who has long-term medical needs. It's a wonder your GP hasn't already jumped up and down about the need to provide evidence of absence.
It sounds as though a different school might be needed, or alternative provision. If the school aren't willing to engage, the local parent partnership people or SEND team would be the next people to go to.

Agreed - came back to the thread to say I would put a response in writing with the phrase ‘as per the equalities act…’

Justkeepingplatesspinning · 20/11/2024 18:07

You need to get onto the person in charge of SEN&D at the school, and the governor in charge of this. This contract is discrimination against your daughter who has long-term medical needs. It's a wonder your GP hasn't already jumped up and down about the need to provide evidence of absence.
It sounds as though a different school might be needed, or alternative provision. If the school aren't willing to engage, the local parent partnership people or SEND team would be the next people to go to.

Hollowvoice · 20/11/2024 18:06

Illness MUST be an authorised absence, and they can only ask for evidence if they doubt what you're saying.
Do they accept the "regular" absences, those due to her ongoing conditions? If so il I'd be tempted to use those reasons for all absences, even if D&V or whatever. It's not really right but ultimately if she's not well enough to attend school for whatever reason, does it matter what the recorded reason is?

EvilsElsasPetSnowman · 20/11/2024 18:06

YANBU

Its just shocking and patronising.

Who can we as a collective speak to about this nonsense? I’m sick of school obsessing about attendance (by kids are both at 100% so I have no skin in the game). They also tell the kids they’ll basically be failures if they don’t have 95%+ which really angers me as your opportunities don’t end at the age of bloody 16. it’s unrealistic and it treats children like numbers

FixingStuff · 20/11/2024 18:05

Get the school do apply for the EHCP. They will do it better.

FixingStuff · 20/11/2024 18:04

I think you need to apply for an EHCP to get home schooling but you need to stay on the school roll so it is in their interests to push for it to happen. We did that and we have EOTAS home school now. It is much better.

DuckBee · 20/11/2024 18:03

NoContract · 20/11/2024 17:59

We do that for any appointments but if there are days when she is too unwell to attend she can’t even leave the house

Bugger - that’s pretty much it they want is those marks at the time. I think there is a fb group called not fine in school which may be able to help and there is a send group people recommend that can give advice - hopefully someone else knows the name of it.

ByHardyRubyEagle · 20/11/2024 18:02

That’s appalling, they should be focusing on those who could attend and are healthy enough to do so, both mentally and physically, not cherry picking on those they are clearly well aware have chronic health issues. Education in this country is shocking.

Snorlaxo · 20/11/2024 18:01

I was in the same situation and spent years dodging that kind of shit. While I was sympathetic towards the school being under bureaucratic pressure, I had no control over my son’s health or the NHS waiting lists and lack of urgency over treatment so feel no guilt.

MonteStory · 20/11/2024 18:01

Would more rest/less exposure to germs impact any of the conditions? If so I’d look at applying for a reduced timetable

NoContract · 20/11/2024 17:59

DuckBee · 20/11/2024 17:58

Can you play what I call the ofsted game. Basically get her in for morning and after registration but she may leave school in between those times?

Edited

We do that for any appointments but if there are days when she is too unwell to attend she can’t even leave the house

OP posts:
DuckBee · 20/11/2024 17:58

Can you play what I call the ofsted game. Basically get her in for morning and after registration but she may leave school in between those times?

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