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Original poster

If your Dh owned this coat, would you make it mysteriously ‘Disappear’

421 replies

Cantbearsedwiththosepeskyelves · 20/11/2024 15:45

I hate it!

He has lots of lovely clothes, new coat this winter, but always pulls this horror out. A hillbilly, scruffy, donkey jacket.
I realise it’s up to him what he wants to wear and he’s a grown man and it would be wrong for it to mysteriously‘Disappear’

But…would you make this coat mysteriously disappear?

If your Dh owned this coat, would you make it mysteriously ‘Disappear’
OP posts:
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11
givemushypeasachance · 20/11/2024 16:26

You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, carrots work better than sticks.

Rather than putting him off the coat you don't like by criticising it, and making him feel bad, you want him to want to wear something else. So when you see the sort of thing you think he'd look better in, mention that. Compliment him when he wears something that colour - 'the blue of that shirt really brings out your eyes, I love you in that shade, it looks really nice on you'. Similarly with textures or shapes. 'That sort of fitted jacket is really smart, you wear it well, it emphasises your shoulders/slims you/whatever suits his build.' Hold up jackets to him in shops and say 'this would go so well with those brown shoes, and be perfect for that dinner we've got next week'.

You need to be truthful, you shouldn't just bullshit it. But if you truly think that jacket looks scruffy on him and that he would look better in something else, it shouldn't be hard to do. He may not care, if he's totally unbothered about appearance, but if he wants to look handsome to you, cares that you care about what he looks like, then gradually he may well come around to similar thinking.

Flux1 · 20/11/2024 16:26

I couldn't 'lose' it on him, but I would definitely want it to go through the dry cleaners....

Wishicouldnotcare · 20/11/2024 16:26

I've not read the thread, just the OP's posts..
I don't see this thread as light hearted at all, having read plenty of threads on MN where men try and control what women wear.
If OP really really objects to what her DH wears then the problem in the relationship is far deeper than superficilities like dress.

worcesterpear · 20/11/2024 16:25

I didn't know that's what donkey jackets were. It does look nice and cosy if it's real sheepskin, but if you hate how it looks on him, hide it at the back of a cupboard or something.

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 20/11/2024 16:25

I like it - has character

zingally · 20/11/2024 16:24

I've definitely seen worse!

But is it just me, or is it rather feminine? Maybe it's just because I had a coat in a very similar colour and style some years back!

Minycat · 20/11/2024 16:24

I had similar in black about 20 years ago; long gone now.

I would tell him I don’t like it/hate it but would not make it disappear ; if he wants to continue wearing it, it is his choice

Jingleballs2 · 20/11/2024 16:23

Boing98 · 20/11/2024 15:47

No, because I'm not abusive or controlling.

This

WoolySnail · 20/11/2024 16:22

MammaGisAF · 20/11/2024 16:22

Just say “alright Rodney” every time he puts it on.

Better still " you plonker!"

thenightsky · 20/11/2024 16:22

butterpuffed · 20/11/2024 16:19

I agree ! They're short , black and made of the same material as a coat .

Show quote history

Usually with leather, PVC or reflective material shoulders. Mostly worn by road workers.

I'd call the jacket in the OP a shearling car coat, 70s style.

MammaGisAF · 20/11/2024 16:22

Just say “alright Rodney” every time he puts it on.

WoolySnail · 20/11/2024 16:22

Positive reinforcement? When wearing said coat mention how sexy he looks in anything else his blue duffle coat etc

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 20/11/2024 16:21

I go with telling my husband that I'm moving stuff to the loft for winter/summer storage.

Then he's asked "I'm swapping storage again, do you need anything specific?".

Then when stuff's been up there two years, "we haven't worn this stuff in ages, do you really want it?".

He huffs a bit, but I reserve the right not to have our easy access storage cluttered up with his collection of hoodies and winter coats (20 and 8 respectively).

bifurCAT · 20/11/2024 16:21

If your best friend had this sort of wife... would you want to make her mysteriously disappear? 😜

Superworm24 · 20/11/2024 16:20

Sheepskin coats are so hard to style, i always think they look a bit like fancy dress. But regardless you can't throw his clothes away, if someone came on here to say their husband was throwing away their favourite clothing because he didn't like it i would suggest a divorce.

butterpuffed · 20/11/2024 16:19

FictionalCharacter · 20/11/2024 16:15

That isn’t a donkey jacket (yes I know that isn’t the point of the thread 😁)

I agree ! They're short , black and made of the same material as a coat .

Bangwam1 · 20/11/2024 16:16

As tempting as it is, you can’t do that, too mean. Just lose it somewhere until he badgers.

My nan did this and my grandfather wasn’t amused when he saw the neighbour in his clothes 😂

FictionalCharacter · 20/11/2024 16:15

That isn’t a donkey jacket (yes I know that isn’t the point of the thread 😁)

Feelingathomenow · 20/11/2024 16:13

No because he’s a grown man and can decide what he wants to wear

Billydavey · 20/11/2024 16:12

TTPDTS · 20/11/2024 16:00

Can you spill something on it? Tell him his bum looks big in it?

Perhaps slowly stitch it tighter around the seams (shoulders and waist!) until he thinks it doesn't fit anymore?

So gaslight him then

i hope you’re joking

ttcat37 · 20/11/2024 16:12

I think it would find its way into the charity bag.

Mammma91 · 20/11/2024 16:12

It would accidentally fall off the coat hanger, hanging out the wardrobe for his favourite of the 3 cats to discover, therefore he will never take it back from said cat. It has to be the right cat that gets attached to it though, so it tugs on his heartstrings too much to take it back. We too have a coat of horrors, which ‘mistakenly’ made its way up the loft with the Christmas decorations last year. I was pregnant at the time .. baby brain and all that. 😝😂

Delphigirl · 20/11/2024 16:12

All I throw out of DHs are socks with absolutely no heel and toe left and boxers in tatters. I would like to throw out lorroloads more. You can’t do it. You might hold it up and ask him if it is time to bid farewell to it and if he agrees chuck it in the bin before he changes his mind…. I reckon that works about 1 time in 4 so worth a go

Breadcat24 · 20/11/2024 16:11

it looks warm but i'd give it a clean.

professionaloverthinker · 20/11/2024 16:10

@Boing98 ffs....bit dramatic!!