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Original poster

BiL explicit texts - WWYD

509 replies

Calmondeck · 20/11/2024 13:15

I’m having a ‘did that just happen’ moment… have not disclosed this to my DP yet

Received a text from BiL asking for a chat. This is extremely unprecedented, we send the rare occasional birthday text or family photo.

I called worried something was wrong (DP is overseas on a work trip). BiL didn’t accept the call and asked if we could text instead.

He rapidly disclosed a hidden obsession with male on male oral sex and suddenly started sending me explicit images of random men, complete with commentary about what he’d do with them. His texting went on for 1.5 hrs.

I woke up today vaguely wondering whether it was a scam, but feeling certain it wasn’t.

This morning I got a perfunctory “I appreciate the safe space last night. Kindly clear the chat. No need to raise this with DP or (his wife’s name)”.

My mind is spinning. Any advice?

OP posts:
MissUltraViolet · 20/11/2024 13:24

I wouldn't have let that go on for 1.5 hours.

Screenshot, block, talk to DP.

Onlyvisiting · 20/11/2024 13:23

TwattyMcFuckFace · 20/11/2024 13:19

Well yes, ring him obviously.

Sounds like someone has stolen his phone or something.

That's best case scenario. I'd ring his phone from a different number if possible. No need to engage with him, just check if it's his voice who answers.
It's really weird.

ilovelamp82 · 20/11/2024 13:21

Of course you tell your DP. Not your place to tell his wife.

ThreeTescoBags · 20/11/2024 13:21

I'd text him once to tell him what he sent wasn't OK and that he's not to text you again. Then I'd get straight on to your DP, tell him everything and send him the screenshots of the entire thing. This wasn't your doing, don't cover for him and don't give him the opportunity to twist the narrative with your DP at a later date.

FionnulaTheCooler · 20/11/2024 13:21

What a disgusting pervert. No way I'd be keeping his secret, he's probably getting off on the fact that he's forced this conversation onto you in the first place and now thinks he can coerce you to keep quiet.

TwattyMcFuckFace · 20/11/2024 13:19

Well yes, ring him obviously.

Sounds like someone has stolen his phone or something.

WingingIt101 · 20/11/2024 13:18

This is so bizarre - I'd absolutely be telling DP and showing him the messages.

Take screenshots in case he can clear from his side.

If someone else got his phone and did it or if it was him I'd let my DP get to the bottom of that and assuming it wasn't a "scam" I'd be blocking and going NC.

It's unacceptable in my book and then to ask you to lie by omission to dp and sil also shows his poor character.
I'd expect him to try and do this again if he thinks you are a "safe space" and potentially to escalate.

Comedycook · 20/11/2024 13:18

Definitely tell your husband or partner. Then decide together what to do about his wife. Block bil on phone and all sm platforms

Newname85 · 20/11/2024 13:17

WTF? I’d show it all to your DP and cut contacts with him.
tell his wife ? Up to you.