BiL explicit texts - WWYD

This is really disturbing. I hope you're okay OP. Really creepy behaviour. I really hope his wife is okay too.

I would do this before blocking. He needs to realise how utterly inappropriate he is being.

This. What a bizarre dude.

Yeah. I mean, I'm not sure if I would even reply, but this nails it in terms of what he has done.

I agree with pps that you're under-reacting a bit but also, I can totally see why. It's so out of the blue, and disbelief/wtf is happening? would have been my initial response as well. Along with trying to figure out if it was some kind of cry for help.

But I think it's pretty clear now, it's not that.

Because of what she was doing at the time. Most of us have been in that situation with kids and would not prioritise dealing with weird gross texts.

@Calmondeck you entertained that pile of shit for 1.5 hours? Seriously? Why wouldn’t you shut that down immediately?

He's only saying he's told his wife because he's now worried you will.

My response to him would be - ‘You have sent me unsolicited pornographic material. You have invaded my space for your own benefit without my consent. I will not only be telling my husband I will be reporting this to the police. Please do not contact me again’

How dare he involve you in his sexual fantasies. Your DH should have a strong word with him letting him know he must never ever engage with you in this manner again. The trouble is he sounds mentally unstable so it's important to tread lightly. Try & forget about it OP. This man's sexual inclinations which his wife apparently accepts has absolutely nothing to do with you.

I would block BIL for now so he can't contact you again. I'd wait until DP is back home before showing him the messages. Then you can discuss between the two of you what to do next. I would want to tell his wife what he's said - I know some would say it's not your business but he's made it your business by sending you all this unsolicited stuff. If you're good friends with her, it would be very difficult keep this to yourself.

Of course it’s OPs place to tell the wife. She’s the one he was texting!

OP - I think you and your husband have wildly underreacted to this. Your BIL is a sexual predator.

Screen shot everything. Tell your BIL this is sexual harassment and you are going to the police. Never contact me again. Don't block - make sure you save any further messages. Then go to the police.

I'm afraid going nuclear is your only option - do you want to be stuck alone with him in a room at Christmas, after a few drinks?

Your BIL is absolutely doing this for sexual kicks - calling you a safe space is vile. I repeat, he's a sexual predator and you need to be kept safe from him. Your husband needs to keep you safe - it's his brother.

This is really concerning behaviour - ringing mental health crisis alarm bells to me. The stream of consciousness is a symptom of a manic episode, he could have Bipolar Disorder?
I would be telling his wife and perhaps getting him an urgent appointment or intervention.
Not normal at all, totally irrational.

I'd block him OP. Tbh I'd have blocked him after five minutes last night.
He's horrible, he's totally getting off on this.
Let your DH deal with this.

Ewww def- probably pornsick.

It's just a taboo though, isn't it? Wife of your brother. Yuck.

I think you cut him off now. You reply: this was not a safe space for me, you never even checked on that. You’ve walked all over my boundaries to be honest. Please don’t text me again.

I would also block him, the dirty bastard. To be clear not ref the desire for gay sex but involving an unsuspecting woman in his fetish

Personally this is EXACTLY what I'd do. Actually I have. Friend from my teen years kept sending unsolicited pics. Mind you this was just a few years ago so had been friends a long time. Told him to stop then he'd "accidentally" send them. Or detailed messages about his and his gf swinging lifestyle. So I went to the police department. And never spoke to him again. Let the police handle it so he knows you are not a "safe place".

I think you need to block him. I'm sure his wife could get in touch with you if necessary and BIL with your DH. Sounds very messy but it is really not your problem or your business and you need to stop him from continuing to make it so.

Was he smoking crack perhaps? 🤔

He is using you for digital voyeurism, and he is likely getting far more out of it then you would like to think. I knew someone very similar briefly.

Calmon, maybe he's bi, in which case it's a voyeuristic thing. He really seems unwell sexually. Has he ever seemed attracted to you? I would def avoid him wherever possible from now.

The fact he said he showed his wife to show it was about lust not bc their ‘rock solid’ or - whatever he referred to it as - family life - so what?!

News flash - a lot of ppl fantasise about others they’d like to have sex with - most don’t decide to tell their in-laws, send pictures or share it with their partners. This is bizarre.

If he’s doing it with the hope of being given a pass to have sex with men outside the marriage - what is he on?! That’s like a straight man saying he fancies women of a different type to his wife really turn him on so - “no disrespect to you my dear, or our incredibly strong marriage - but you won’t mind if I bonk a few every couple of months would you?” It honestly won’t affect our massively strong marriage I promise - if anything it will only make it stronger!

Yes, ok…… 😂😂😂😂😂🤣

She's explained all this. Why comment on a thread without reading OP's posts?