To think needing 9 hours solid sleep to function is ridiculous

He sounds like an insufferable bore

9 hours some nights? Yes fair enough, everyone needs a bit more sleep sometimes.

9 hours every night? LOL no way.

Plus demanding everyone else tip toes around him and sets the whole agenda for the whole family? Absolutely not.

Sometimes, if I am lucky. Other times, like now at 3.55am I look at socials or read the paper.

Considering my dc are in their 40s you should realise that when i was in my 20s I obviously had loads more energy so of course I got up to them. My middle dc did not sleep through until he was 5. I met my now dh 16 years ago at a dinner party. So yes I did go out in the evening. I have never been a night owl. I hate staying up late. I am a morning person.

Everyone is different remember, you said it on a thread yesterday. Your changed persona didn’t last long.

I think it's just a habit - I love sleeping for 9 hours but can manage well on 6-7 provided i have an occasional lie in. You DH needs to make an effort to have a relationship

We're asleep by 10 and awake by 7. Sometimes 10:30-6:30 so that's 8/9 hours which I definitely need!!

Well, it’s fairly clear on Mn that lots of people don’t have any kind of social life, get into their pyjamas at 6 pm as soon as they’re in the door, and regard invitations of any kind as a tiresome faff. Yet they are married. Similarly with the people who don’t have a single friend and claim to have never formed any kind of connection with other people. Who are also married.

I can only conclude that both types made exceptions to the ‘being in bed by eight’ and ‘having no social life or ability to connect to others’ things when it came to something they considered important, ie finding someone to marry. After which they retired from the world outside their front door.

I was dating in London, and mostly it happened immediately after work, with no going home to change, even when I was living just off Oxford Street. I mean, I’m not someone who needed to be in bed by nine, but I could probably have made it on a regular basis if I wanted to.

@BrunetteHarpy this! These people are talking about needing to go to bed 8pm or 9pm every night! Crazy! How does anyone have a social life?!

We are talking about people going to bed at 8 and 9pm

Dating in my day happened after 7pm because that was the time it took to get back from work, shower, eat and dress to go out

If you have to be in bed by 8 or 9pm how does that work

Surely there's a difference between preferring that much sleep and needing it to the extent that going short impairs your ability to live your life? And in the case of the latter, if this is getting worse over time, surely getting it checked out by a GP to make sure there's no apnoea involved is sensible? (I know a weirdly high number of people who've developed this in middle age so it feels way more common than I knew!)

Mitochondrial functioning is getting better understood all the time and there are definitely people who have naturally lower energy levels who would therefore need more rest to cope (and there's currently not a lot that can be done about this although some people think Q10 makes a difference) but if it's a new thing, it feels sensible to find out if there's anything causing it that can be helped.

Does dating only happen after 11 pm in your world?

Really interested to know how those who need a long unbroken nights sleep actually ended up meeting someone, going out with them and then getting married

@NavyTurtle so how would that work if you had small children like the OP?

Who got up for dc in the night of you can’t be disturbed.

How did you meet and go out with your dh if you have to be in bed by 8pm

@NavyTurtle

you sleep for nearly 11 hours a night?!

I am in bed by 8pm. Get up at 6.45. Work Full time running a construction site. I am 64, 17 in my head. My dh goes to the other side of our house to watch TV so not to disturb me. He's in bed by 9 as he's a builder. You work together and do what you have to do. No love is lost in our house.

Absolutely agree!

Bertielong
I love the idea of being "morally awake"
😍
I know it was a misprint but I still love it
I'm morally asleep owing to needing 8 hours and only ever getting 6 - 🤪🤪

@autienotnoughty

that must be so annoying for you - Every one of your Sundays being dictated around food

You definitely should not have your evenings dictated by him and he should be pulling his weight in terms of kids/house.

But as long as him going to bed early isn't impacting I'd say it's fine.

It is hard though, my dh has a lay in every Sunday he gets annoyed if we plan to go out before 11 am as he likes a full English but he also likes to be home by 3pm to start cooking tea. So we can never have a full day out anywhere. (I work Saturday) it's the restrictions it brings to your life.

But he is quite happy to dictate to his dw that she goes to bed at the same time so he doesn’t get disturbed if she were to come to bed later.

No reading in bed as the light from her phone disturbs him, so she has to lie in silence next to him

and

All night time wakings by dc are dealt with by his dw because he needs his 9hours of undisturbed sleep

Why does his need for sleep trump her need for a relax in front of the tv?

Why does his need for sleep trump her need for undisturbed sleep?

As someone who at 1am this morning was trying to get on top of the washing pile after a 13 hour shift and who needs to be at work at 7am for another long shift.

3.5 hours sleep is all I will get today.

As I am in a public facing role I will psych myself up to be happy and smiley and no one will know I am dropping on my feet because I will put my tiredness to one side and deal with it tonight
I am an adult. It’s what you do

9 hrs sleep is as normal as 7 or 8. Different people have different sleep needs.
i certainly feel different (not in a good way) when i sleep less than 8.5-9 hrs