To ask nursery not to let my child play outside when it’s dark out

My local playpark is floodlit and you can see parents with young children there right up until 9pm when it closes.

I think they would have lights on in the nursery garden so he's not playing in the dark.

Any nursery worker will tell you children behave very differently at nursery (eating nicely at the table, napping with no trouble) so don't worry about the not playing in the dark rule. Literally every thing is different from home and kids understand that.

It's threads like this which really make me miss my late DF. He used to enjoy hearing about the bonkers things which cause some MNers such angst!

Don’t set your child up for being scared of the dark, you are doing them no favours.

If you want childcare that caters to your child alone then get a nanny. A nursery can't just leave your child inside either unattended or disregard ratios because you don't like the dark.

I assume it's an enclosed garden so a safe space. Although he should be dressed for the weather.

My ds after-school club gives them torches and high Vis jackets to play out. They love it!

mainly because the message is confusing

No it isn't. There are many things he'll be able to do at nursery that he doesn't do at home and vice versa.

but also often he’s not adequately dressed to be outside not wearing gloves and hat and has been happy but freezing several times picking him up.

So raise this with the nursery rather than asking them to ban him from a perfectly healthy pastime.

I'm another one who is incredulous that a child can't play out in the dark! I've lived in northern Scandinavia where the sun goes down in November and comes back for half an hour late January.....everyone is out in the dark. Children play out in it all the time, in thick snow for months of the year. There's nothing wrong with playing in the dark.

Make sure your child has proper clothing at nursery and ask them to check he's dressed appropriately. Being outside is so much healthier than staying cooped up indoors. It's perfectly OK to have a different rule about being out in the garden in the evening, your child will understand it may be harder for you to supervise the garden whereas the nursery is differently staffed (or whatever the reason). At nursery age he's also old enough to understand a simple age-appropriate explanation as well.

Is it beyond your capability to make sure your child has adequate clothing for being outside? You are being ridiculous - your poor child!

We used to go for “dark walks” with torches, usually in that nightmare hour between dinner and bath time. It was a great way to tire them out without creating additional mess in the house.

would it be unreasonable to ask the nursery to keep him in from 4pm

Yes. As nurseries work on a staff to child ratio.

If you ask to keep your son inside he will need a staff member plus X amounts of kids with him too.

It’s good for development to experience the seasons, elements etc.

Our nursery let the toddlers play with real utensils and saucepans. This has led to both my kids practically begging me to play with my kitchen equipment which I won't allow. Yes, they got upset, a few times, but eventually learned it was a nursery game. Not a home game.

(And yes, they had toys of this stuff, but of course that wasn't as fun 🙄)

Presuming all the kids go out at the same time who exactly do you think will look after your child indoors if all the staff are outdoors with the other children? Do you want them to employ 2 more staff for that hour to sit inside with your child or do you want them to not take any of the kids outside? As a parent with 2 kids in nursery I’d be extremely pissed off if the nursery altered their usual routine because of one child not being allowed outside in the dark 🙄

I took both of my boys (4yrs and 21 months) outside to play in the snow when we got home from nursery this evening, it was around 6:15 when we went out and do you know what? They loved it and no monsters got them or anything.

Why can't he play outside in the dark? Genuinely what do you think will happen. My kids woulds dometimes play out in the garden in the early evening at this time of year. We also took them walks most evenings unless it was pouring or too windy. We would often stop at the park on these walks for a quick play. I really don't understand why they can't go out to play in the dark.

Might I suggest getting a copy of The Owl Who Was Afraid of the Dark?

What do think children in finland, norway, sweden & iceland do in winter when there's little/no daylight? The darkness isn't going to hurt him.

I don’t even think the clothing is an issue. If he’s happy that means he’s probably warm enough. If he was cold he’d go back inside.

What if all the other children are outside and he has to stay inside? Being outside is good for kids.

We deliberately go out in the dark because it's fun for kids! We often take DS out on a pyjama wall and he has a torch which he thinks is fab. I've had him out in roller skates in the dark recently. I have an ulterior motive of walking the dog but I love it for DS because it's exciting for him!

Are you scared of the spider willies?

My 4yo was put in the dark today coming home from swimming. He walks home from after-school club in the dark three times a week. If we kept him in when it's dark it would be a pretty boring and difficult winter

Send your child in with warmer clothes, and if you do want to keep your rule about not going out in garden when it's dark just explain nursery has a different rule to home, like they have different mealtimes etc

You'd be creating an issue where other children can go outside but he must be made to stay inside.

Make sure he has the right clothing but I don't think nursery can or should separate a child from other children.

Some parents people are just weird. Your child will not go bad if he’s darked on at nursery.

I think PPs are missing the OPs point: she happens to have a no playing outside in the dark rule at home and she wants to reinforce this rule at nursery.

Obviously that's completely unreasonable, and also unnecessary since children understand there are different rules in different places. But I didn't get the impression the OP was scared of the dark.

Yes he should be dressed appropriately that's separate.