For being sad that I didn’t get invited to DH friend’s wedding

I think some couples really don’t care if their guests enjoy themselves. After all, ‘their wedding, their rules…..’
I find it sad really.

Rude to send you a save the date and then no invite. That's worse than not inviting a spouse.

But if it's no other OHs, just DH + 4 male friends...the dynamic does change a bit.

I still think they should have asked you.

Enjoy your night in.

If your DH has given the impression to his friend in the past that he isnt bothered whether you, as his wife, accompanies him to parties and meet ups in the past then it perhaps explains why you haven't been invited to the wedding : his friend has got the impression your DH wouldn't be bothered about you not being there.
I think that's very sad OP.

The world is in the state it is at the moment because of a lack of manners. Have you seen how many threads there are about the current rudeness of people?

I stick to my original statement. Weddings have got completely out of hand with their extravagance. Might as well have a poncy expensive day and not invite any guests - that would solve the problem!! I don't live in the UK, maybe we are a bit more clued up on wedding etiquette here.

I think this is your answer. It would maybe cause drama if you were invited and other partners were not so it’s easier to say no plus ones

I think that’s fair enough and don’t agree with some posters that people should be invited to weddings just because they are the spouse of a guest they want to have there

I've heard of this happening more frequently due to costs. It sounds like it's totally not personal OP, just if they invited you then they'd have to invite all the other plus ones. I understand your disappointment though, weddings are such a good vibe day and it's so rare to get chance to get dressed up and have fun with partner and friends as everyone is so busy.

I do get it because DH and I’s wedding ended up being 60 people when we really only had 15 guests each but once we added partners on (everyone had long term partners) it became 30 each.

That being said I think it’s rude not to invite established partners to a wedding hence why we did. I would politely turn down an invite if my husband wasn’t invited and he vice versa. I wouldn’t make an issue of it though because it’s up to the bride and groom. But an invite isn’t a summons as they say.

I think it's very rude to not invite you. I wouldn't have dreamed of it for my wedding. All wedding invitations have been for me and my husband although we've passed the age where weddings are very common. I find the habit of "evening" invites without the ceremony and reception a bit tacky as well - sort of second class guests. It simply wasn't a thing when I got married. You either were there for the whole thing or you weren't.

It sounds like you have no relationship with the bride and groom and I think where there are any concerns about costs or venue size plus ones are the obvious choice to cull. What better way to ensure the people who mean most to you in life can all be invited?

Another reason nobody has mentioned could be that there is some kind of "lads dynamic" going on and they felt having a wife around may spoil the fun they have planned. Some men take copious amounts of drugs when out with their mates and others are not always faithful (not saying he will do this, but I know lots of men who are entirely different people to their partners compared to their old childhood friends). Long-term friendship groups tend to be complicit in this sort of behaviour and enable the person to be who they were "back in the days" rather than accepting their current circumstances. If DH has ever given you any reason to suspect his behaviour while away from you, then it may be best to be a bit wary.

I've never heard of a wedding where all the guests were not included a plus one.
Is this a proper wedding party with dinner and dancing?

The mumsnet obsession with manners is bonkers.

Dumbest, most ludicrous post on the thread. Have a medal 🏅

I would say it was a cost thing, they maybe even wanted to invite you, considering you have known each other longer / more established, but didn't want the questioning* from the other men. Get yourself a lovely bottle and pamper bits.

Rude.

wow that was rather blunt and hurtful. Im sure OP doesn't need to think that. Weddings are completely expensive.

I mean I personally find that strange after 8 years but fair enough!

Although I don’t think you can then be too surprised if you’re not invited to everything, including weddings.

What on earth does this mean ? The 'normal' bit

My husband and I didn’t have a wedding, just an us and parents only registry office thing as I’ve never liked the idea of having a big wedding for myself. But had we have had a big wedding, I would have invited friend’s and their partners, especially if they’re married as I feel that’s what is “normal”.

Are the other ladies of the group invited ?

Well I suppose that they just don't really like you for some reason