I called him today as I yet again had bad feedback from nursery regarding my youngest.
It keeps happening and it's upsetting and stressful. My H thinks I don't ' handle ' people properly and should ' put them in their place '. Letting them know that our child is only young and just needs a cuddle and that it's normal kids act up and they should ' just deal with it' .
I disagree with this exact approach and like to hear out the nursery workers to get an understanding of what's going on. Anyway today, they gave bad feedback about aggressive behaviour and I didn't really have time to chat for too long or delve into it. I listened to the complaint and kind of went ' oh no ' ' ok ', I'll chat to my child at home. I was rushed off my feet and needed to get going to get my other child. Plus, some other parents were there and I wasn't in a mood to have this chat in front of them. My plan is to ask for an actual meeting ( away from pick up and drop off times, as you can't really talk properly ).
Anyway, H kept asking why I didn't discuss it further. He literally asked me, not kidding 8 times on the phone why I didn't ' put them in their place '. I said I didn't have time delve and needed to go. ' but why didn't you ? ' ' why do you always let them get away with stuff '... etc etc. in the end I shouted and hung up the phone and told him F off. I know. I'm not proud. I just lost it.
Then when he came home, we talked about it again and he asked me again why didn't I tell them that our child is really young etc and I again got mad and said to F off ( I think ). He then lost it and said I'm the reason my child is aggressive.
Our kids were watching TV in the other room so didn't hear us swearing but came in once they heard us shouting at each other and told us to stop shouting. We did and we apologised to them for getting angry with each other and explained how sometimes people fight but they talk about things and make up again.
I know, neither of us is coming off particularly well here. I've been really calm lately in general. I've not shouted or got angry in the last six months but I have been known to occasionally get angry at my husband because he just does not hear me sometimes, like today. I've really worked on it and I don't think it's fair to blame me on my child's issues at nursery at the moment.
I think what he said was extremely hurtful and way worse than what I said to him. I just don't feel like he hears me.
Anyway, I'm sure most responses will just say we are both idiots.