Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

15 year old talking to themselves

117 replies

Numberedout · 19/11/2024 17:38

Have name changed for this and am posting here for traffic.
I am wondering if anyone has any experience of this and could shed some light as I'm driving myself crazy.
I caught DD talking to herself in the bathroom. She's doesn't know that I was listening. It was a full blown conversation about stuff but I couldn't quite make out what exactly as there is a fan on in there.
I have family history of schizophrenia and psychosis from my dad's side and all sorts of things are running through my head.
She has always done this, even as a young child. But since the last couple of years I thought she had outgrown it but clearly not.
She has a few friends at school and seems to engage in family life ok.

OP posts:
Snowxmas · 19/11/2024 18:43

I think a busy, internal dialogue can be a sign that someone is imaginative. I’m always going off into day dreams and flights of fancy, which sometimes involve lots of spoken words, although I usually manage to keep them inside my head rather than saying them out loud! It’s just like a child playing, really. No one has ever suggested I’ve got schizophrenia and I’m in my mid 50s so I don’t think it’s very likely to happen now.

Strawberrydrill · 19/11/2024 18:43

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrapersonal_communication#:~:text=Because%20of%20its%20many%20functions,positive%20and%20negative%20self%2Dtalk.

just keep an eye that it is positive and not delusional. DD talks herself through her day and chats about her ideas for the future and where this or that should go or her work etc all positive and finds it soothing. I do the same. I also like reading the instructions on bottles and find that soothing.

Intrapersonal communication - Wikipedia

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrapersonal_communication#:~:text=Because%20of%20its%20many%20functions,positive%20and%20negative%20self%2Dtalk.

User37482 · 19/11/2024 18:42

I talk to myself quietly all the time. Theres nothing wrong with me. Echoing PP I’m often being “interviewed” on my verrrrrry important opinions.

Numberedout · 19/11/2024 18:41

@Plastictrees your last post is spot on about my own anxieties. Yes I have had a lot of trauma that needs to be unpicked. It's something I always put off because I know it's going to be painful and draining but so is this I suppose.
To protect my own children I have tried to do everything right. I'm definitely not perfect (who is?) Right food, good sleep, showing affection, etc etc but I'm learning that I can't control everything and that's the hardest part.
When my elder DD developed tics (which she still has but less so now) I tore myself up about how It must have been my poor parenting.
Coming on here has been a relief. It's the only place I can acknowledge how scared I really am. Being strong all day for everyone Is exhausting.
I will take your advice and get some counselling around my anxiety.

OP posts:
WhatsitWiggle · 19/11/2024 18:41

I've found my people! I talk to myself a lot, might be muttering about a task whilst working or I've had conversations in the bathroom mirror when thinking about how a conversation might go.

Strawberrydrill · 19/11/2024 18:37

DD has full on imaginary conversations with herself about all sorts of stuff. She was worried and asked me about it and I said I do it too. It helps me manage emotions and expectations etc DD is academic and looked it up - it has a name a medical term. I’ll ask her about it later but it is perfectly normal.

ValentinesDayCryingInTheHotel · 19/11/2024 18:36

doodleschnoodle · 19/11/2024 17:41

Maybe she's doing what I do sometimes when alone. Pretend I'm giving a radio interview about something Grin DH walked in to me once being interviewed by myself about my latest novel (that doesn't exist).

i do this, mine’s a cooking show

Anotherworrier · 19/11/2024 18:35

doodleschnoodle · 19/11/2024 17:41

Maybe she's doing what I do sometimes when alone. Pretend I'm giving a radio interview about something Grin DH walked in to me once being interviewed by myself about my latest novel (that doesn't exist).

Absolutely brilliant

SleepToad · 19/11/2024 18:35

Working alone for 15 years means that I often say thoughts out loud!

At 15 is she reciting Shakespeare, practicing the words to a song. I'm a big Chuck berry fan. He was basically writing rap music in 1955! To learn the words I often spoke them as in Nadine he uses likes like, " I saw my future wife walking down the street, she turned and doubled back and got in a coffee coloured Cadillac " or Johnny b Goode "deep down in Louisiana, across from New Orleans,way back in the woods among the evergreens" sung faster than talking pace.

Daysgo · 19/11/2024 18:35

And she sounds like she enjoys oral arguments, debates from what you say. She sounds lovely.

Daysgo · 19/11/2024 18:34

Id wonder could she be role playing some conversation she's thinking of having with someone... Id do that myself on occasion.. Especially as it was in bathroom with fan so she'd have privacy maybe..

Plastictrees · 19/11/2024 18:33

Numberedout · 19/11/2024 18:28

@Plastictrees do you really think so?

Maybe that was going too far but like I said, if we had intervened earlier with my relative he could have had a better outcome.

I will leave it for now and let her be.

I do. I understand your concern, it makes sense now given your background. If you have no other reasons to be concerned I really wouldn’t give it any more thought.

vodkaredbullgirl · 19/11/2024 18:32

I often talk to myself too. Not much now my dds are adults 😆

Oblomov24 · 19/11/2024 18:31

I talk to myself all the time. I think out loud. I go over stuff. I have planned conversations. I am 0% bothered or ashamed.

Jifmicroliquid · 19/11/2024 18:30

doodleschnoodle · 19/11/2024 17:41

Maybe she's doing what I do sometimes when alone. Pretend I'm giving a radio interview about something Grin DH walked in to me once being interviewed by myself about my latest novel (that doesn't exist).

I do this 😂

Numberedout · 19/11/2024 18:28

@Plastictrees do you really think so?

Maybe that was going too far but like I said, if we had intervened earlier with my relative he could have had a better outcome.

I will leave it for now and let her be.

OP posts:
ginasevern · 19/11/2024 18:27

I know a lot of posters are saying they talk to themselves, and so do I. We all do sometimes. But I think a teenager is somewhat different. If it were me, I'd try to hear the "conversation". I have a son with psycosis who talks to himself but the things he says are irrational and often frightening. It isn't "normal" role play or fantasy or even mundane stuff. It's hard to explain really.

Plastictrees · 19/11/2024 18:26

Numberedout · 19/11/2024 18:05

Thanks for your kind replies, much appreciated.
It's very reassuring.

I am guilty of jumping on everything my children do that feels "odd".
I have had a traumatic childhood due to poor mental health in close and wider members of my family. The ripple effects means that I'm trying to protect my own children from the same fate. The rational part of me knows I can't control everything and that I need to let them be but the worry wort in me won't stop over analysing!

@Plastictrees from my experience of a close relative with schizophrenia, it's definitely related unfortunately. The only difference is that the affected person talks to themselves in public as well as in private.

Just read this. I work in this field, someone talking to themselves would not indicate psychotic illness - there would need to be a broader picture of concern which you haven’t provided here, apart from your own fears and anxieties. Would you seek support for that? This sounds an exhausting way to live and you are risking pathologising someone unnecessarily, and negatively impacting your relationships by doing so. I understand what you mean about your traumatic history and desire to protect your children, that make sense and says so much positively about you as a mother. It can be beneficial to unpack our own trauma in order to gain a better understanding of ourselves and a clearer sense of others too, if trauma is unprocessed we can view things through a kaleidoscope of threat and danger which can be unhelpful. All the best to you OP.

Keha · 19/11/2024 18:23

I talk out loud a lot to rehearse conversations. It would sound like one side of a conversation. Kind of thing might be if I have a difficult meeting at work, I'll find myself often in the bathroom saying out loud what I might say in response to a question. It wouldn't though sound like a conversation with myself back and forth, or like I was responding in the moment to something I was hearing. I think you'd know though if she experiencing significant mental health symptoms.

Numberedout · 19/11/2024 18:20

Thinking about it, I definitely have an inner dialogue going on all the time but iv not done it out loud. Maybe I am the strange one 😂

DD is a deep thinker and can literally pull the smallest topic from every direction into every point of view and that was how her conversation sounded when I overheard her.
Like a PP said, I'll keep an eye on it but have relaxed about it a little. I can see why it would regulate some people. Talking out loud must be much less tiring than having a constant inner dialogue which I personally find exhausting!

My apprehension about the family link will always be there but I wont intervene for now.

OP posts:
Plastictrees · 19/11/2024 18:19

Numberedout · 19/11/2024 18:09

@ohtowinthelottery I'm not sure, I couldn't hear properly. It was definitely a full on conversation though. I'm going to try and listen again if I can.

This seems like quite a disproportionate response from you. If I was to overhear a family member talking to themselves, I wouldn’t think anything of it, let alone try to listen again!

Thought verbalising is the term. My mum does it incessantly; she always has, she doesn’t have a psychiatric diagnosis.

Is there a backstory here?

larkinthebark · 19/11/2024 18:17

Some will be doing “tutorials” like they watch on tik tok…

But you have reason to be concerned … perhaps open with
were you doing a hair /make up/ skincare tutorial ?!

Judge response …

Lostinbrum · 19/11/2024 18:16

Might be maladaptive daydreaming. I've done this since I was a child and didn't realise it was a thing until I saw a tictok on it! I live an entirely seperate life in my head, as someone else. When I was younger and having a conversation in my head in my other life sometimes I'd speak it out loud without even realising. I tick alot of boxes for adhd and think it developed as a way to focus my mind on something. I've done it my whole life.

PrawnofthePatriarchy · 19/11/2024 18:14

Sometimes talking to yourself is the only way to get a sensible answer, as my DF always said.

niadainud · 19/11/2024 18:12

SummerFeverVenice · 19/11/2024 17:43

Most people talk to themselves in the mirror in the bathroom. It’s usually thinking out loud or role playing how a conversation might go…

Do they??

Swipe left for the next trending thread